One Day at a Time
by SeanySass
Summary: When Blaine hits rock bottom, will his best friend be able to bring him back? Blaine POV, gets very deep. Set during "Glease!" Rated M for reasons. Reviews/Suggestions are welcome!
1. A Flickering Star

Author's Note: This is my first time ever really writing any sort of fanfic. Please review and let me know if there is something that I need to work on in future chapters. I'd love your feedback and want to make this story as good as it can be. Thank you!

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I still can't believe it. Kurt's here. At the show. Thank god Finn showed up to save me from what would have been a really awkward conversation. I could tell it was just as awkward for him as it was for me. He wouldn't even look me in the eye. I mean, it is great to see him again, but this was the worst possible time he could have shown up. I have to be out there singing _Beauty School Dropout_ in like, just a couple minutes and all the lyrics are jumbled in my head right now. I can't go on. I have to find Sam, maybe he can have someone take my place for the scene. That's why they invented understudies. Right?

I feel like I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I can't find Sam anywhere, and nobody else can either. There's 15 minutes left until I go on and whoever is taking my place is going to need as much time to prepare as possible. What am I going to - "SAM!"

Crap. Don't scream backstage is like, rule number three of being in a show. I can't worry about that. My heart is pounding as I run over to Sam.

"Sam, I can't go on. Kurt's here and I saw him before the show started and I'm freaking out and I just can't go on because I don't remember the words and if I see him sitting out there I don't know what I'm going to do and I just can't do this right now I'm so sorry." The words were just pouring out of me and tears were welling in my eyes. I could hardly see straight let alone think. Suddenly, I felt Sam wrap his arms around me.

"Blaine," he was whispering in my ear "you can do this." He pulled away and looked into my eyes. "You know this song better than anyone else and its phenomenal. You were the first one to have any song memorized. If anyone can go out there and knock everyone's socks off, its going to be you. Just remember all the hard work you put into it and don't let Kurt ruin your performance. Everyone believes in you."

He was right. Nobody else knew the song, nobody else could take my place. I had to do this. I had to prove to myself that I could do this. It was time for me to shine.

As soon as I set foot on that stage, our eyes locked. He was the only person in the entire auditorium. It took everything that I had not to run off and hide. But I couldn't do that. I couldn't let everyone down. Sugar, Ryder, Marley, I couldn't let them down. I couldn't let Sam down. He put so much work into this show and I couldn't blow it. I heard the music and I started singing. The first couple notes, a little shaky. Focus Blaine! Focus on Sugar, you're singing to her, not Kurt. Don't think about Kurt. Alright, so far so good. Just keep going and you can freak out when you get backstage. Don't look out at the audience. Almost done, thank god. Crap. The look on Kurt's face. I miss that face so much... DAMMIT BLAINE. Just finish the song already.

And that was that. The song was over, I took my leave of the stage and immediately found a small room and cried my eyes out. I couldn't believe that he would do that to me. He knew how much I loved him and how sorry I was for the mistake that I made. I betrayed him and he broke my heart. I deserved it. Why am I so weak? Why am I so desperate to not be alone?

"Maybe it would be better if I just died." I was thinking out loud now. "I should have never come to McKinley. I never should have opened up to Kurt back at Dalton. None of this would have ever happened. I would still be with the Warblers. I would have been able to find a way to be happy there." Tears were streaming down my face. I wish I could have just gone back in time. Back when everything was okay and I didn't have to blame myself for anything. I just wish the pain would go away.

"Please, someone, make the pain go away. Just end it now. Please. I can't handle anymore." Silence. Nobody is going to help me, so I have to help myself. I reached my hand out and grabbed something rough. Rope. I tied it up like I had seen on those crime shows when people get hanged. Good thing dad sent me to boy scouts hoping it would get rid of the gay. Loop it around my neck, hang it from the ceiling, and jump off the chair. That's all that I had to do. I'd be dead in the next 30 seconds and all my issues would be gone. No more hurt, no more guilt, no more mistakes. It was for the best. I'll never hurt anyone else. One step off this chair and it will all be over and I can finally be at peace. Everyone can be at piece.

My entire body is shaking. I have to do this. I took a step forward. "Goodbye everyone." I closed my eyes, heard a loud bang, and everything went still. I went still.


	2. An Angel's Word

Author's Note: This chapter is probably going to seem a little jampacked in, but there was a lot that needed to go into it and I didn't want to make it ridiculously long. Also, I'm going to try and update two or three times a week. With my first semester of college ending this week, I'll have a lot of time on my hands I suppose. But please, review and make suggestions to help me make my writing better!

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So this is what it is like to die. Its just like everyone said. A bright light right in front of you, but you have to choose whether or not to walk towards it. Salvation from all the pain was right in front of me. I feel like I could almost reach out and touch it. Its one of the most beautiful things ever. Wait. What the heck? Why am I floating? Why can't I move any of my limbs? Someone is holding me. As I look down, I see a blonde head. I feel myself being carried towards the light. Whoever this angel is, he is taking me into the light.

Suddenly, I'm being lowered and my feet touch the ground. I look at my angel. Its Sam. Wait a minute. I'm supposed to be dead. Why is Sam here? I'm not dead. "Blaine, what the hell were you thinking?" Sam is screaming at me. The show ended while I was wallowing in my self guilt and I missed my bow. "I know seeing Kurt freaked you out, but you're stronger than this."

"You don't know what it feels like Sam. You don't know what it is like to watch the one person you love turn his back on you because of one stupid mistake." I can't control the stream of tears that's coming down my face. Sam pulls me in for a hug and I sob into his shoulder. "I'm a horrible person Sam. Everything that I do hurts people. I've destroyed my family because of my sexuality, I broke Kurt's heart because I was a lonely, desperate idiot, and I deserve to die."

"Blaine." Sam's hand moved to the back of my head, holding it to his shoulder. "Listen to me. You are my best friend. I don't want you thinking like this. You have so much to live for. So what if things didn't work out with Kurt? What doesn't kill you is supposed to make you stronger. When I move your hand, I want you to look me in the eyes. I want you to show you that there is someone that is here for you."

As he slowly moved his hand off of my head, I looked up. The light that I had seen earlier was behind his head, giving him a heavenly glow and making his blonde hair shine. I looked into his eyes and saw worry. He really does care about me. He really was my best friend. Then, Sam looked past my head and his mouth dropped. As I turned around, I heard his voice.

"Blaine, are you okay?"

Kurt. I wanted to collapse. I wanted to run away. I looked at Kurt, all the memories suddenly flashing into my mind. Our first kiss, singing _It's Not Unusual_ to him on my first day at McKinley, our first time, winning Nationals with him, being there for him when he was rejected from NYADA, and telling him to leave and go to New York. That was the last happy moment I remembered having with him. Everything spiraled out of control after that, and it was my fault. I should have kept Kurt here in Lima. Then I never would have been lonely. None of this would have ever happened. I would still be happy.

"Yea. I'm fine." There was a whimper in my voice as I wiped the tears from my eyes. I had to get out of there. I couldn't let anybody see me at my worst. I pulled away from Sam and hurried out of the auditorium. I ran into the boys' bathroom, it was empty. I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were red, my nose was running, the makeup from the show streamed down my face in black lines. I look like an absolute mess. I sat down against the wall because my legs felt like noodles. I tried to collect myself and get out of the building and just go home, but I couldn't.

"Blaine, can I come in?" It was Sam. He was right outside the door. I didn't want to talk to anybody, so I stood there hoping he would just go away. "Dude, I know you are in there. I'm not leaving you alone until I know that you are alright, even if I have to stand outside this door all night." He really cares... Of course he did, I was his best friend. That's what bros do, right? I managed to get myself up and stumble over to the door, using the wall to help me keep my balance. I tripped over my own feet and fell out the door. Sam managed to grab me just before I landed face first into the floor. Good thing the boy is strong. He got me back on my feet and he helped me walk into the choir room. He sat me down on one of the chairs and he pulled one up so he was sitting right in front of me. "I talked to Kurt." I looked right at him like I did before Kurt showed up. "He didn't come here to freak you out. He is still upset about what happened, but he doesn't want you to blame yourself. He regrets getting too involved with his work and the New York lifestyle. He knows that he can't be there for you the way that a boyfriend should, and that's why he broke it off."

"Did he really say that?" I was whimpering again. I don't know what it was, but other than Kurt, I never showed my emotions to anybody. I always kept them bottled up because I didn't want to look weak to anybody. But Sam was different. There was something so endearing about him that I just couldn't stop myself. He was my best friend after all.

"Blaine, would I lie to you?"

"No, but I don't want you to pity me..."

"I don't pity you Blaine. I know you're upset. I felt the same way after my relationship with Mercedes ended. I thought it was the end of the world. I never thought that I would be able to function again. But then something clicked in my head and reminded me that there is so much that I have to look forward to in life. I couldn't keep dwelling on Mercedes. I had to look at it as a learning experience. And you have to do the same thing. One ended relationship is not the end of your world Blaine. Kurt's managed to get past your mistake, now you have to. And I promise that any time that you are feeling weak, you can call or text me and I promise that I will help calm you down."

I couldn't believe it. Nobody had ever promised me that they would be there. Nobody had ever comforted me when I was angry or upset. "Thank you Sam... You are such a good friend. I don't deserve your friendship. I'll just end up hurting you like I did Kurt."

Sam was looking at me like I had five noses or something. He started laughing. "Blaine, dude, you are the coolest person I know. You deserve everything God has to give you. If I'm one of those things, then there is a reason for it. I'm going to help you through this." I felt his hands on my shoulders and he was looking at me with a serious expression. "I want you to promise me that you are going to go home tonight, climb into bed, and text me when you want to talk. Okay?"

"Okay Sam." I wasn't sure if that was the truth or not. I didn't want to risk hurting Sam, but maybe I did just need to talk about everything. We went our separate ways that night and when I finally got back to my house, I did what Sam told me. I showered, crawled into bed, and grabbed my phone. I typed out a message to him and debated about whether or not I should press send. If I did, I risked bringing Sam into my life, which I knew would eventually lead to me hurting him. But if I didn't, then I might end up killing myself.

I sat my phone on my stomach and closed my eyes. I didn't know what to do.


	3. Just Another Day

**AN: This chapter was surprisingly not easy to write. It took me like three days to fully get everything across the way I wanted to, but its probably my favorite one so far. I hope you enjoy reading it!**

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I walked down the halls of McKinley the next morning with a smile on my face. I couldn't let anybody know what happened last night. I decided not to text Sam, and I think that it was for the best. I have to take care of myself and if I couldn't get through seeing Kurt on my own, then I shouldn't even bother being alive. I stopped at my locker like I always do when someone tapped me on the shoulder.

As I turned around, I could heard whoever it was was breathing really heavily. It was Sam, and he didn't look very happy.

"You fucking asshole." He definitely wasn't very happy. "I stayed up all night waiting for you to text me. I told you to text me, and when you didn't, I thought you were dead. I thought you had went and killed yourself like some pussy." His voice was slowly rising and I didn't know what to do. I just stood there and took his verbal beat down. "Ever since Kurt broke up with you, all you've done is push everyone away. Everybody knows that you are not as fine as you say you are. We all know that you are upset, but you won't let us help you. We are your friends Blaine. We are supposed to be here for each other. You help me, I help you, that's how it works!"

All I could do was stare at the floor. I couldn't look at him. He stopped yelling. I assumed that it was my turn to explain myself so I just started talking. "Sam, I'm sorry that I made you worry about me, but I just couldn't open myself up. I told you that every time I open myself up, someone that I truly care about gets hurt. When I told my family about my sexuality, it completely destroyed it. My parents argued every day and it drove my brother to the other side of the country. My parents didn't force me to go to Dalton, I wanted to go there so I would hopefully stop beating myself up about their arguing. I opened up to Kurt and broke his heart. I didn't want to do the same thing to you. I knew that if I hurt you, everyone would hate me and I'd never have anybody else. I have to make myself strong or else I will never last in this world."

"That is the biggest crock of shit I have ever heard. Blaine, when you and I ran together for class president, we promised to be friends for life. LIFE. How can we be friends if you can't let me help you." He was still angry. The pity he had for me last night had vanished.

"Because how can I help you if I can't help myself Sam?" I could feel the anger rising within me. He just didn't get it. "If you're supposed to come to me for help, how am I supposed to know what to say if I can't help myself through this shit?" I finally managed to look at his face and I could see that he was surprised.

Sam took a deep breath and spoke very quietly. I had to struggle to hear what he said. "Because sometimes a new perspective is all you need Blaine. Look, as much as I want to help you, I can't do that unless you let me. And if you won't let me help you, then maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore." He turned around and walked away. I couldn't believe what just happened.

My best friend, gone. My legs felt like they were going to give out again and I grabbed onto my locker door to keep me from falling. Pull yourself together Blaine. Stay strong for yourself, you have to. Don't let others see you be weak. I looked into the mirror in my locker, took a deep breath and plastered a smile onto my face. I am Blaine Anderson. I slammed my locker shut and turned around and walked to class.

After that, the day really seemed to fly by. Before I knew it, it was time for Glee club. I debated not showing up because I knew that Sam would be there, but I really needed to just lose myself in some music today. As usual, I was the first one there, so I sat down at the piano and just started playing. _Kiss the Rain _by Yiruma was my go to song whenever I was feeling a little down. I managed to get about a minute into the song when the other members of New Directions began walking in the door. I took my seat where I usually did and leaned over to talk to Tina.

"Hey Tina, can you help me study for our Calculus test tonight? I'm not getting this whole integral thing."

Tina turned around and glared at me. "Why are you asking me? Is it because I'm Asian and that means I'm supposed to be good at math? Or is it because I'm a girl and I'm supposed to do whatever I can to help the men of this world?"

I was dumbfounded. "What?" Where did that come from? "I asked you because you're my friend."

"We aren't friends Blaine. We never were friends. Being someone's friend is not a one way street. How do you expect me to help you study for a Calc test when you wouldn't let anyone help you last night?" I felt my jaw plummet. I'm sure if it could have, it would have gone down to the floor. Tina noticed the surprise on my face. "Everyone knows Blaine. After your argument with Sam this morning, he told everyone what a horrible friend you are. Some people can barely stand being in the same room as you anymore. If people don't show up to Glee Club today, its your fault." She turned around and I just sat there completely lost.

I didn't think about this. I didn't think that Sam would get so hurt by me not talking to him that he would tell everyone and they would hate me. This was worse than opening up to him at all. There was already enough guilt about Kurt going through my head, now I have to add Sam and the rest of New Directions in there? I can't do this anymore. "Fine." I ran over to the door. "I don't want New Directions to suffer just because I'm a horrible person. I'll leave so the rest of you can rehearse without me."

I slammed the door behind me and walked up the stairs. It was time to end this once and for all. Nobody else was in the school except Glee club, and they were all downstairs. I tried finding a classroom that was left unlocked. Finally I did, there was a janitor's cart inside of it but no janitor in sight. I wouldn't take long anyway. I walked over to the window, opened it as far as it could go and stood there, feeling the cold breeze against my skin.

This is it. I have nothing anymore. No reason to live, every reason to die. I have no friends, a disjointed family, and a curse that I carry with me everywhere that I go. No more. I felt my foot moving off the ledge and then before I knew it, I was falling from the third story window towards the pavement.

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I immediately sat straight up. It was a dream. It was all a dream. I grabbed my phone, the message to Sam was still there. I looked at the time, 2:48 A.M. Sam was probably asleep, but I couldn't let my dream become a reality. I hit the send button, laid my head back down and waited.


	4. Texts From Last Night

**AN: So this chapter is going to be a little different. Its the text conversation between Sam and Blaine. So this chapter is _almost_ completely dialogue. Hope you enjoy it! And also, thanks for the positive reviews so far. As someone who always had an interest in writing but never really had the time or patience to actually put things together, it really means a lot. Thanks!**

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**Blaine: **Hey. Sam, I'm sorry for freaking out like I did today. I just wasn't ready to see Kurt tonight and my brain went like, seventy different directions and well, I guess I just had a moment of weakness. Thank you for saving me from myself.

As I sent the text, I knew Sam had likely already fallen asleep as I had. But after that dream, I just couldn't risk not saying something. Even if I couldn't open up, he needed to know that I still appreciated him helping me in my hour of need. The minutes ticked by and I started to doze off again, when I felt my phone vibrate.

**Sam: **Took you long enough. :P It was no big deal man. You would have done the same thing for anybody else.

**Blaine: **Yea, sorry about that man. I kinda dozed off once my head hit the pillow. But I had a really fucked up dream that woke me up.

**Sam: **Oh? What kind of dream? Maybe I can analyze it for you being the stellar psychology student that I am. xD

**Blaine: **I don't think a D+ makes you a stellar student dude.

**Sam: **Hey! Shut up! Anyway, how bad was this dream that it woke you up?

**Blaine: **Well, I had dreamed that I didn't text you tonight.

**Sam:** And?

**Blaine: **Everyone hated me. You, Tina, everyone in New Directions. Hardly anyone showed up to rehearsal because I treated you like shit. So I walked out because I didn't want the team to suffer. I went up to the third floor and jumped out of the window in Mr. Perrin's room. Then I woke up. It seemed so real...

I waited for Sam to reply. It felt like it was taking forever.

**Sam: **So I guess this isn't the first time you've had a dream about suicide?

**Blaine: **Not by a long shot.

**Sam: **Talk to me Blaine. What happened?

**Blaine: **I was abused as a child. My father had a drinking problem and took his drunken anger out on me. My mother tried to stop him, but he only got angrier. That was when the dreams started.

**Sam: **Oh my gosh Blaine... I'm so sorry. I had no idea.

**Blaine: **Its because I didn't want you to. That wasn't the end of it though. A few years after he sobered up, I came out to my family. My dad blamed himself and started drinking again. Whenever he was drunk, he beat me trying to get the gay out of me. Then he attacked my mom because he said it was her fault.

**Sam: **Blaine, nobody should ever have to go through that. I am so sorry.

**Blaine: **I thought it was because I was gay, so I tried to hide it. After my mom let me go to Dalton, I dated several girls from our sister school. I never felt a connection though, so I was break hearts left and right. I couldn't handle the guilt anymore, so I sank deep into depression. At least, until Kurt showed up.

**Sam: **What do you mean?

**Blaine: **When Kurt showed up, I saw myself when I was younger. Someone alone, afraid, and on the verge of suicide. I couldn't let him see me be weak, I had to show him that things got better, even if they didn't for me. We connected and I kissed him. At that point, I knew I loved him more than anything.

**Sam:** Were you in love with him Blaine?

**Blaine: **Didn't I just say that? Of course I loved him.

**Sam: **No. Were you IN love with him? Was he always on your mind? Did you feel like you could tell him everything?

I felt myself hesitate. I didn't tel Kurt anything. As far as he and anybody else knew, my family supported me throughout my life. Sam was the first person that I was telling all of this to.

**Blaine: **Just because I couldn't tell him everything doesn't mean that I wasn't in love with him. I mean, you're the first person at McKinley that I told about my dad and I'm not in love with you.

**Sam: **Well, I think you being able to tell me about your past shows a lot about how you felt about Kurt, since you couldn't tell him.

**Blaine: **I see your point...

I glanced over at the clock, it was 4:15 AM. It was Saturday, which meant the last performance of Grease. I needed to get some rest.

**Blaine: **Sam, I've gotta get some sleep. Thanks again for this. I think it helped a little bit.

**Sam: **No problem man. And just remember that whenever you need someone to talk to, my phone will always be on. Just like you would be for me.

**Blaine: **I know Sam. Thank you.

**Sam: **Get some sleep man, you need it after today. I'll talk to you soon.

**Blaine: **Good night Sam. I love you.

Before I could realize what I had done, I'd already hit send and the message went through. I turned my phone off, shoved it under my pillow, and tried to sleep.


	5. Relief

**AN: This was a really fun chapter to write. I want to thank everyone that has reviewed, viewed, favorited, and followed the story so far. I really want to thank shanehardy for the advice and support. If you aren't reading his story, go do it when your done with this chapter. Its fantastic in every sense. Hope you enjoy Chapter 5!**

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If it hadn't been for the fact that I was completely exhausted in every sense of the word, I never would have fallen asleep. I mean, I told Sam I loved him last night... The only people I ever said that to was my mom and Kurt, and I always meant it. But, that doesn't mean I meant it last night. I was really tired last night...

I woke up around 12:30 with a massive headache. My phone was sitting on the end table and I couldn't bring myself to turn it on just yet. What if Sam texted back last night... What if I weirded him out, I mean, he is straight and a guy just said that he loved him... Hopefully he just took it as that love that two brothers had. That's it. I loved him like a brother. Cooper was never really in my life because he was always busy and when our parents starting fighting, he flew out to LA to "pursue an acting career." I'm pretty sure it was just him trying to escape the family. He left me alone and I resented him for it for so long, but when he came back to Lima a couple weeks ago, we somehow managed to patch things back up and I was glad to have him back in my life.

I got up and hopped in the shower. The hot water running down my body felt really nice and helped to calm me down. I closed my eyes and tried to make all of my troubles just wash away. Getting everything out last night Sam definitely made me feel better, but I wasn't sure how he was going to start acting around me now. The last thing that I wanted was someone to feel sorry for me. I avoided that for years of my life and I didn't want that to start now. I was still Blaine Anderson, nothing was different.

I took my time in the shower, making sure that my whole body was clean. Ms. Pillsbury would have been proud of the lengths I go through in the shower. Scrubbing all over my body with a loofah, using my hand on the more delicate places. She probably wouldn't have been too fond of the masturbating though. With all of the stress lately though, I had to find some way to calm down.

I let my left hand roam across my body while my right hand gently stroked my dick. I might not have been the sexiest person alive, damn that Channing Tatum, but I still very much enjoyed my own body. Defined muscles, but not overly defined. A little bit of hair in all the right places. The hot water running down me raised my body temperature and I could feel my balls dangling more than usual. As I stroked my dick, they bounced around and it felt so great. I started to finger my ass to add to the pleasure. One finger, two fingers, eventually three fingers found their way into my tight asshole. I never got to bottom with Kurt, he was too worried about having to clean his junk to put it in my ass. After a few minutes, I finally came in the shower. I cleaned the cum off the wall, finished washing my hair and turned the water off.

I stepped out, grabbed my towel and started drying off. I wrapped the towel around my waste and walked into my room. Without thinking, I grabbed my phone and turned it on. I walked over to my dresser and started to gel my hair. Just when I got the gel in my hair, I looked at my phone and saw that I had a message from Sam. I dried off my hand and tapped the "View Message" button. It must have been from last night because all that was there was a smile and "Night bro."

Phew, guess Sam didn't freak out or take it weird. Huge weight off my shoulders. Tonight was the final show of Grease, and afterwards was the cast party in the McKinley gym. It was a McKinley tradition that all of the seniors ended up staying locked into the school all night, so I knew that I would have to bring some comfortable clothes. I walked into my closet, put on a dark blue polo and a yellow bow-tie. To sleep in, I grabbed a pair of gray sweatpants and a white tanktop. I could probably just pull a sweatshirt on tomorrow morning if its cold and drive home, shower, and change. I already had a sleeping bag in my car from the various nights that I slept over at Kurt's, so I wouldn't have to worry about that.

I threw my clothes into a drawstring bag and took them out to my car. On the way back inside, I heard a car horn behind me. I turned around and saw Sam and Ryder in a black truck.

Sam shouted out the window, "Blaine! You wanna go grab a bite to eat?" Had it just been Sam, I would have jumped at the chance. However, I wasn't sure how I felt about Ryder going with. I didn't really know him at all outside of Glee club and musical and I was worried that Sam or I would let something slip about our conversation last night and that would get him involved. The fewer people that knew about it, the better.

"Uh, sure Sam. Let me just go put shoes on." I was surprised that the words just came out of my mouth. I guess it was my brain's way of telling me to try opening up to more people. Might as well give it a shot.

I ran inside, threw socks and shoes on and walked back out to Sam's truck. "Would it be easier if I just took my car, that way when we are done eating, we can just head right to the school and we don't have to worry about coming back here?" I had two reasons for asking Sam this. Yes, it would save time, but I also noticed that Sam's truck only comfortably sat two people. I knew that if I went, someone would be stuck sitting in the middle and since I was the smallest, it was probably going to be me.

"Why don't you just throw your stuff in the back and we can all just take my truck. Gotta start protecting the planet and whatnot." I thought about arguing, but I didn't want to make Ryder feel uncomfortable.

Sam got out of his truck and helped me move my sleeping bag and clothes into his truck. He ushered me inside his truck the way a man would typically do for his wife or girlfriend. "Such a gentleman!" I teased him. I piled in next to Ryder and then Sam got in last and somehow we managed to squeeze us all in there. It was pretty uncomfortable, but none of seemed to be claustrophobic, which was a relief. I could move my arms just enough to scratch an itch on the side of of neck, but as I brought my hand back down, I accidentally put it on Sam's leg instead of my own.

I quickly realized what I had done and moved my hand back to my own leg, but Sam had noticed. "Hey buddy, trying to cop a feel?" he smirked.

Ryder sat there laughing to himself and I could feel my face blushing. "Sorry! I didn't mean to! Its just so cramped in here, I guess I thought I had more room than I actually did."

"Hey, its no big deal man. If I were you, I wouldn't be able to resist me either," Sam declared. I scoffed, but in a way, Sam was right. He was a very attractive guy. Broad shoulders, beautiful eyes, and from what I could see in the bulge in his underwear in the changing room, a pretty big dick. But that didn't mean that I liked him the way I liked Kurt.

Did it?


	6. Lunch and a Show

**AN: Surprisingly, this chapter was a breeze to write. I was expecting it to be tough because it had pretty much focused on Blaine and Sam for the first few chapters, but it wasn't that bad starting to bring in the other characters. Of course, this is still a Blaine POV story, so there's not going to be a LOT of interaction with the other characters, only ones involving Blaine. Enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

The entire ride over to Breadstix, I couldn't stop thinking about how dumb I was putting my hand on Sam's leg like that. Luckily, it was only a few blocks from my house and a few blocks from the school, so I wouldn't have to worry about being in the car for too long today. For some reason, the parking lot was particularly full, so Sam had to drive around the building two or three times until we were finally able to find a parking space. We got out of the truck, walked into Breadstix and were immediately sat in a booth. The two of them were obvious already close, and I didn't want to sit next to Sam because of what happened on the way there, so I volunteered to sit alone. Plus, it let me look at Ryder while we talked.

Turns out that Ryder had actually been born in Colorado and moved to Ohio when he was 10. His father worked for a company that offered him a promotion and a raise if he was willing to relocate to Lima. He jumped at the opportunity, either though Ryder was upset about having to leave all of his friends behind and make new ones. Ryder knew he was going to have to adapt, but he did pretty well the first few years. High school hit him hard though, his dyslexia certainly wasn't helping him in any way and his grades began to plummet drastically.

Our food arrived as Ryder continued his story. "Music was the one thing that always made me feel better though. I never had a problem keeping words in the right order when they had a beat and a tune to them. I tried to use that to help me study, but it didn't help much. After a while, I got tired of going home and studying all day, so I tried out for the football and made it. I figured it would be a great way to make friends and hopefully their smarts would rub off on me. Turns out, it only made matters worse, but I was terrified about what would happen if I had quit the team, so I just sucked it up and kept playing. Then Sam found me in the showers one day and tried to get me to join Glee club, and well, here we are."

It turned out Ryder's story was actually quite similar to Sam's, just without the whole stripping thing which was still a big mystery that I had no intention of ever solving. The conversation between the three of us stayed pretty light until Ryder asked me about how I ended up at McKinley. All he knew was that I had dated Kurt and that was why I came to McKinley. He knew about the breakup, but knew nothing about anything else that had happened before or after that. I intended to keep it that way.

"Well, I went to Dalton because it was a great school and my brother had went there, so my family got like, a discount on tuition. Kurt transferred there and we fell in love. After he moved back to McKinley to be with his friends, it just felt so empty at Dalton, so I asked my mom if I could go to McKinley because I wanted to be with Kurt. She understood, got all the paperwork filled out before the start of last year, and that was that. I wouldn't take any of it back because it was the happiest I had ever been." All of it was completely true, I just left out the whole abusive father, wanting to get out of the house and away from the fighting thing. But this wasn't the time and place to talk about it.

Before we knew it, we had all finished our meals, paid, and were ready to finish Grease off with a bang. There was nothing there to throw me off tonight, so I was ready for the final curtain call. As we got back into Sam's truck, I felt a little bit more comfortable sitting next to Ryder. I felt like I was almost sitting between two clones. Sam and Ryder both had a similar look, and a very similar story growing up. It was hard to keep myself from getting too excited. I still felt awkward about the whole thing with Sam though. I knew I shouldn't have been thinking about it as much as I was. I always thought that Sam was attractive, anyone would have.

Sam turned on the radio and popped in a CD. I just barely caught it, but it was Kelly Clarkson's _Stronger._ I saw him hit the Skip Track button a few times until he found the right song. I heard the little music box opening and knew immediately what it was. I felt my heart race a little bit faster and knew why Sam had picked this song. _Dark Side._

The three of us sang together all the way to McKinley and I kept sneaking glances at Sam in his mirrors, trying to figure him out. By the time the song had ended, we were at the school and parked. We had plenty of time to spare, so we just chilled out in the truck and waited for everyone else to show up. A few people were already there, so Ryder left Sam and I alone. I moved away from Sam a little bit and just looked at him.

"I know you picked that song for a reason Sam." I stated bluntly.

"Heh, good. I just wanted to let you know that even with your dark side, I'll still always consider you my best friend. And no matter what happens, you know that you can always come and talk to me about anything."

I couldn't help but smile and give him a hug. "Thank you Sam, that really means a lot to me."

"I would do anything for you bro." He pulled away from the hug. "Now let's go, one more show and its going to be the best one yet." He opened the door and got out of the truck and I followed suit. The next two hours were a blur. Makeup, hair, warmups, and the final pre-show pep talk. For the seniors, it was their last show at McKinley, for everyone else, it was the first of many last shows. Everyone was healthy, excited, and prepared.

* * *

Everything went off without a hitch. No unexpected surprises, everyone nailed their dances and songs. The last show could not have gone better. As everyone took their bows, the seniors stepped forward for one final bow. I ended up in the middle of the group, flanked by Sam and Tina. Artie wheeled himself onto the stage as the director. We grabbed hands and took our final bow with tears in our eyes and smiles on our faces. The curtain closed and every celebrated behind it. I turned to Sam and gave him a big hug.

"Thank you so much for everything Sam. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here sharing this moment with everyone." At the moment, Sam's hold on me tightened a little bit. We stood there embracing for what seemed like hours. I had never felt happier than I did in that moment. Holding Sam, knowing that he cared for me more than anyone else had. Sam's strong arms wrapped around my body made me feel safe and I never wanted him to let go.

I wanted Sam to hold me forever. I wanted Sam to always be there when I needed him. I wanted Sam to tell me that no matter what, I always had a friend.

I wanted Sam.


	7. Party All Night Long

**AN: This chapter was a little tough for me to write. This was the point where I have to stop drawing from personal experiences so much, and just let the story go in its own direction. Nonetheless, I'm still having a blast writing this and every time I see I have a new favorite or a follower, I just want to keep writing. Thank you all for making this part of my daily routine now!**

* * *

It was still hard to believe that it was all over now. Grease was done, which meant that there wasn't much left to go of senior year. Time was going by so fast and I was afraid that I was going to miss something. Tonight was my night though. I was determined to have as much fun as possible. After yesterday, I really did need it, and being able to let loose with the rest of the Glee club was exactly what I needed to do.

McKinley cast parties have several time honored traditions. We all unwind and pig out, and then the seniors all give little speeches about how much Glee has changed them over the years. Last year was my first one and it was really sentimental and stuff and people cried and it really brought everyone back together. Afterwards, hours of dancing, partying, and goofing around. At about 1AM, everyone except the seniors would leave and those seniors would spend the night in the school doing whatever it is they want to do.

This year, there would only be five seniors though. Myself, Sam, Brittany again, Tina, and Artie were the only Glee club seniors left at McKinley and this was our chance to go out with a bang. The five of us all sat together at a table with Mr. Schue and Finn since they both helped direct the show. Eventually, it was time for us to all give our speeches, Sam volunteered to go first.

"Well guys, after weeks of rehearsing, we managed to get here. None of us would be here if it weren't for each other and I just wanted to thank everyone for making Glee club my second home. A lot of you know that I went through a rough time over the past few years, but you guys helped me get through it all." Sam looked at me as he spoke. I could tell this was his way of telling me that everyone else in Glee would support me the way that they supported him. "I have made some of the greatest friends ever thanks to Glee and have learned a lot about myself. I learned that the world isn't all black and white and that everyone is their own unique shade of gray. Glee club celebrates that and will always be a part of my life. Thank you guys for a great start to the year, and let's finish off strong!" Sam puts the microphone down as the room burst into applause. He was right, everyone was unique and that's what made Glee so great. People with all these different stories could come together and support one another.

As Sam sat down, Tina walked up and took the microphone. "When I walked into McKinley my freshman year, I was the scary goth girl with a bad attitude. Underneath that was the girl that you see before you today. A girl with a passion and a love for music. Glee broke down that wall that I put on when I started high school and showed me that walls don't make you stronger, they make you weaker. If I can pass on one piece of advice to everyone in this room, its to be yourself. Like Sam said, everyone is unique and when you embrace that, other people will start to and that's when you will finally find happiness. My fellow seniors, you guys better keep in touch after high school because I couldn't think of a tighter group of people. Thank you all!" Tina concluded with a smile and walked shyly back to her seat as everyone applauded.

Excited murmurs rang through the room as it was Artie's turn to deliver his speech. "Glee club was the first activity I've ever done where I wasn't discriminated against for being in a wheelchair. Of course, I couldn't do all of the dance routines that looked like so much fun, but Mr. Schuester and I worked together to put my own spin on them so that I could feel included. That is what is so great about Glee. Whether you are black, white, gay, straight, in a wheelchair or have three legs," The room started to laugh at the thought of someone having three legs trying to dance. "you are loved and accepted not because of what people see, but by what is on the inside. I couldn't have said it any better than Tina did, be yourself and your life will be so much better. Thank you guys for an amazing high school experience and I look forward to seeing you guys in the years to come."

Artie concluded and I started to get a little emotional. All three of them made me realize that if I told everyone my past, then everything would be okay and I would be happier. I was about to walk up and lay everything on the line, but Brittany got up first. "Well, I already did one of these last year, but I guess I'll do it again. Um, Glee is cool. Without it, I wouldn't have gotten as close to Santana as I did and I wouldn't have met such awesome people. Mr. Schue, thank you for showing how much fun dancing is even if its to one of your lame rap songs." Everyone started laughing, even Mr. Schuester. I could feel my legs shaking as I knew Brittany was almost done and it would be my turn. "I just want to keep having fun with you guys this year, so let's do it!" Brittany put down the microphone and skipped back to her seat as everyone applauded.

I didn't get up right away. For some reason my legs just didn't want to work, but I could feel everyone staring at me. I used Sam's shoulder to help me stand up and instantly wanted to just fall over. I managed to get my way over to the microphone and with a deep breath, I began.

"First off, I just want to say thank you to everyone for helping make this show amazing to put on. I couldn't have asked for a better group of people to surround myself with for my last year here at McKinley. The four seniors before me all said that Glee allowed them to open up. However, this wasn't the case for me. If anything, Glee helped me hide from my past. I found comfort in music that I hadn't had as a child. A lot of you might think you know me, but you don't. And starting now, I promise that I will try to be more open." I looked at Sam and smiled. He gave me an encouraging nod and I knew that I had to do this.

As I started my story, I could tell that everyone in the room was looking right at me which only made me ever more nervous. "I was abused as a child." I wasn't expecting to start it off so bluntly, and I could see the jaws dropping. "It continued all the way up until I started at Dalton in the 9th grade. Even after that, I was an outcast. For years I cried myself to sleep every night and was afraid every morning." I could hear some sniffling around the room and knew that it wasn't too long before I would start getting emotional. "I found comfort in the Warblers. They helped me forget about my life for a little bit, but eventually I would fall back into my state of depression. That was, until I met Kurt. Kurt was different from anyone else I had met. He made me forget everything. He reminded me what it felt like to be happy again." There were various "aww's" and more sniffling from everyone. This was going to be the hard part.

"But then I made a mistake and broke his heart as you all know. What you don't know is that when he showed up last night, I saw him and I was a wreck afterwards. I begged Sam to try and find someone else to go on stage for _Beauty School Dropout _but it had to be me. I went out and did it, and afterwards, I ran backstage and hid. I found a janitor's closet it and attempted to kill myself." I heard people gasp and wanted to break down, but I had to keep strong so I could finish the story. "I thought I did, but luckily, my best friend saved me. Sam, I still cannot thank you enough for that moment. And for all of the moments since then. You are the nicest person that I have ever met, and this is all because of you. Like I said to you on stage, if it were not for you, I would not be sharing this moment with everyone. Thank you so much. I love you."

Did I just say that out loud? It was one thing when I texted it, but after my realization after the show that Sam was what I wanted, no, what I needed, it felt different. Before I knew it, Sam ran up to me and hugged me. He whispered in my ear, "I love you too man" and pulled me in tighter. I could feel everyone's stares and I pulled away from Sam. I took a deep breath, put a smile on my face, and continued

"Now, that's my past and that's where its going to stay. Let's party!" The room exploded in applause, cheers, and tears. It felt great to have finally gotten everything off of my chest. I was ready to have a good time and I wanted to have it with Sam. I pulled him in for one more hug and kissed him on the cheek when nobody was looking. "Let's go dance!"

* * *

The party flew by. Before we all knew it, it was almost time for the underclassmen and faculty to leave and the seniors would begin their epic sleep over inside the halls of McKinley. The deejay we hired began to play _That's What Friends are For," _another McKinley tradition. Myself and the other four seniors worked our way up to the top of the little set of steps and prepared for the final tradition of the night.

**TINA**  
And I never thought I'd feel this way  
And as far as I'm concerned  
I'm glad I got the chance to say  
That I do believe, I love you

**ARTIE  
**And if I should ever go away  
Well, then close your eyes and try  
To feel the way we do today  
And then if you can remember**  
**

**BLAINE/TINA  
**Keep smiling, keep shining  
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure  
That's what friends are for

**BRITTANY/ARTIE  
**For good times and bad times  
I'll be on your side forever more  
That's what friends are for

**BLAINE  
**Well, you came in loving me  
And now there's so much more I see  
And so by the way  
I thank you

**SAM  
**Oh and then for the times when we're apart  
Well, then close your eyes and know  
The words are coming from my heart  
And then if you can remember

**SAM/BRITTANY**  
Keep smiling and keep shining  
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure  
That's what friends are for

**BLAINE/ARTIE**  
In good times and bad times  
I'll be on your side forever more  
That's what friends are for

**TINA/BRITTANY**  
Keep smiling, keep shining  
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure  
That's what friends are for

**BLAINE/SAM/ARTIE**  
For good times and bad times  
I'll be on your side forever more  
That's what friends are for

**ALL FIVE**  
Keep smiling, keep shining  
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure'  
Cause I tell you, that's what friends are for  
Whoa, good times and the bad times  
I'll be on your side forever more  
That's what friends are for

As I looked around the room, everyone was completely in tears. I looked at my fellow seniors, and they were also in tears. Even Sam. I wasn't used to seeing him cry. He always seemed so strong and stabled, but right now, all of his walls were down. As everyone started to gather their things, I found myself alone at the top of the steps with Tina.

"Tina, can I tell you something?" I turned to her. "You have to promise me not to say anything, but I wanted to confide in someone before I did anything."

Tina looked at me with very endearing eyes. "Of course Blaine. My lips are sealed."

I took a deep breath in and softly spoke the words I couldn't bring myself to say over the past day. "I think I'm in love with Sam."

Her jaw dropped and gave me a big hug. "Blaine, that's great! Have you told him yet?"

"Of course not Tina! Well, I did let it slip last night when we were texting, but I didn't mean it like that. And he didn't take it like that either. But after today and just hanging out with him all day, I feel like maybe I did mean it. Like unconsciously or whatever."

"Well you're going to have to tell him at some point. There's nothing worse than holding your feelings inside. And Sam is a really nice guy and he let it hurt your friendship if he doesn't feel the same way. But you have to take a chance. If you ask me, Sam might be into guys. From what Mike told me last year, he always was sneaking peeks at the other guys after football practices."

I couldn't believe the words that just came out of Tina's mouth. She was right that I would have to tell Sam at some point, but the chance that he might also like guys? I scanned the crowd trying to find him and I finally did. He was talking to Ryder and Marley, likely commended them on their amazing jobs as the leads even though the two are just starting out in Glee club. They admired him so much, just like his own siblings did. He looked over and caught my eye and flashed me a little smile. A million butterflies exploded in my stomach and Tina put her hand on my shoulder.

"You really do like him, don't ya?"

"I really do Tina... its weird. Yesterday, he was just a friend. But now, after everything that happened and how he promised to always protect me, it just made me fall fast." Before Tina had the chance to respond, Mr. Schuester tapped the microphone and everyone got quiet.

"Alright everyone!" Mr. Schuester shouted over all of the chatter. "Time to leave the seniors here for the night. Have fun guys, and don't break anything! It comes out of my paycheck if you do!" Everyone laughed and eventually, they all made their ways out the door. Ryder said that he was getting a ride from Jake and his mom so Sam wouldn't have to worry about missing anything. Soon enough, the five of us were the only ones left in the building.

I had all night to find out if what Tina said was true, but that would require getting Sam alone, which probably wouldn't be the easiest thing to do...


	8. Party Until the Sun Wakes Up

**AN: I hope you are all enjoying your holidays! This chapter's a good one, but don't worry, there's plenty more to come. Enjoy!**

* * *

After everyone left, the five of us left in the building all went into the gym and got ready for our own party. We all had sleeping bags, but we didn't really expect to end up using them. Nobody ever fell asleep at these things, and if they did, they woke up the next morning with their face covered in permanent marker that would take forever to completely clean off. That happened to Rachel last year and she refused to come out of her bathroom for like three days until she was sure it was all gone. She even missed school because Santana wrote some pretty harsh things on her.

"I can't believe that this year has been going by so fast. It seems like it was just yesterday when everyone else was getting ready to graduate." Tina stated. Everyone agreed, but we were all excited to venture out into the world outside of Lima. She put her arm around my shoulder and said, "I hope we all keep in touch and who knows, maybe we will all end up in the same place again one day."

We were all touched, but Tina's little speech definitely brought down the mood. "Come on Tina, this is supposed to be a party. Let's not get all sentimental and shit." Artie's words surprised everyone a little bit. "We still have plenty of time left this year to enjoy each other's company so let's not act like this is the last time we will ever all be together."

"Artie has a point guys. Let's have some fun while we are here. I know what to do, let's play a game. Let's turn off all the lights in the school and play a good old game of manhunt. We can use our phones as flashlights, it'll be so cool!" Sam's idea sounded like a lot of fun. Brittany didn't understand the rules at all. "Britt, its basically like hide and seek, except you don't really hide in one place. You can move around and stuff. Once you get found, you have to come back to the gym and you have to stay there until everyone's been found. The last person to be found and captured gets to be the next finder."

Artie volunteered to be the first finder and Sam, Tina, and Brittany all went running through the school to find somewhere to hide. I knew exactly where I wanted to go, backstage. It was pitch black when all the lights were turned off, and with all the partially built sets, there were some awesome places to hide back there. I made my way back there and hid underneath the car we used for _Greased Lightning_. I turned my phone's flashlight off and laid still and listened for someone coming. Artie had an advantage being on wheels, so we wouldn't be able to hear him coming very well.

I was probably there for a good 10 minutes until I heard footsteps. I peeked out to see who was there and it was Tina. She must have seen me move because she screamed and quickly covered her mouth. "BLAINE! You scared the fuck out of me! Great hiding spot though."

I crawled out from under the car and glared at her. "I know, but I'm gonna have to find a new spot. If Artie hear you, he will be here in seconds. Do you know if he found anyone else yet?"

"I saw him find Brittany. She tried to follow me and hide with me. I hid in one of the classroom closets and she just laid down on the teacher's desk. Artie didn't bother checking the rest of the room, but it was so creepy in there. It must have been the anatomy lab because I was stuck in that closet with a skeleton. I came down here thinking he'd already gone through here, guess not."

"Do you know where Sam is?" I was genuinely curious.

"So you can tell him!?" Tina instantly assumed.

"No! I just don't want to hide where he's hiding and then Artie can find us both easier." Tina shot me one of those skeptical looks and just shrugged her shoulder, clearly not knowing. Then we heard it. Squeaking. Artie's wheelchair. Tina managed to get under the car before I could and I was just standing there in the open. I found a door and opened it up. A closet, perfect. I ducked inside and gently closed the door behind me. Something about the closet seemed oddly familiar, and then I felt something brush up against my shoulder.

I turned around and there was a rope hanging from the ceiling. It was the janitor's closet that I tried to kill myself in last night. I suddenly had flashbacks to that night and heard myself cry out. The door opened and it was Artie, he found me. "Gotcha Anderson! Back to the gym with you!" I couldn't get out of there faster if I tried. I was the second one out as Brittany was the only one in the gym. She was thrilled to finally have a friend with her, but it didn't last long as Tina came sulking in right after me.

"Dammit Blaine, you screaming made me scream and Artie found me too. I guess Sam won!" Tina's comment made me turn red. I was just glad she didn't ask why I screamed. The three of us sat in the gym and after like, half an hour, Artie finally came back with Sam.

"This kid is brilliant. He holed up in Beiste's office." Coach Beiste's office was inside the girl's locker room which was normally off limits to guys, but since we were the only ones in the school, it wasn't a big deal. "Wouldn't have ever found him if he hadn't sneezed as I was rolling by." Sam had a big grin on his face because he knew he was the last one to be found.

We continued to play for a few more rounds with Sam searching, then Tina, Artie, Sam again, and finally it was my turn to find everyone. I waited two minutes to give everyone enough time to hide and walked out of the gym. I almost screamed when I saw Sam just standing there.

"Shh. I know where they all went, but I wanted to spend some time alone with you, make sure you were okay and everything." Sam was illuminated by his phone and still managed to look gorgeous. He certainly wasn't making tonight any easier wearing a tight black v-neck that came down to just the right spot.

"Yea, I'm fine. I freaked out earlier when we hid the first time because I ended up back in that janitor's closet, but I've calmed down now. Thanks for your concern. Now where are the others, I wanna let Brittany win this round so she doesn't feel like a loser."

Sam chuckled a little bit. "Artie's in Sue's office, Tina is hiding in the balcony and Brittany is standing behind the lamp in the choir room." I could see him rolling his eyes at the last one and I couldn't help but laugh. "I'll go with you if you want."

"It would be nice to have some company." Sam and I walked together around the school, picking up the last three. We grabbed Tina first, then Artie and finally we went to get Brittany. She was thrilled that she finally won claiming that we all were cheating the first few rounds. We all laughed and went back into the gym.

"Blaine, why don't you come with me so we can turn some of these lights back on?" Sam asked. Of course, I jumped at the chance and saw Tina smirking. I shot her a look and she winked at me. We walked backstage to where the light switches were, but Sam walked onto the stage. "Blaine, come here."

I had no idea what was going on. I walked around the curtain and Sam was sitting on the edge of the stage with his guitar. "What's up?" I questioned, knowing exactly what was about to happen.

"Blaine, we've been there for each other a lot in the past, and I just wanted to thank you for that. I really am sorry about everything that you have been through and I want to thank you for opening up to me. If you don't mind, I could use some help with a song I've been working on. And I think its perfect for our friendship." He begins gently strumming on the guitar we start to sing.

**SAM  
**Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor  
Reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore  
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind  
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now  
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now  
And I don't know how I can do without  
I just need you now**  
**

**BLAINE  
**Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door  
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before  
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind  
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now  
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now  
And I don't know how I can do without  
I just need you now

**SAM  
**Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all  
It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now

**BLAINE  
**And I said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now**  
**

**SAM/BLAINE**  
And I don't know how I can do without  
I just need you now  
I just need you now  
Ooo, baby, I need you now

As the song finished, Sam wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "Blaine, no matter what, I will always be here for you. If you ever need anything, just give me a call. I'll drop whatever I'm doing and talk to you."

"Thanks Sam. That really means a lot to me. And the same goes for you. You mean everything to me and I don't know what I would do without you." I pulled him in for a hug and he pulled me in closer. I felt safe in his arms and didn't want to let go. I had to tell him and take the risk. Tina was right, I couldn't just keep my emotions down. I pulled away slightly, keeping him in my arms, closed my eyes, and kissed him. It was everything you expect from kissing the perfect person. Fireworks going off in my head, my heart was pounding, and I just wanted to melt. I pulled away and opened my eyes and Sam looked like he'd just seen a ghost.

I really messed up this time...


	9. Rise and Shine!

**AN: Thank you all so much for the reviews and comments on the story so far. It really means a lot that people are enjoying it so much. I'm so glad I decided to start writing this, and its amazing how far its come in the span of like, two weeks. There is plenty more to come for Blaine and Sam, so enjoy!**

* * *

I didn't know what to say. I thought Sam and I had more of a connection. I guess not. I fumbled for the right words, but eventually they came out with tears not that far behind them. "Sam, I'm really sorry. Its just, I was told that you might be bisexual and I thought that since we've connected so much recently that I would take a chance. I'm so sorry Sam. I'm sorry." I got up and bolted out of the auditorium on the verge of tears. As I ran towards the gym, I found Tina as she was leaving the bathroom. She saw me and knew immediately that something was wrong.

"Blaine, what's wrong? Did something happen to Sam? Did something happen to you?"

"Tina. I kissed him." The words flew out of my mouth before I had the chance to stop them. Tina's eyes got wide and her jaw dropped. "I thought it was perfect. We sang together and it sounded to me like he felt the same way that I did. So I just kissed him. But clearly what I thought was true wasn't and I guess I freaked him out. He had this look like he'd seen a ghost or something and I knew I made a mistake. I'm so stupid Tina, I knew this was going to happen. I warned Sam that everyone I open up to ends up hating me because of something I do. I won't be surprised if by tomorrow you're mad at me too."

"Blaine will you calm down? Look, just because you kissed him and he looked spooked doesn't mean its the end of the world. You probably just took him by surprise and he didn't know what to say. Come on, let's go back into the gym and relax. You need to calm down." And we did just that. After some deep breaths, I felt calm enough that I wouldn't start crying in front of everyone. That is, until Sam walked into the room.

There he was, still beautiful as ever. He looked as good as he ever did, not like some freak had just planted a fat kiss on his lips that he wasn't ready for. He walked over to the rest of us and sat down across from me. I wanted to get up and run, but Tina kept her hand on my shoulder, pushing me towards the floor. I diverted my eyes, not wanting to look at the boy. I couldn't bring myself to even think about him. Artie was saying something about how the two girls almost started making out but Tina wimped out or something. I wasn't paying attention, my mind was too busy worrying about Sam.

I totally forgot that he was my ride here. I'd have to spend five long minutes with him in the car while he took me home. I knew it wasn't a good idea and everything that just happened confirmed it. I was a complete loser. I totally fell for Sam within the span of a day. Who does that? Someone desperate I guess. I never should have opened up to Sam. It would have been better off if I had just lost all of my friends. It would have been better off if I had just died last night.

"Guys, since we only have a little bit of time before the sun comes up, I have one last idea." Sam was talking and of course, like the loser in love that I was, my brain stopped thinking and my ears were focused on Sam. "Let's tell each other one thing that we've never told anybody else before. And whatever we say never leaves us. That way, there's no excuse to ever not be friends." It was a cute idea, but what was I going to say? That I was totally in love with Sam and that I kissed him and I ran away before he could say anything? That wouldn't end well for either of us. I was going to have to make something up.

We went around the circle and everyone had some really good secrets. "A few months after my accident, I was told that there was a surgery that I could get to regain feelings in my legs and that I could have been able to walk again." All of us were shocked by Artie's story. "There was like, an 80% chance that it would work perfectly, but I didn't agree to it. As much as I hate to admit it, I actually really enjoy being in this chair all the time. It makes me unique."

Brittany went next and revealed to everyone that right before graduation last year, she cheated on Santana with some girl from the Cheerios. Everybody was shocked and Brittany made everyone promise not to tell Santana. It was apparently just a one night thing, but Santana had no idea because she was celebrating her scholarship with her mom. "I don't want Santana to kill this girl because she'll go to jail and then I'll never get to see her again."

It was going to be hard to beat that, but Tina did. "After graduation this year, I'm going to propose to Mike." Brittany and I hugged her and Artie and Sam just sat there dumbfounded. "I didn't want him to propose to me, that's why I freaked out. Our relationship was already super typical. You know, the two Asians. I want to mix things up a little bit. I already have a ring picked out for him and he has no idea. Blaine, Brittany, I know how close you two are to him, but please don't even hint at it. I want it to be a complete surprise after graduation."

Another hug for Tina and it was my turn. "Kurt wasn't my first time." Not a total lie. Kurt was the first time I had sex, but he wasn't the first person that I'd slept with. "It was back at Dalton one night after a party and I got pretty drunk and made out with some guy I don't even remember. We left the party together and I woke up the next day in his bed wondering what had happened. He told me everything and I haven't spoken to him since. It was just too awkward seeing him." Everyone just looked at me. I shrugged my shoulders and smiled and the other four tried to make sense of what I'd just said. As long as they didn't question farther, I was golden.

"Wow. You guys all had really good ones." Sam started. "I'm not going to fluff mine up at all, I'm gay. After my relationship with Mercedes, I knew that girls just weren't for me. I'd always found guys attractive, but I just pushed all that away. But I slowly started to accept it and it wasn't until just recently that I was ready to start calling myself gay. You guys are the first ones that I've told and please, don't tell anyone else. I want to do that on my own terms."

Wait. Back up. Sam WAS gay? Tina was right? Does that change the kiss? Maybe he wasn't scared, maybe I did just catch him off guard? I didn't know what to say. Brittany gave Sam a big hug and told him that he was a thousand times cooler now that he was on "Team Gay". Tina was looking at me and I looked back at her wide-eyed. I looked over at Sam and he was looking down at the ground. I stood up, walked over to him, and held my hand out to him.

Sam looked up and smiled. He took it and I pulled him up. "Sam, I know I speak for all of us when I say that I don't think any less of you. Like you said, we all pride ourselves on being different. You're still Sam Evans and that's who we all love." Brittany and Tina stood up and Artie came into the group and we shared a group hug just as the sun was beginning to come up.

"You guys are the greatest. Thank you all so much for making this so much easier. I promise I won't make you guys keep the secret for long." Sam had tears in his eyes. It was a big decision for him to come out to us, but I could tell that it was like a weight lifted off of his shoulders. As we shared our hug, light began to peek into the school. "Well guys, I guess that's it. Let's get out of here, we all reek."

We all shared one final laugh together and we began cleaning up all of the trash we'd left from our night of fun. I couldn't take my eyes off of Sam the whole time. Seeing him so vulnerable and just putting himself out there like that. It just made me happy that he was able to open up to me like I was able to open up to him. I still wasn't sure what his reaction was to the kiss, but that is all part of the mystery that is Sam Evans.

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**Additional Note: Whoever can get me Chord Overstreet for my birthday will become my new best friend. You have 24 hours. May the odds be ever in my favor.**


	10. A Lazy Sunday

**AN: At this point, I'm finding it a little bit more difficult to write, so if chapters come a little bit slower, that is why. I've modeled Blaine's character after myself and what would be going through my head, but Sam is an enigma to me. It is definitely not easy to write for a character after you've changed a huge part of who they are. Don't fret, I'm still continuing on with the story. The next few chapters are going to be very interesting and I'm sure you'll all love them.**

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By the time we were all done cleaning, it was about 7:30 in the morning. Yesterday was one of the greatest I'd ever had. Within 36 hours I'd gone from wanting to kill myself to feeling closer to Artie, Tina, Brittany, and especially Sam, than I had ever before. Nobody was looking forward to going back to school the next day and we all just wanted to go home and crash even though it was going to be a beautiful day.

Sam's confession still had me a little shocked. I couldn't believe it, he's gay! I guess that made the kiss a little less awkward then, but I still wanted to know how he had felt about it. Since the two of us came in the same car the night before, that meant we'd have to leave together. We stayed behind until everyone left, Artie being the last one. We helped Artie get all of his things into his mom's van and soon enough he was off and it was Sam and I alone.

"Well buddy," Sam said as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder, "let's get out of here. I'm beat." We walked back to his truck and threw our stuff in the back. It was nice not having to be crammed in between Sam and Ryder, but part of me still wanted to sit close to Sam. Sam started the truck and I stared blankly out the window, the events of the past 36 hours playing back through my head. It was amazing how much had happened and I wouldn't have believed it myself unless it had happened to me. There I was, on the verge of death and now I'm sitting in a truck with a boy that literally saved my life and then some. He brought back the happiness to my life that disappeared after Kurt broke up with me. I looked over at Sam and he was in his own world, jamming out to the radio. I didn't recognize the song, but Sam looked so adorable tapping away on his steering wheel like he was playing miniature drums. Why had I never seen this part of him before? I guess sometimes tragedy, or in this case, near tragedy, really does bring people together.

Before I knew it, Sam was turning onto my street and pulling up in front of my house. We both got out of the truck and he helped me bring my stuff back into my house. He was such a gentleman, it was no wonder why everyone loved him. It was hard to find caring people nowadays, but here was one right in front of me.

"Hey Sam, thanks a lot for everything. I had a blast last night and feel a lot better after opening up. I promise I'll find a way to repay you."

"Blaine, you already have," he smirked. What did he mean by that? "Anyway, I've gotta get going, I feel so dirty and my hair is greasier than ever. I'll need like, a 25 minutes shower before I can feel clean again." I couldn't help but chuckle. Sam always seemed like the kind of guy that liked getting dirty, but I guess I was completely wrong. Then again, I'd been wrong about a lot of things with Sam clearly.

"Hey, listen. My mom is going to be out for a while today because of work. Why don't you come over and we can just chill out here all day. We can order food and just watch movies or something." I really wanted to spend more time with Sam, get to know him a little more. He already knew so much about me.

"That sounds great! Give me a little while to run home, shower and change into something a little more comfortable. I didn't expect it to be this warm today. I'll text you when I'm getting ready to leave my house."

We said good-bye and he turned around and walked back to his truck. I stood there in the open door watching him walk away. He carried himself with pride about finally coming out to us. He even looked cute from behind, his broad shoulders, muscular torso, and that butt. He got to the other side of his truck and waved at me, knocking me back into reality. I waved back and shut the door. Damn, he was beautiful. I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of the day with him and was more excited than ever before.

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Just as I finished re-gelling my hair after my shower, there was a knock at the door. My heart skipped a beat knowing that Sam was right on the other side of it. I couldn't wait to spend the entire day with him. I promised myself that I wouldn't try to kiss him again, I wouldn't even bring it up. Today was just going to be two friends hanging out and trying to relax after one really crazy weekend. It was exactly what we both needed.

I didn't want to make it seem like I was overly excited for Sam to show up, so I waited a few seconds before I went and opened the door. When I finally did, Sam was leaning against the railing wearing a gray tanktop and blue basketball shorts. I suddenly felt overdressed with my clean, white polo and signature bowtie. I guess I had been thinking that this was going to be a date when I got out of the shower. Nothing I could do about that now I guess. "Come on in Sam, make yourself at home." I gestured for Sam to walk inside and found myself staring at his muscular arms as he walked inside. Something told me that trying not to make a move on him was going to be a lot harder than I expected.

Sam followed me into the living room and we both sat down on the couch. I didn't want things to seem to awkward, so I waited for him to sit down and then I sat down at the other end so there was about a foot and a half of space between us. I just had to keep telling myself to look, but don't touch. We scrolled through a list of movies on Netflix, not being able to find one that we could both agree on. Eventually, we decided to just have a Harry Potter marathon, even though we'd both seen them all like fifty times. We ordered enough pizza to last us the entire day and as we were waiting for it, I could tell Sam was looking at me.

"Blaine, why do you always dress so nice? Every time I see you, you're always in a polo or a dress shirt. Do you ever just bum out?" I couldn't help but laugh at the question. He did have a point, nobody ever really did see me bumming out.

"Well yea, but my idea of bumming out is laying in bed all day naked. So if I bummed out on a regular basis, I'd probably get arrested for indecent exposure or something." Sam spat out some of his soda as he started laughing.

"Oh shit, I'll clean that up." Sam stood up and looked around the kitchen for paper towels. "Blaine where the hell do you guys hide the paper towels?"

"They are in the cabinet under the sink." Sure enough, Sam had found them and walked back into the living room with the entire roll. He laid a few pieces on the spill and patted it dry. Most of the soda didn't land on the carpet, but all over Sam's tanktop. It stuck to his body and I could see the lines between his abs. "I can throw that in the wash quick. Shouldn't take too long to get the soda out of it."

Sam didn't hesitate and in a matter of seconds his tanktop was off and he was throwing it at me. If I hadn't been admiring his physique, I would have caught it without a problem. But there was Sam, standing in my house, the upper half of his body exposed. What was I thinking offering to wash his shirt? I knew that that was what was going to be underneath and now its going to be a thousand times harder to not just touch him. "Thanks man." Sam plopped back down on the couch and leaned on the edge with his head resting on his fist. His bicep bulged in front of me and I immediately had to turn around because something of my own was beginning to bulge.

I ran down into the laundry room and threw Sam's shirt in with everything else that was already there. I guess mom wanted me to do some of this today but forgot to leave a note. Ah well. I turned the dials to the right settings and started up the washing machine. I saw a clean t-shirt sitting on the steps and decided that Sam probably wouldn't want to just sit in my house without a shirt on. As I walked back into the living, Sam wasn't on the couch. Instead, he was at the door, I guess our pizza finally showed up. I was surprised that he just answered it without having a shirt on. It was kinda hot that he was so comfortable with himself to do that. He turned around and pushed the door closed with his hip.

He looked at the shirt in my hand and asked "Is that for me?" He sat the pizza boxes down on the table and took the shirt from my hands. He unfolds it and looks at it. He smirked and threw it across the room. "I relax best when I'm not wearing a lot of clothes. If I didn't think it would make you feel uncomfortable, I'd drop my pants right now." I instantly felt the blood rushing to my cheeks at the thought of Sam standing stark naked in my house. I was surprised at how forward Sam was being. Would he have said the same thing a few days ago when we weren't as close as we are now? I could feel my cheeks turning redder as Sam walked over to me. "Blaine, you've gotta relax a little bit. Quit worrying about dressing so nice all the time. Its just you and me here, you don't have to play dress-up for me. Now go change into something else or else I'm really going to feel like a bum."

"Sam, are you feeling okay?" I asked him. This wasn't like the Sam I knew. Sam was being way too flirty. I mean, I know he did just come out and everything, but things were moving a little too fast. I mean, it was literally just a day and a half ago that he saved me from killing myself. I did really like Sam and everything, but slow and steady wins the race.

"I've never been better Blaine. I finally feel free and I want to enjoy that feeling before I have to worry about telling everybody else." He smirked and pushed me out of the room. "Now don't come back until you've changed." I stood there for a second not knowing exactly what to think. I wasn't sure if I liked the new Sam. He was being awfully demanding that I change. Maybe he was right though, I did need to loosen up a bit.

I walked up the stairs and into my room. If this was the game Sam wanted to play, then I was just going to have to play along with him.

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_**AN: Have a very happy new year everyone!**_


	11. Times Have Changed

**AN: Thank you all so much for the reviews on the last chapter! I was very proud of it and I'm glad you all enjoyed it. This chapter is very Blaine heavy, but don't worry, the next few chapters are going to be fantastic!**

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After digging through the back of my closet, I finally found it. The perfect shirt to drive Sam crazy. I don't remember the last time I've worn it because it was way too tight, but this white v-neck is perfect. It took a minute until I could finally get it on, but when I did, it clung to every inch of my body. It felt like it was just going to rip at any moment, so I had to be careful with my movements. Then came the question of what pants to wear. Typically, I'm a boxers kind of guy. I like having a little freedom downstairs, but I couldn't go for that today. In the bottom of my drawer, there was a pair of black briefs that Kurt had bought me, but I never wore because I didn't like the tightness. If anything was going to drive Sam nuts, it was going to be these. It was perfect. Everything was tight and bulging, more than enough to tease Sam.

I looked at myself in the mirror and thought about what exactly I was doing. Sam wanted me to loosen up a little bit, but is that what I'm doing? Or am I just trying to get Sam to like me? Am I just desperate for someone to love me because there's a hole in my life that I need filled? Do I actually love Sam, or just the idea of being with Sam? And does Sam even feel the same way? Would he ever feel that we would work together? He hasn't had the best of luck with relationships recently, maybe he needs time to grow and figure out what he likes, especially since he just came to terms with his sexuality.

"Blaine! How long does it take you to change? Come on!" Sam's voice broke my thought process. I guess I should just go with it. I walked down the steps, back into the living room and Sam's back was turned.

"Is this loose enough for you?" I stood with my hands on my hips and a smirk on my face. As Sam turned around, I could hear a small gasp escape from his mouth. His eyes got wide and his mouth was wide open in surprise. If the bulge in his pants was any indication, he clearly liked what he was seeing.

"Doesn't seem very loose if you ask me," he chuckled. I laughed along with him. Sam was obviously enjoyed what he was seeing, so my mission was accomplished.

I jumped onto the couch next to Sam and we continued with our movie marathon. Neither of us talked much, we were both starving so we spent most of the time eating. I grabbed two more sodas from the kitchen and handed one to Sam. I took a big gulp and felt it go down the wrong pipe, forcing me into a coughing fit. On top of the coughing fit, I spilled half the glass on myself, soaking my shirt. Sam just sat there laughing for a few seconds until I noticed that he could see through the shirt at my body. He was definitely getting the show that he wanted to have, and I kinda enjoyed giving it to him. He finally grabbed the paper towels and helped me dry up the couch. I tried to dry my shirt, but it was pretty useless. I was going to have to throw it in the dryer.

I made a beeline for the laundry room and noticed that the rest of the wash was done, so I threw everything into the dryer at once. I couldn't help but think again about what exactly it was I was doing. There's no denying that I'm attracted to Sam. There's no denying that I want him to do things to me and I want to do them right back. But is the attraction I have towards him strictly physical? Or does it go deeper than that? He was the first person that I opened up to about my father and I was one of the first people that he opened up to about his sexuality. I guess that made us close, but close enough for a relationship? Besides, is he even ready for a relationship? He did just come out a matter of hours ago. What kind of person would I be if I just starting hitting on a guy that just came out? How desperate would I look? I don't know.

And am I even ready for a relationship at this point? Like, I almost killed myself two days ago. I still miss Kurt a lot and just want to talk things out with him. He knows how sorry I am for what I did, but I don't want to lose him forever. He was the first person that I ever truly loved. But Sam made me forget about all of that. Sam made me happier than Kurt ever did. I would never cheat on Sam, if anything, he would cheat on me. He would be able to get any guy that he wanted, why would he want me? I'm just normal. There's nothing all that special about me. There are thousands of other Blaines out there.

I told myself to stop thinking like that. I knew that if I kept that up, I was going to fall back into depression and suicide. And I'd made a promise to Sam that if I ever went there again, I would go to him. But how can I go to him now that he's out? It'll just seem like I'm doing it for attention.

I looked everywhere for another shirt to put on, but everything was either in the wash or up in my room. Plus, regardless of what I put on, Sam was going to tell me to loosen up again, so I figured I might as well just not wear a shirt. I was already outside of my comfort zone, might as well go a little farther I guess. I walked back into the living room and sat down silently next to Sam.

I guess that he could tell just from my facial expressions that something was wrong. He put his arm around my shoulder and smiled. "Whatever is bugging you Blaine, don't worry about it. I'm here to help you." I was surprised. He didn't make any comment about my lack of a shirt. He was still Sam, helpful and kind as always. I leaned into his chest and he wrapped my in his arms.

"Thank you Sam." I could feel myself getting tired. The lack of sleep finally started to catch up to me. I closed my eyes and felt myself beginning to drift off to sleep.

"You're welcome Blaine." Sam's voice made him sound tired as well. I felt Sam's lips brush my forehead. I could get used to this, laying on the couch, curled up in Sam's arms.

Before I knew it, I had drifted off to sleep.


	12. You Can't Hide Forever

I opened my eyes and looked at the clock, it was almost 3. I'd been asleep for almost two hours. Sam's arms were still wrapped around me, but the boy had fallen asleep. He looked so peaceful and I didn't want to disturb him, but I needed to take the clothes out of the dryer. I had to move slowly out of Sam's hold so I wouldn't disturb him. I stood up and walked quietly to the laundry room. I pulled Sam's shirt out first and threw it over my shoulder.

As I dug through the clothes, I pulled out a red polo and a pair of khakis and put them on. As much as Sam enjoyed my lack of clothes, I just felt too awkward to continue that game. I finished pulling everything else out and set the basket of clean clothes outside the door so I would remember to put them away after Sam left.

I walked back into the living room and threw Sam's shirt on his head, waking him up. He stretched his arms up, causing his entire body to flex. Stop it Blaine, you can't let yourself do this. You have to stay strong. Sam looked at me smiled.

"Morning sunshine," he said. I returned his smile as he put his tanktop back on. "You know, you are really cute when you sleep. You say some really cute things."

I could feel my heart beating a little faster. What did I say? What if I let it slip my feelings for Sam? What if the things I said were sexual? "Wh-what did I say?"

"Oh, just that you loved me." Sam said with a wink. For a minute I felt relieved, it could have been much worse. I've already let that slip to Sam a couple of times, so he probably didn't really think anything of it. But there was something about Sam's eyes that made me wonder if that was the whole story or not. Maybe I said more than that, but Sam wasn't telling me. Sam raised an eyebrow at me, "Something wrong dude?"

I shook my head and got out of the daze I was in. "Nothing's wrong." I paused for a minute. It was the longest, most awkward minute I've ever experienced. "Sam, can I ask you something? If you don't want to answer, you don't have to."

"Of course Blaine. What's up?"

"When did you know you were gay? Like how did you know?" I knew it wasn't an easy question, but I was curious. Ever since I met Sam I had wondered if he was gay. Just little things that he did always made me wonder, but I never wanted to outright ask because if I had been wrong, that would have royally fucked up our friendship forever.

"Well, we might as well sit down for this. It could take a bit." We sat down on the couch facing each other and I could tell that Sam was nervous.

"Sam, if you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to. I won't push it," I reassured him.

"No, its fine. I should probably get used to telling my story anyway because I'm sure there are going to be a lot of questions like it in the future." That was definitely true, especially after Sam's track record with attractive girls like Quinn, Mercedes, and Santana. "Ever since middle school I had always been curious about sex and things. I had had plenty of girlfriends, but none of them had ever really worked out for longer than two months. There just wasn't something that connected right. It wasn't ever a physical thing, it was just I never felt like I would ever be able to have conversations that lasted hours with a girl. Like, what would we talk about?"

I couldn't help but laugh a little bit. Sam definitely had a point, he was definitely more of a guy when it came to things like sports, movies, television, music, although the Justin Bieber Experience was a little bit out of place. That really should have been my first clue. Sam heard me stifle a chuckle and threw a pillow at me, making me shut up. "Anyway," he continued with a smirk, "it wasn't until I started high school that I really started having thoughts about being gay. I started checking out other guys in the locker room, started wondering about what sex would be like with a guy, all that stuff. One day, a football player caught me looking at him after gym class as we were changing. He went into the showers and came out a few minutes later with nothing but a towel around his waist. We were the only ones in the locker room and he just dropped the towel and stood there naked."

Sam's eyes fell down to the floor like he was embarrassed. His voice got very quiet as he continued. "I just, I couldn't stop staring. He was really attractive and I felt myself getting aroused. He saw me looking and started giving me a little show, right there in the locker room! I couldn't believe what was happening, and before I knew it, I had unzipped my pants and pulled my own dick out. So we both just stood there watching each other jerk off."

He started shaking his head like the was trying to get rid of the memory. "I just remember watching him cum all over himself and wanting to lick it up, just to know what it tasted like. After it was over, I was so ashamed of myself. I wondered what my parents would have thought if they had known what had happened. I wanted to forget about it so badly, but I just couldn't. It stuck in my head and every time I thought about it or saw him, I instantly felt myself getting aroused. Luckily, my dad got his job moved out here to Lima so I left that school behind and never saw that guy again."

"So, when I started at McKinley, I wanted to try and put that incident and the thoughts that went with it in the past and start again as straight Sam. After the first football practice though, I was checking out guys in the locker room again. I willed myself to stop, but it kept happening. I purposely started waiting to go into the locker room until everyone else was done so I wouldn't have to worry about it. It worked for a while, and then Finn caught me singing in the shower. That led me to joining Glee during Duet Week. Kurt wanted me to work with him, and I agreed at first. I thought that being around a gay guy would kinda help me figure myself out, but then I met Quinn. I figured if I could get with her, then I would forget about everything. When she got back together with Finn, Santana helped me out of the funk and I started dating her. Same thing happened with Mercedes. Looking back on it, I realize that I was just using them to try and hide what I really was from myself."

Sam's voice started to quiver, he was getting upset. I crawled across the couch and gave him a hug at which point he started to cry. "Its okay Sam. Its okay. We all do things for reasons that we don't realize until later. Its just part of being human."

Sam's crying began to stop, and he looked up at me and sniffed. "I know, but I just feel so bad for using them like that. That shouldn't happen to anybody."

"Sam, listen. We all feel like that sometimes. I felt like that after cheating on Kurt. Its normal. It makes us a stronger person once we figure out why we really do things, and we apply those lessons later in life and we can be happy then."

Sam finally started to smile a little bit. "I know Blaine. I'm just afraid of what they are going to say when they find out I'm gay."

"All three of them will still love you Sam. If anything, they will be proud of you for accepting who you are. And when you do tell them, I'll be there to back you up." Sam's face lit up and he pulled me back in for another hug.

"Blaine you really are the best, you know that?" I laughed and patted him on the back. "Speaking of Kurt, what about you man? Have you been doing better since Friday?"

"Actually yes. I've been doing a lot better, I just wish I could talk to him. I won't be able to move past it until I do. I just want to be friends with him again, I can't stand not talking to him anymore. He was my best friend and we both learned so much from each other."

Tears started to well up in my eyes and Sam put his hand on my shoulder. "Well why don't you call him up now? Isn't he going back to New York soon? This might be your last chance for a while." It was cute seeing Sam so worried about me, but I wasn't sure if I was quite ready to face him. The last time I'd seen him, I'd nearly killed myself. But maybe Sam was right, maybe we did need to have a chat.

I picked my phone up from the table and sent a text to Kurt.

**Blaine:** Hey, can you meet me at The Lima Bean in like, 15? I'd love to see you before you go back to New York.

I looked up from my phone and Sam had a big grin on his face. "You're facing your fears Blaine, I'm proud of you for that."

I didn't expect Kurt to text back. I put on a fake smile and murmured a thank you to Sam. I wasn't sure if texting him was a smart idea after I did it. Kurt could easily say no and that would be worse than having to talk to him in my opinion.

I felt my phone vibrate and my heart stopped for a moment. I looked at my phone, and sure enough Kurt had texted back. I almost didn't want to open it in the fear of being rejected. I took a deep breath and opened the message.

**Kurt: **Sounds great.


	13. A Much Needed Chat

**AN: Quick update I know, but I wrote the last chapter and this one in one sitting, so I figured I wouldn't keep you all waiting. The plans for the next two chapters are all laid out and I think they are going to be great. Enjoy!**

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"See Blaine? I told you he would would say yes. Now you can let him know how you really feel."

I was still a little surprised that Kurt agreed to meet with me. The last time I had seen him, he couldn't look me in the eye. But this was going to be the last time for who knows how long until we would get to see each other again. Sam was right, it was either now or potentially never. No matter how nervous I was, I knew that I just had to go and get it over with. Maybe I'll finally be able put get the closure that I needed. "Sam, will you come with? I don't want to go by myself."

Sam smiled and pulled me in for a hug. "Of course Blaine. I'll be in the parking lot. If you need me, just text and I'll do whatever I can." Sam's grip around me tightened and somehow I just knew that everything was going to be okay. As long as I had Sam on my side, I knew that I would be fine. I felt safe. I felt happy. I felt _loved_.

It was about a 7 minutes drive to The Lima Bean, so Sam and I hurried out the door and we got into our cars. I could feel my heart beating faster. Was I really going to do this? All of this craziness just happened two days ago, was I really ready to try and face Kurt again? What if I just went right back to rock bottom? I had to calm myself down otherwise I would never be able to say what I wanted to to Kurt. I started taking deep breaths and looked in my rear-view mirror. Seeing Sam behind me, knowing that he had my back made me feel stronger.

Soon enough, I was pulling into the parking lot at The Lima Bean with Sam right behind me. My phone chimed and I looked at the screen. A message from Sam. I smiled and opened the message.

**Sam:** I believe in you Blaine.

That was all that I needed. Before I could second guess myself, I got out of my car and walked into The Lima Bean. Kurt was already there, sitting at a table. He was holding his coffee, but there was another one there. I walked up behind him and put my hand on his shoulder. He turned around and smiled. "Hey Blaine. Its good to see you again." I smiled back and took the seat across from him. "Medium drip, just like always." I was taken aback that Kurt had remembered my coffee order. But then again, we spent almost every day after school here, so how couldn't he?

It was a little awkward at first. Both of us kept sneaking glances at each other. Eventually, I couldn't stand the silence anymore and just started talking. "Kurt, I'm so sorry for what I did. I can't tell you how sorry I am. I know it was stupid and I'm an idiot and I don't deserve you, but plea-"

"Blaine. Stop. I know you are sorry, you've said that enough. I understand why you did what you did. I was busy all the time, and you needed someone to talk to. If anyone should be apologizing, its me because I didn't make time for and when we did have time to talk, I only talked about myself. I've already forgiven you for what you did, but I'll never be able to forget it. Its going to take a while until I'll be able to trust you again and I don't know if we will ever be able to get back what we had. I still love you Blaine, I always will. I just don't know if I will be able to love you the way that I did."

Kurt's words, while comforting and kind, still put a dagger in my heart. Knowing that there was no way that we were going to be able to go back to being in a relationship any time soon was devastating. "Kurt, all I want is to be your friend again." I could feel tears forming in my eyes. I wiped them away and told myself to stay strong. Of course, I wanted more than that, but it was obvious Kurt didn't want the same thing that I did. I had to start small. "You're such a huge part of my life and I can't imagine life without you in it at all."

"I know Blaine, I feel the same way. You changed me as a person and you inspired me to reach for my dreams. I want nothing more than to be your friend, but we have to start back from square one if it is ever going to work."

A smile crept across my lips. "That sounds great Kurt." I reached across the table and took Kurt's hand. "I promise that I will never do anything to hurt you again. I want to hear about everything that happens while you are in New York and if anything happens here, I promise that you will be the first person that I tell."

"That's a great place to start." Kurt's phone started to go off. He looked at the caller ID and smiled. "Hey! How are you? Really? That's great! I'm so proud of you. Yea, I'm leaving in a few hours so I'll be back in New York tonight. Really? You're amazing. I'll let Rachel know. Okay. I'll see you later." He hung up and put his phone back in his pocket. "Sorry, that was Adam. He goes to NYADA with Rachel and he's really nice. He's gonna pick Rachel and I up at the airport when we get back to New York."

"Well," I was looking down at the table. "I'm glad you're holding up in New York." Part of me was really happy for Kurt. It was nice knowing that he was making friends in New York, but at the same time I knew that he was moving on from high school. He was doing new things and soon enough he was going to forget about his small little hometown in Ohio. He was going to forget about McKinley, about Dalton, about me.

"It definitely is not easy. I know its weird, but somehow Rachel keeps me sane. She's that little touch of home that keeps me from striving for things that just won't happen." As Kurt was talking, I slid my phone out and sent a message to Sam.

**Blaine: **I'll be out in a minute. He's moved on Sam.

I faked a chuckle, "Well that's great Kurt. Listen, my mom is going to be home soon and there are still some things I have to do around the house. It was great seeing you again and I'm glad we cleared everything up. I will talk to you soon?"

We both stood up and embraced. "Of course you will Blaine. Make sure you say hello to everyone in Glee Club for Rachel and I."

"I can do that. Tell Rachel that I'll talk to her soon. I would have called her this weekend, but everything's just been a whirlwind lately and I haven't had the time."

Kurt smiled again and looked in my eyes. "I'm glad you made time for me. And I'm glad we're going to be friends again. I've missed you."

"I missed you too." I gave Kurt one last hug and walked out of the coffee shop.

I spotted Sam's truck instantly and ran over. I knocked on the passenger window and Sam opened the lock. I climbed inside and shut the door and instantly started to cry. Sam pulled me close to him and I buried my head in his shoulder. I tried to form words, but I just couldn't.

"Its okay Blaine. Let it out," Sam whispered as he rubbed my back.

Kurt was leaving for New York in a matter of hours and by the time he gets back to New York, he will have forgotten the conversation we just had and we'll go back to not speaking to each other. Kurt was going to move on in his life. He was going to do amazing things. He was going to meet amazing people. Kurt was going to find somebody else and I was going to be here in Ohio for the next year. Alone.

Except I wasn't alone. I had Sam.


	14. Someone Like You

"What am I going to do Sam? He's already found another guy. I could hear it in his voice how much he liked him. I wouldn't be surprised if by tomorrow morning we all get on Facebook and see that Kurt and whoever this Adam guy is are in a relationship. How was he able to move on so fast? Did what we have together not mean enough to him? Or is this guy just so fantastic that Kurt totally forgot about me? Did Kurt ever really love me? " I want to be angry at Kurt. I want to scream and punch and kick. But all I can do is cry. All I can do is think about how I fucked up the greatest thing that I'd ever had.

"Kurt loved you as much as you loved him dude. You know that. But people change Blaine. Kurt has been away from Lima and living in New York for long enough to change himself. The high-school Kurt is gone and you have to let him go. Kurt was able to leave his old self behind, and now look at him. He's happy again. I know you want to be happy again, but in order to do that, you have to leave the past in the past and start looking at your own future. And who cares if he found someone else? You'll find your own Adam too. Maybe you already have, but you never noticed it."

I wasn't sure exactly what Sam meant by that. I know what he was trying to say, but what did he mean that I may have already found him? Surely he wasn't talking about himself, was he? No, he's just trying to make me feel better so he's saying the cliche things that you say when a friend is down about a broken relationship. He didn't love me. But Sam did have a point. The Kurt that I knew was gone and he's changed into an adult. I have to do the same thing. I have to leave my past with Kurt and play the cards that I'm being dealt.

Sam's arms were still wrapped around me, pulling me into his body. I normally wasn't a crier, but in Sam's arms, I knew that I could let it out. Crying actually made me feel better. Sam would always help me feel better, even if he just listened. He helped me a lot this weekend and I wish there had been someway that I could have repayed him.

"Sam," I sniffed back my tears so I could try and form a coherent sentence, "what did you mean earlier when you said that I already helped you?"

Sam smiled that smile that would make anybody swoon. "Blaine, when you told me about your father, something that you had never shared with anybody else, I respected you so much more. I'd been struggling with my sexuality for years and kept it to myself. Seeing you open up about something so personal like that, and then seeing everyone accept you for it, it made me realize that the same thing would be true for me if I came out. You gave me the courage to finally be true to myself and stop trying to be something that I just wasn't. Had it not been for hearing your story, I never would have been able to accept myself. You were able to do it, and that gave me the strength to do it. And you have to do the same thing right now Blaine. Kurt was able to move on and be happy, and I know that you can do it too."

Sam's story was amazing. I had no idea that one act of friendship was enough to give someone else the courage to open up. I wanted to kiss Sam right there, but I know that I couldn't. His face after our kiss last night was still burned to the inside of my eyelids. And before I could even think about doing that again, I had to think about if I was really ready to move on from Kurt. Saying it was one thing, but meaning it and doing it were completely different entities.

"Now let's go Blaine. Let's get out of here and finish watching some movies. There's a pizza back at your house that I'm sure will make you feel better." Sam pushed me out of his truck and we shared a laugh. It was good having a friend like Sam, he always knew exactly how to bring me back to reality.

I walked across the parking lot and climbed into my car. After I started the car, I flipped through the radio to try and find something good to listen to on the way home. On the third try, I found it.

**BLAINE**

I heard that you're settled down  
That you found a boy and you're married now  
I heard that your dreams came true  
Guess he gave you things I didn't give to you  
Old friend, why are you so shy?  
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light

I thought of Kurt showing up to Grease. How he couldn't look at me, how I couldn't look at him. The aftermath that followed.

How could you turn up out of the blue, uninvited?  
You couldn't stay away, you couldn't fight it  
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded  
That for me, it isn't over

Never mind, I'll find someone like you  
I wish nothing but the best for you, too  
Don't forget me, I begged, I remember you said  
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead  
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead

I thought of all the great memories I had with Kurt. Our first duet, his winning Prom Queen and the dance that we shared, his audition for NYADA, and him finally getting to New York to live his dream.

You know how the time flies  
Only yesterday was the time of our lives  
We were born and raised in a summer haze  
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited  
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it  
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded  
That for me, it isn't over yet

Never mind, I'll find someone like you  
I wish nothing but the best for you, too  
Don't forget me, I begged, I remember you said  
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead, yeah

Nothing compares, no worries or cares  
Regrets and mistakes, they're memories made  
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you  
I wish nothing but the best for you  
Don't forget me, I begged, I remember you said  
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead

I looked in my mirror and saw Sam's truck behind me.

Never mind, I found someone like you  
I wish nothing but the best for you, too  
Don't forget me, I begged, I remember you said  
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead  
Sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead**  
**

I pulled in front of my house and parked my car. Sam parked behind me. As he stepped out of his car and I saw his beautiful blonde hair, I knew what I needed to do. I couldn't keep fighting it anymore. I got out of the car and walked up to Sam. My heart was racing, but I had to take a risk that I normally would have never taken.

"Sam, you're absolutely right. I can't keep living in the past. Kurt moved on, I can too. I need to think about what I want. Its our senior year and I want to enjoy it as much as possible."

"And I will be with you the whole way Blaine. Let's make the most of it. Come on, I'm starv-"

Sam could hardly finished his sentence before I wrapped my hands around his waist, pulled him in close and kissed him. Sam was the one. In that moment, I knew it. He was the only person that I needed.

I pulled away from the kiss and looked at Sam, waiting for a reaction. At first I was worried that he wasn't going to say anything, but then he smiled.

"I love you Blaine." He picked me up and carried me back into my house. Hearing the words come out of his mouth almost didn't seem real.

"I love you too Sam."

* * *

**AN: Up next, the exciting Season Finale. :P And yes, I did change the lyrics on purpose. I'll probably do that more in the future. I know I wanted to use this song, but I had to change it a little bit to fit the situation.**


	15. Dreams Can Come True

As Sam and I walked back inside, our hands kept brushing. Every time my skin touched his, I felt my heart beat faster. As we got to the steps, I felt myself being lifted. Sam was carrying me into my own house. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. This boy has to be the cutest thing ever. He laid me down on the couch and before I knew it he was on top of me and our lips were locked. I couldn't keep my hands from wandering around his chiseled body. I pulled the tank top over his head as he did the same with my shirt. Our bodies pressed together in a way that seemed like they were meant to fit together, like a key in a lock.

Sam pulled away and I opened my eyes. He looked beautiful. His blonde hair shining, his green eyes staring back at mine. He was my angel, sent from who knows where to find me and save me. He brought me back to life and gave me something more than I could have asked for. Love.

Was I ready for another relationship though? Was _he_ ready for a relationship?

Sam began to lean back in for another kiss but I put my hand on his chest and stopped him. "Sam. I really like you, I might even love you. But everything has happened in such a short amount of time. I don't know how ready I am to be in another relationship. I do want to try and make something work between us, but I don't know if now is the right time."

I was expecting Sam's smiles to fade, but it didn't. "I know Blaine. I like you too, but I'm scared because I'm not used to being with another guy. I do know we have something, I felt it last night when you kissed me. That's why I didn't say anything. It was a brand new feeling and I needed time to think about what it meant. But I know now that it was love."

Sam laid down on top of me once again so that our noses touched. "I promise you that I will be right here with you, helping you get through anything that you are going through. Whenever you need someone, I'm always here for you Blaine." He dropped his jaw and our lips connected for a second.

I looked up at Sam and felt a tear forming in my eye. "Sam. You've done so much for me this weekend. You taught me how to love again. I owe you so much for that. I promise that I will be there for you whenever you need someone. You'll never have to go through anything alone ever again. I care about you Sammy."

That sly smile crossed Sam's face again. "Sammy huh? I like that. But only if it comes from your lips." He leaned down and kissed me again. "There's no denying that there is something between us, but neither of us are ready to jump into a new relationship. Let's start out slow. Who knows, in a few weeks, maybe we'll both be ready."

"That sounds perfect." I sat myself up and wrapped my arms around Sam. He held me in his arms and nothing had ever felt more perfect. I pulled away and picked up our shirts off the floor. "Let's finish our movies. My mom will be home in a few hours."

* * *

It was shortly after 10PM when I heard the front door being opened. I climbed off of Sam and grabbed my shirt. I threw Sam's at him and we quickly put them on. We had both lost track of time because we were too busy getting lost in each other's lips.

"Blaine! I'm home!" I heard my mom calling from the door. She walked into the living room and saw Sam sitting on the couch. "Oh! I didn't realize you had company!"

"Mom, this is Sam Evans. He's in New Directions with me. I offered to let him hang out here for a while and relax."

"Oh Blaine, that's no problem! Nice to meet you Sam. Now, I'm going to go take a hot bath. Its been one hell of a day. You are welcome to stay as long as you like Sam!" My mom walked upstairs and I was relieved she didn't ask about what we were doing today. I wouldn't have had time to come up with a story.

Sam walked back over to give me a hug. "As much as I would love to stay longer, I should get home. I at least want to get some sleep tonight and if I spend much longer here, I think I'll end up staying the night. Besides, Stacy and Stevie are probably wondering where I am." I really didn't want Sam to leave, but he was going to have to eventually.

I helped him gather his things and walked him out to his truck. He threw his things in the back and opened the driver's side door. "I had a great time today Blaine. Thank you for everything."

I wrapped my arms around his waist. "Thank you Sam. Without you, this weekend would have never happened." He pressed his lips to my forehead and there was no keeping a smile off of my face. "Now go home. Say hi to the kids for me. I will see you tomorrow." I kissed his cheek and watched him drive away. Sam Evans was everything I could have ever asked for. Beautiful, caring, and he said what I needed to hear, not what I wanted to hear. I was finally ready to move on and I knew where I was going.

I walked back inside my house and my mom was sitting on the living room couch. "Blaine, can you come here for a second?" Oh crap, was I in trouble? What if she had seen us kissing? "Why did you never introduce me to Sam? He seems like such a nice boy."

I sat down next to my mom and was relieved that that was the question. "Well, I saw Kurt on Friday night and I was in a funk. Sam helped get me out of it. Before that, we hadn't really been very close but we got really close this weekend. I told him about dad and he told me things about himself that he hadn't told anyone."

"Wait, Kurt was here? Did you talk to him?"

"He and Rachel came home to see the show and that's when I saw him. It was incredibly awkward, neither of us could look each other in the eye. I wanted to talk to him, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. But Sam told me that today might have been the last chance I would get in a while and I knew that I had to do it. I met him at The Lima Bean this afternoon and we talked. He forgave me, but he said he wouldn't forget what I did. We agreed to just be friends and if we really are meant to be together then we will. I don't think he meant it though because it seemed that he met someone in New York. But it was nice to have closure."

"Well babe, I'm glad you talked to him and you worked things out. The two of you were too close to just abandon each other like that. And I'm glad you found someone like Sam that you can trust with everything. He will be good for you Blaine, I can see how he makes you smile." I started to blush. "Is there anything going on between the two of you?"

I didn't know what to say. I was shocked that my mom would ask me that. My mom's smile widened and she gave me a hug. "I was only kidding hon. You don't need to answer that. Just promise me that you won't rush into anything."

"I promise mom."

"Good. Now go get a shower and get ready for bed. I know you're tired and you've had a long weekend."

"Thanks mom. I love you."

"I love you too Blaine."

* * *

I climbed into the shower and turned the water to a comfortable temperature. I just stood there for a little while thinking back to this weekend. It was hard to believe that 48 hours ago, I was at rock bottom. I was as good as dead. I had no reason to live. But in the past two days, I've completely turned around. I've gotten the closure with Kurt that I needed, I've strengthened my friendships with my fellow Glee club seniors, and I have a friend that I cherish more than anything else. Sam was exactly what I needed and I have never been happier than I was now.

I felt myself drifting off to sleep, so I turned off the shower and dried off. I threw a pair of underwear on and climbed into bed. It felt so good to finally lay down and relax. With the musical, the cast party, the lock-in, spending the day with Sam and seeing Kurt, I had forgotten just how comfortable my bed was.

There was a knock at my door, "Blaine, can I come in?" It was my mom.

I sat up in my bed. "Sure mom, what's up?"

"Blaine, I just want you to know how proud of you I am. I know I told you that I wasn't going to be able to see the show, but I pulled some strings with my boss and managed to see it last night." My mom was starting to cry and I wasn't far behind. "You were amazing Blaine. You have such talent and passion and I want you to chase your dreams. Never let them go. You've grown so much and you're becoming a man before my eyes. I dread the day that you finally leave the nest, but I know that you will soar to new levels. I will always be your biggest fan Blaine, remember that."

"Thanks mom." I gave her a hug and we embraced until we both calmed down a little bit.

"Blaine, my grandmother once told me something and its how I've lived my life ever since. She said 'You have to take life one day at a time. Don't look at the past, and don't worry about the future. Look at what you have and make it into something beautiful.' I know that you've been through a lot and there is only more to come, but don't grow up too quickly. There are many opportunities for you right now and you have to take them. When you can do that, you'll find happiness."

I couldn't help but think that I'd already found happiness. Sam.

"Now go to bed, you have school tomorrow." She kissed my forehead and walked out of my room, closing the door behind her.

Sam was my happiness. Everything I needed, he had. I knew the two of us would be friends for a lifetime, but if there was anything else on the horizon, well, my mom was right. I would have to just take it one day at a time.

I grabbed my phone off the table next to my bed and sent a text to Sam.

**Blaine: **Thank you for this weekend. I couldn't have asked for anybody else to spend it with. I love you Sam Evans.

This time, I was sure that I meant it. I loved Sam and never wanted to be without him again. I set it back down on the table and closed my eyes. Seconds later, I heard it vibrating and saw a reply from Sam. I opened it up and smiled.

**Sam: **I love you too Blaine Anderson.

Somehow, I knew that he meant it too.

* * *

**AN: And there we have it, the end of Part One. I'm going to take a little break from writing, but it shouldn't be long. I've been at this story for a month now and its come so far and I'm incredibly proud of it. There is much more to come for our boys especially when they have to deal with McKinley once again. Thank you all so much for the reviews, they mean the world to me. Feel free to offer suggestions for things you would like to see in Part Two, and I will see what I can do!**

**Thank you all for your support!**

**~SeanySass**


	16. Back to Reality

**AN: Because our boys will be back in school for a while, I'm changing up the way I'm formatting the story. Each chapter is going to be a day and I'll have time stamps throughout separating the story up. This means the chapters will likely start being longer than they were in the past and that updates will probably come less frequently, I'm hoping for at least once a week, but I'm not going to promise anything. Enjoy!**

* * *

**MONDAY**_  
_

* * *

_6:25 A.M._

Ugh. This damn alarm is going to be the death of me one day. Might as well get up. I could hardly open my eyes. I was still so tired from the weekend that I wanted to just lay in bed all day and sleep. I needed to go to school though, plus, Sam was going to be there. I know I spent the whole day with him yesterday, but I missed him already. I needed to see his adorable smile and hear his voice again.

I walked over to my closet and tried to pick out an outfit. As I was sifting through the rainbow of polos, I came across the white shirt that I wore yesterday and laughed. How surprised would everyone be if I showed up to school wearing that? Only problem was that knowing my luck, I'd spill something and be stuck with an obnoxious stain for the rest of the day. How embarrassing would that be? Plus, I would go the entire day being incredibly self conscious because you can every muscle on my body.

I finally settled on a black button up with a yellow bow tie and a pair of black jeans. I had an obsession with adding just little pops of color to my outfits, and the yellow tie was perfect for that. I threw my clothes on and looked at my hair. If there was an award for worst bedhead, I would win it every day. It stuck out enough that it could have made a perfect hemisphere on my head. I hated going out in public without my hair slicked back. With my clothes and hairstyle, I often got complimented on looking very sophisticated, which is exactly what I was going for. Someone has to represent the gay community in a positive way.

After I was done gelling and getting all the gook off my hands, I turned my phone on. When I saw there was a text from Sam, I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face.

**Sam: **I really don't want to go to school today. :( I just want to stay home and watch movies with you again.

Sam certainly wasn't making falling for him any easier. If I could, I would have told him to hurry over here and we could pick up where we left off last night, but school was important.

**Blaine: **I know, but school's kinda important. And we'll have plenty of time to hang out during school. :)

I looked over at the clock and it was already 7. School started in half an hour and I wanted to make sure I got their early so I could spend some time with Sam before the day started.

I heard my mom walking around upstairs as I was getting ready to leave. "Bye mom!"

"Blaine! Have a good day!" she yelled down the stairs as I shut the door. I walked out to my car and climbed inside. I was so excited to see Sam I couldn't help but smile. I flipped through the preset radio stations, trying to find a good song, but there just wasn't anything. I looked in my center console to find a CD. There was a "mix tape CD" that Kurt had made for me for our 3 month anniversary that I hadn't played in a while. I honestly forgot what songs were even on it. I popped it in and within seconds knew what the first song was.

**BLAINE:**

Grew up in a small town  
And when the rain would fall down  
I'd just stare out my window  
Dreaming of what could be  
And if I'd end up happy  
I would pray

Trying hard to reach out  
But when I'd try to speak out  
Felt like no one could hear me  
Wanted to belong here  
But something felt so wrong here  
So I pray  
I could breakaway

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly  
I'll do what it takes 'til I touch the sky  
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change  
And breakaway  
Out of the darkness and into the sun  
But I won't forget all the ones that I loved  
I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change  
And breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze  
Sleep under a palm tree  
Feel the rush of the ocean  
Get onboard a fast train  
Travel on a jet plane, far away  
And breakaway

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly  
I'll do what it takes 'til I touch the sky  
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change  
And breakaway  
Out of the darkness and into the sun  
I won't forget all the ones that I loved  
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change  
And breakaway

Buildings with a hundred floors  
Swinging 'round revolving doors  
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but  
Gotta keep moving on, moving on  
Fly away, breakaway

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly  
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye  
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change  
And breakaway  
Out of the darkness and into the sun  
But I won't forget the place I come from  
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change  
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway.

Minutes into the next song, I pulled into my spot in the parking lot. I turned off my car and looked around for Sam's truck, but it was nowhere to be found. I figured Sam was on his way so I waited for him to show up. I looked at my phone and there was 5 minutes left until school started. I was worried that Sam was going to skip, but I had to get inside before I was marked tardy. I figured I would see Sam at lunch.

* * *

_11:45 A.M._

I closed up my calculus book. I was starving since I had totally skipped breakfast this morning.

"I'll see you at lunch Blaine!" Tina called as she ran out the door. I could hear her stomach rumbling all period and it was understandable why she was in such a hurry to get to lunch. That girl's metabolism was her worst enemy. I walked down to my locker and dropped my books off. Sam's locker was just down the hall so I figured I would wait for him so we could walk to lunch together.

I waited for about 5 minutes before I just couldn't handle it and went for lunch. Maybe he'd pulled a Tina and went straight to lunch. Either way, I'd see his cute face soon enough.

I walked into the cafe and looked around for Sam. Usually his blonde hair stood straight out, but today I couldn't find it. I sat down next to Tina with the rest of the Glee Club and waited for Sam to show up.

"Hey Tina, have you seen Sam at all today? I talked to him before I left my house, but I haven't seen him."

"I can't say that I have. Do you _miss_ him?" Tina's eyes fluttered and I knew what she was suggesting.

I rolled my eyes. "No Tina. He said something this morning about not wanting to come to school and sleep all day, but I didn't think he actually would."

"Maybe Sam stayed to talk with his teacher. There's still plenty of time for him to show up. Don't you worry your pretty little face about it."

Tina and I both smirked as I pulled out my phone. I just wanted to make sure that Sam was okay. I was really looking forward to seeing him and if he wasn't going to show up, I just wanted to know that he was okay.

**Blaine: **Hey Sam. Where are you? I miss you. :(

* * *

_2:55 P.M._

Where is he? Final period ended like 10 minutes ago. He should have been at his locker by now. He hasn't texted, he hasn't shown up. Oh my god, what if something happened? What if he was hurt? What if he was avoiding me? Maybe yesterday was too much for him and he was afraid of being awkward around me. That had to be it. I took that "game" a little too far and probably weirded Sam out. I was the first guy he's hung out with since he came out at the party and I came on too strong. I seemed desperate. Now he probably wants nothing to do with me.

I walked to Glee Club with my head down. I took a minute to compose myself before I walked inside. I couldn't let anybody see me upset. I had to try and put on a smile and just try and make it through the next 90 minutes. It shouldn't be that hard, right? I've done it plenty of times already.

I walked into the choir room and everyone else was already there, except for Sam. Mr. Schuester was writing the theme of the week on the board and I took a seat by myself. Tina looked across the room at me with a look of concern. I shook my head as if to say that I was fine and looked up at the word on the board.

**PRIDE**

"The theme this week is pride. I want you to choose a song that expresses something that you are proud about. It can be anything from a part of your personality to a talent that you have, or you can even be proud of someone else."

I kept staring at the word. Pride. It sounded harder than I thought it was going to be. I'm never one to be typical, so anything about being gay was totally out of the question. I could probably talk about overcoming the suicide attempts, but again, too obvious. Artie did name me the "New Rachel" after all, I had to impress.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Marley's hand shoot up. "Mr. Schue, Unique and I have a song we would like to sing."

At the same time, I felt my phone vibrate and pulled out it. It was Sam.

**Sam: **Meet me out in the parking lot.

"Can you excuse me for a minute Mr. Schue? Its important. Marley, Unique, don't start without me!" I was out of the room before they could give me an answer.

* * *

_3:10 P.M._

Sam was okay. He wasn't hurt, he wasn't in trouble, he was okay. I don't think I'd ever ran faster out of McKinley than I just did, well maybe that day last year after that brutal Chemistry final. How I got a B on that I still don't know.

There he was, leaning up against his truck. He looked great as always, but he was staring at the ground like he was nervous.

"Sam!" I called out to him and waved. He picked up his head and smiled. I reached out for a hug and Sam reciprocated, but pulled back quickly. Was something wrong and he was only here to tell me? Did he need me?

"Blaine, I'm sorry about not showing up or answering any of your texts. It wasn't your fault, I just needed a day to think about everything that happened over the weekend. Sunday was great and everything, but I was worried that someone was going to find out and air my dirty laundry to the entire school. I want to be able to do this on my own terms."

"Its okay Sammy." He smiled when I called him Sammy. "Look, you're here now. You should come to Glee Club. The lesson this week is a good one and Unique and Marley are waiting for me to go back in so they can kick the week off. I think it will help you out."

I could tell Sam was thinking about not coming with me. "Okay. But only because I know how much you missed me today. I am pretty sexy." He pushed my shoulder playfully and I laughed. "Come on."

We started walking back towards the school and Sam grabbed my hand and held it. He squeezed it gently and a shiver went down my spine. I could get used to this. Walking down the halls of McKinley holding the hottest guy's hand. The hand that threw the winning touchdown in a football game. The hand that every girl in the school wants to hold.

As we approached the choir room, Sam lets my hand go and we walk inside. Everyone greets Sam, wondering where he was all day. He told them all that he slept in really late because of the crazy weekend, but he didn't want to miss Glee.

I turned to Marley and Unique, "Hit it!"

**MARLEY  
**You know the bed feels warmer  
Sleeping here alone

**UNIQUE  
**You know I dream in color  
And do the things I want

**MARLEY**  
You think you got the best of me  
Think you've had the last laugh  
Bet you think that everything good is gone

**UNIQUE**  
Think you left me broken down  
Think that I'd come running back  
Baby you don't know me, cause you're dead wrong

**BOTH**  
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger  
Stand a little taller  
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone  
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter  
Footsteps even lighter  
Doesn't mean I'm over 'cause you're gone

**UNIQUE**  
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger  
Just me, myself and I

**BOTH**  
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger  
Stand a little taller  
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

**MARLEY**  
Thanks to you I got a new thing started

**UNIQUE**  
Thanks to you I'm not the brokenhearted

**MARLEY**  
Thanks to you I'm finally thinking 'about me

**UNIQUE**  
You know in the end the day you left was just my beginning

**BOTH**  
In the end...  
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger  
Stand a little taller  
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone  
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter  
Footsteps even lighter  
Doesn't mean I'm over 'cause you're gone

**MARLEY**  
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger  
Just me, myself and I

**BOTH**  
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger  
Stand a little taller  
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger  
Just me, myself and I

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger  
Stand a little taller  
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

* * *

_4:30 P.M._

"Blaine, I don't know how you're not tired. I'm exhausted." Tina said as Sam, her, and I walked out to our cars after Glee Club. "I got like, no sleep this weekend and I'm definitely paying for it now."

"I don't know Tina. I guess I was just excited about coming back to school and seeing everyone again. After all that time we spent together during Grease, it was weird not seeing everyone." Sam shot me a smile and I just looked to the ground to avoid letting either him or Tina see me blush.

"Maybe. Ugh. I'm gonna get home, fall on the couch and just pass out for a while." Tina unlocked her car and climbed inside.

"I'm probably going to do the exact same thing Tina. I'm beat and I didn't even come in today." Sam laughed.

"Okay, go take your nap kiddies." I stuck my tongue out at Tina. "I'm gonna go home and try to pick out a song for Glee this week. Plus, I have homework to do. Don't sleep too late Tina." I winked at her as she closed her car door.

Sam and I walked to the back of the parking lot where our cars were.

"I'm glad you convinced me to come in Blaine, its definitely going to be a great week."

I smiled at Sam, "Of course dude. I have no idea what song I'm going to do, but I'm sure I'll find something tonight."

Sam pulled me in for a hug when we got to his truck. "You always figure something out." He kissed my forehead. "I'll text you later, I've gotta get home before I fall asleep right here."

"I'll see you later. Get home safely."

* * *

_4:45 P.M._

_Blaine, I will be home at around 6 with dinner. Let me know if you are going out. xoxo Mom_

I threw my mom's note in the trash can and decided it would probably be best if I waited for her to bring home food. With the musical and mom's crazy work schedule, we haven't spent a lot of time together recently. It'll be nice to sit down and eat with her. There's about an hour to kill, so I might as well try and get some homework done.

I hauled myself up the stairs to my room and turned on my computer. I put in my password and opened up Microsoft Word. These Government questions didn't seem that hard. I dug my book out of my bag and got to work.

Ten minutes later I heard my phone chime. Usually I wouldn't bother to look at it, but when I saw it was from Sam, I couldn't stop my arm from reaching out. I was glad to know that he got home safely.

**Sam: **Hey hot stuff. ;)

**Blaine: **Me? Hot stuff? Trying looking in a mirror.

**Sam: **Oh I am. And what I'm seeing is really turning me on. Only thing that would make it better is if you were next to me.

I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. The thought of Sam standing in front of a mirror admiring himself was too much to not be turned on. I was still wearing my tight pants from earlier, so this was not good.

**Blaine: **I wish I was right next to you, but I have to get this homework done.

I changed into a pair of sweat pants and sat back down at my desk. As tempting as Sam was at this moment, I really did have to get my homework done. School comes first and all that. My phone lit up again, Sam.

**Sam: **Good thing you aren't here then. I wouldn't be able to take my hands off of you and you would never get your work done.

The idea of Sam's hands on my body gave me goosebumps. His strong hands holding my face while we kiss, sliding down my body to my...

Snap out of it Blaine. Work before play. I turned my phone upside so I wouldn't be able to see the light if I received a text. I opened up iTunes and turned on my playlist for whenever I need to concentrate. A lot of upbeat songs that'll get the mind going. I took a deep breath and started typing.

Before I knew it, I was already halfway done. It was only 5:19. I still had another half an hour or so until mom would be home, so I decided to take a little break. I turned my phone over and saw that I had 4 texts from Sam.

**Sam: **Good think I'm not there either. I would pin you to your bed and kiss you all over.

**Sam: **I wish these were your hands on my cock.

**Sam: **I want you to jerk me off while I play with my nipples.

**Sam: **I want to be your sex toy Blaine. Do whatever you want with me.

I could feel the bulge in my pants growing larger. I had to do something about it. I shut my door, locked it, and took off my clothes. I started rubbing my cock as I texted Sam.

**Blaine: **Play with your nipples Sammy. Play with them until your hard.

**Sam: **Yes sir. ;)

**Blaine: **Now take your left hand and play with your balls.

Pictures of Sam playing with himself flooded my mind. His broad chest, well-toned abs, tight ass, all smoothly shaven and beautifully tanned. I quickened my rhythm on my dick as Sam texted me back.

**Sam: **This feels so good Blaine. I'm harder now than ever before.

**Blaine: **Good. Now start playing with your cock, but don't cum just yet.

**Sam: **Please Blaine. Let me cum.

He wasn't going to get off that easy. He was my sex toy, my own orgasm came before his.

**Blaine: **Make me cum first. Then you can.

**Sam: **Let me come over and swallow that cock of yours.

The thought of Sam's lips wrapping around my cock was enough to send me over the edge. My load shot up to my chest, my abs, and then it dribbled out of my penis.

**Blaine: **As nice as that sounds, I'm afraid now wouldn't be a good time. You can finish now. ;)

As soon as I sent it, a pang of regret hit me. What did I just do? I spent all this time worrying about scaring Sam off, and then I do this? What the hell is wrong with me? My inhibitions took over and I felt horrible. I wanted to text Sam and apologize, but he had already texted back.

**Sam: **That felt so good. Next time I need a hand, I know where to go. ;)

As nice as Sam was being, I still wish that it hadn't happened. I just had to make myself forget about it. Or at least trying. I grabbed a couple of tissues from the box next to my bed and wiped myself off. I threw my clothes back on and turned off my phone. I only had a few more minutes until my mom said she would be home and I needed to finish these Government questions.

I sat down at my desk and read the next question. I couldn't make sense of it because all I could think about was Sam and his body that belonged on a Greek statue.

* * *

_6:10 P.M._

There was a knock at my door, "Blaine, I'm home! Dinner is downstairs, I just want to change first!"

"Alright, I'm just finishing this question and I'll be down." I typed the last period and looked over my answers. They made sense for the most part, but the second half was a little jumbled. That's what happens when you sext someone incredibly attractive I guess.

I hadn't eaten a lot at lunch, so I bolted downstairs to the kitchen. There was a bag sitting on the table from the local sandwich shop. Inside, there were two Italian sandwiches. I sat down at the table and started to eat. After a few bites, my mom came back downstairs and sat across from me.

My mom chuckled, "My gosh you must be hungry. Long day?"

I held up a finger as I finished chewing. "You could say that. I just felt like I was in a funk all day. And I have no idea what I want to sing for Glee Club this week. The theme is pride."

"Well you could always sing that Lady Gaga song. What's it called? _Born This Way_?"

"I would sing that if I wanted to be predictable. This week is just a tough one because its so broad."

"You'll figure something out honey." Typical reassuring mom, but if it weren't for her, who knows where I would be at this point.

"I know." I finished my sandwich and excused myself from the table. "Thanks for dinner mom, I've gotta go finish my homework. Love you."

My mom murmured something that sounded like "you too." I couldn't really tell since her mouth was full. As I walked up the stairs, I pulled out my phone and sent a text to Sam and Tina telling them to wake up. Within seconds, I had a reply from Sam.

**Sam: **Already up! I had the coolest dream. I killed a bunch of vampires and saved the world from becoming vampire slaves.

I couldn't stop myself from laughing. Sam definitely had a very active imagination, it was one of the cutest things about him.

**Blaine: **You are such a dork! Its cute. :)

**Sam:** You know, you aren't bad yourself Blaine. ;)

And there he went again, his adorable flirting. I know we had both agreed that we were going to wait a while until we tried a relationship, at least until we were both ready to start dating, but I felt myself falling for Sam more and more everyday. Before things, got any worse, I sent another text to Sam.

**Blaine: **Why thank you. I've gotta finish this homework. I will let you know when I'm done.

After the message finished sending, I turned my phone off so I wouldn't have to worry about getting any messages. I sat down at my desk, opened my calculus book and got to work.

* * *

_7:55 P.M._

Equals 17. Finally done. I looked at the clock and saw that it was just before 8. Now I had time to relax a little bit before going to bed and doing it all over again tomorrow. I turned my phone on as I put my books back into my bag and when it finally loaded, it was going off like crazy. I checked it and saw that there were two messages, one from Sam and another from Kurt. Both of them had picture attachments.

I opened the one from Kurt first.

**Kurt: **Now presenting, Miss Rachel Berry!

The picture was of Rachel in a beautiful dress with her hair flowing down to her shoulders in beautiful curls. She looked stunning.

**Blaine: **Kurt that's awesome! Did you have something to do with that?

As I waited for Kurt to respond, I opened up Sam's.

**Sam:** Like what you see?

I wasn't entirely sure what to expect, so I opened the picture with caution. When it finally loaded, I was surprised by what I saw. Sam had taken a picture of himself in a mirror. The sink cut off anything below the belly button, but from the looks of it, he hadn't been wearing any pants. He was completely naked. I stared at the picture for a bit, then a new text from Kurt came in and snapped me out of my daze.

**Kurt: **Yea, Isabelle and I gave her a makeover. She's never been more confident with herself before.

I was glad that Rachel was finally coming out of her high school shell and turning into a woman. She had Kurt by her side, so there wasn't anything that she couldn't do, she just had to believe in herself. I closed the message from Kurt and staring back at me was the message from Sam. I opened the picture again. I smiled and shook my head. This boy was crazy. But it was impossible not to fall under his spell.

**Blaine: **You are such a tease.

**Sam: **I know. ;) But that's all your getting until I get to see something.

As tempting as that sounded, I knew it wasn't a good idea. Sam is awesome and we did have a great time together the last few days, but we were just friends and nothing more.

**Blaine: **Maybe in the future. You'll have to wait. ;)

**Sam: **:( Can I at least see you in those tight clothes again?

I knew he wasn't going to forget that. It was probably on of the first times he'd seen me in something other than my Dalton uniform or typical dress shirt and bowtie. I might as well give him something to remember that night by.

I dug through my closet to the tight shirt that I had on yesterday, right where it was this morning. I threw it on and pulled down my pants so that I was just wearing briefs. I looked at myself in the full length mirror and opened up the camera on my phone. I hated taking pictures of myself, but for some reason, I was okay with it. Maybe that was just the effect that Sam had on me. He definitely did make me feel comfortable about myself even though I know I paled in comparison to him. I took four or five pictures and picked the best one and sent it off to Sam.

**Sam: **You are so beautiful Blaine. I just want to rip that shirt off.

* * *

_9:30 P.M._

I pulled on a pair of underwear after getting out of the shower and sat down at my computer. I needed to find a song for Glee Club this week and I wanted to try and get a jump start on it. I scrolled through my iTunes trying to find something.

Its not like there isn't plenty to choose from, its just that there isn't something that suits what I want to go with. I thought about maybe picking a song to show how proud of Sam I was, but I knew that I would basically be giving up Sam's secret. I didn't want to do that since it wasn't my story to tell. Then I saw it. I didn't even know why I had this song in my library, but I did.

_One Step At A Time_ - Jordin Sparks

If there was one thing that I was proud of, it was the strength that my mom had in leaving my father. She told me last night to live life one day at a time, and that's exactly what this song said to do. I could dedicate the song to her, have someone record it and then show it to her. Its the perfect choice.

I remembered that Sam asked for help with trying to pick out his own song, so I grabbed my phone and called him.

It rang a couple of times, and then I heard Sam answer, "Hello?"

Just hearing the sound of his voice made my heart beat faster. "Hey Sam! How are you doing?"

"Blaine!" I could hear the joy in his voice. "I'm okay. Better now that I'm talking to you."

A smile crept across my face. I still couldn't get over how flirtatious Sam was, I never saw it coming. "Aww Sammy! You're too cute."

"I know."

The two of us shared a laugh. "So have you picked out a song yet for Glee Club?"

"Actually yea, it was a lot easier than I had though it was going to be."

"That's awesome! What song are you gonna sing?"

"Haha, I'm not telling you. I want it to be a surprise."

"Pleeeeease? I won't tell anyone!"

"Nope. You're just going to have to wait like everyone else."

"Can I at least have a hint?"

"Blaine, if you want a hint, you know what you have to do." My phone beeped, letting me know that Sam had hung up.

I knew what he was referring to, he really wanted a picture of me naked. It was a little unnerving that he was being so persistent, but at the same time it was flattering. He always struck me as the strong, silent type. Little did I know that he had this little sex monster inside of him. Or maybe he had a big sex monster.

I felt myself getting lost in the thoughts of Sam's dick and shook myself away from them. I looked over at the clock and didn't realize how fast the time had went.

* * *

_10:45 P.M._

I listened to _One Step At A Time_ one last time before shutting off my computer. I crawled into bed and was just about to turn my phone off when Tina texted me.

**Tina: **Hey! How did your day go?

**Blaine: **Pretty good. How was your nap? :P

**Tina: **I actually just woke up. I slept through my alarm. Now I have to do all the homework, so I'm probably going to be up all night again.

**Blaine: **Well that's what you get for taking so many AP courses.

**Tina: **I know. :/ Did you talk to Sam at all today? ;)

What was Tina insinuating? I know she knows that I like Sam, but it seems like she's pressing me to do something serious about it.

**Blaine: **A little bit. Mostly about Glee Club. I don't know what you think, but if there was anything going on between us, you would know. We're just friends.

**Tina: **Suuuure. ;) I'll talk to you tomorrow Blaine, I've gotta get this work done.

**Blaine: **Have fun!

Tina's curiosity about my friendship with Sam was really weird. I get that we are friends, but this was kinda personal and I didn't really enjoy Tina sticking her nose where it didn't really belong. I'm not a wreck about it, so I don't really need her dropping innuendos about me and Sam everywhere. I really wish she would stop before she says something that could stop Sam from coming out on his own terms.

I turned off my phone and rolled onto my side. I knew I was going to have to talk to Tina about it at some point, but I really didn't want to. I had to make sure that Sam was comfortable though. I couldn't wait to find out what Sam's song was. I thought of a hundred different possibilities as I laid there. I tried to shut all of that out and started counting backwards from one hundred. One I got to zero, I started over until I finally felt myself drifting off to sleep.


	17. Don't Be Scared

**TUESDAY**

* * *

I sat in the hallway crying. What the hell just happened? I looked down at Sam's body in my lap, blood flowing from his head. His eyes were closed but the smile on his face still there, it looked like he was sleeping. I looked down the hallway at Tina. She was being dragged away by the police, a triumphant smile on her face. The gun laid on the floor, nobody even trying to go near it. The gun that killed Sam. I gripped his hair and pulled my head into his. I let out a cry. I didn't care who saw me. I didn't care if I was appearing weak. My best friend was dead. The love of my life was dead.

This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be real. Sam couldn't be gone, it just couldn't happen. I needed him. I loved him. He was my angel. He couldn't die.

* * *

_4:10 A.M._

My body shot upright as I awoke from my nightmare. I could feel myself sweating and wiped away the beads collecting on my forehead. It was just a dream. It seemed so real though. I looked at the clock and saw that it was shortly after 4 A.M. No way Sam would be awake, but I tried anyway. I grabbed my phone and turned it on, cursing at how long this was taking. Seconds felt like days until my phone was finally on and ready. I called Sam's number and waited as the phone rang.

It rang. And rang. And rang some more. He was asleep, no way he was going to answer.

"Hello?"

"Sam! Thank god."

"Blaine. Do you know what time it is? What the hell man?" I obviously woke him up. But he told me that if I ever needed someone to talk to, he would be there. Now was one of those times.

"I know Sam. Its just, I had a really bad dream and you're the only person that will calm me down." My words spewed from my mouth faster than I could control them. I was talking a mile a minute and could hardly understand myself. "We were talking. And then there was a bang. And you fell over. And Tina. And I. And everyone. And you. You were dead."

"Okay. Slow down. I'm gonna put on boxers and walk outside. I don't want to wake up the little ones."

The thought of Sam standing in his room completely naked while I talked to him flashed into my mind, but it left just as quickly. This was the least of my worries right now, I had just seen Sam die.

"Alright Blaine. Tell me what happened."

I told Sam about the end of the dream. He was silent the entire time. "And then I called you."

Sam didn't answer and I was afraid that maybe he had fallen asleep again by accident. I shouldn't have bothered him this early in the morning. I was being selfish. I should have waited until a reasonable hour. He's probably pissed off. I fucked up again.

"Blaine...that's...I don't know what to say. I get why you're freaked, but it was just a dream. You're talking to me right now, I'm fine. And Tina would never do something like that. She's like, our best friend."

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and a lump forming in my throat. I tried to suppress it, but my voice cracked as I spoke. "I wouldn't be so sure about that..."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Tina's just been acting kinda weird lately. She keeps thinking that we are more than just friends. Ever since the lock-in she's just kinda been different. I told her that I liked you at the cast party. She's the one that told me to just trust my instincts and that led to me kissing you."

"Dude she's probably just trying to tease you. That's what friends do. I'm sure she's happy that you're moving on from Kurt and this is her way of showing it. Don't worry your pretty little head."

"I guess..." I didn't believe it. Tina has never acted like this when anyone else had a crush, why was this time different?

"Blaine, go back to bed. I know when you get quiet you start thinking too much. Just go back to sleep while you still can."

"Sam, I can't. I'm afraid of having another dream like that. It was bad enough the first time. Can we just like, do something? Get an early breakfast or something before school starts? Please? I'll pick you up."

There was a pause. It was the longest pause of my life. Part of me didn't want to be alone after that nightmare, but at the same time, I really wanted some alone time with Sam.

"Fine. But only because its you. Give me fifteen minutes." Sam hung up the phone and I was ecstatic. I blindly grabbed clothes out of my closet and threw them on. I tried to be as quiet as I could because my mom was still sleeping. I wrote a quick note to my mom.

_Mom, going out for an early breakfast, then off to school. I'll see you tonight! Love, Blaine._

I walked outside, it was still dark but all I cared about was seeing Sam.

* * *

___5:05 A.M._

I watched as Sam put his last bite of pancake into his mouth. He definitely loves food considering he downed three pancakes that were bigger than my head in less than twenty minutes. I guess that's why he spends so much time in the gym. If he eats like that all the time, he has to if he wants to keep his gorgeous figure.

"Oof. That was fantastic. Thanks for talking me into that one Blaine." Sam winked at me and I turned my eyes towards the table. Depending on how you looked at it, I guess you could say that this was sort of our first date.

Wait. First date? Whoa. No it wasn't. It was just two gay guys eating breakfast together. Right?

I looked behind Sam's head and out the front door of the diner. The sun was just starting to come up. Sam saw me staring and turned around. "Come on, I wanna show you something." Sam got up and started walking towards the door like he was in a hurry. I paid the check, which Sam better pay me back for one of these days. Who knew pancakes were as expensive as they were?

We got into my car and Sam started directing me to some place. I had no idea where we were going because it was on the outskirts of Lima. Since moving to McKinley, I hadn't done much adventuring around Ohio. I guess now was as good a time as any to see some new things.

Eventually, Sam directed me into a parking lot and got out of the car. He started walking to a park with a huge oak tree in the middle of it. It seemed so out of place. There was nothing around it except for a path. There weren't any other trees for miles and it was far enough away from the city that you could barely make out the buildings. The rising sun gave just enough light that I was able to follow Sam as he headed towards the tree and sat down underneath it.

"Come on slowpoke!" he called out from under the tree. I picked up the pace and almost tripped over a small hill in the ground. I could hear Sam laughing and I just rolled my eyes. When I finally got under the tree, I sat next to Sam and leaned my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around my neck and we just laid there watching as the sun came up.

It was silent as we both just soaked in the beauty of the sunrise. The sky was painted with oranges and reds meeting the deep blue.

"This is where I come to get away from the world. Its always quiet, even when there are a lot of people around. I'm glad its just the two of us though." Sam broke the silence. "You're the first person I've told about this place, but I wanted to share it with you. Maybe you'll get as much use out of it as I have."

I was touched. "Thanks Sam. Its really beautiful here. Its the second most beautiful thing that I've ever seen."

Sam looked confused. "Well what's the first?"

I looked up into his eyes and smiled. "You are." I leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips.

* * *

___9:00 A.M._

I shut my locker. My head was still reeling from the kiss this morning. I don't know what came over me. It was just so romantic and it felt right. And after it happened, I didn't panic. Sam didn't panic. It was almost like he expected it to happen. Its the first time I've ever showed Sam affection without second guessing myself. I just know that he's the right one, but he needs to be ready before we commit to anything. And for a boy like Sam, I'm willing to wait as long as I need to.

I walked into government and saw Tina. I froze for a minute and flashed back to my dream.

"I love you Blaine. I mean it. I've never loved anymore as much as I do right now and I don't know what I would do without you." Sam wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. "And it would mean the world to me if you you would be my boyfriend."

"Of course I will Sam." BANG!

I turned around, startled by someone dropping their book out in the hallway. I looked back at Tina and she had a sweet smile on her face. I couldn't sit with her, not after the dream. I spotted an empty desk in the back corner of the room and took it. Tina's eyes followed me as I walked as far away from her as I could get and the smile fell from her face as she turned back to the front of the room. She folded her arms on the desk and laid her head on them, looking out the window. I clearly upset her, but I don't know how ready I am to talk to her just yet.

* * *

___*LUNCH*_

Lunchtime. Finally. I've managed to avoid Tina for half the day now. Only a few more hours to go. I got to my locker, put in my combination and pulled the latch. Except it wouldn't open. The latch was stuck on something. Dammit, I need to get to lunch early so I can avoid sitting near Tina. I put my books on the floor and used both of my hands to try and force the door open. It wasn't working. Now I was starting to panic. I turned around to see if there was anyone that could help me open it, but nobody was around. I kept trying to pry it open and finally it popped open.

I dropped my books off and grabbed the ones I would need for the rest of the day. I ran to lunch, hoping that there would still be a couple of seats left at our table. I din't have to sit at the complete opposite end, as long as I wasn't adjacent to Tina.

I burst into the cafeteria and made a beeline straight for my fellow Glee Club members. As I approached, I realized that my worst fear was coming to life. The only empty seat was directly across from Tina. I would have to spend the entire lunch period looking at her. Not something I wanted to deal with right now.

I sat down quietly and Tina looked at me with concern. "Blaine, are you okay? You've been kinda weird lately."

"Its nothing. Just tired." I looked down at the other end of the table at Sam, but he was busy talking to Ryder and Brittany. They were laughing so he was probably doing one of those impressions that he does. They are so dorky, but so adorable at the same time. His smile lit up the whole room and I just wanted to plant my lips on his again.

"Blaine? Hello? Did you hear what I said?" Tina snapped me back into reality.

"Huh? What?"

"I said that you know that if you ever need something, you can talk to me."

I felt like Tina was trying to pry into my business. She doesn't need to know about every little thing that happens in my life, so why should I tell her anything? If anyone's been acting weird lately, its been her. She's the one who thinks that there is something going on between Sam and I that there just isn't.

I looked Tina straight in the eye. "Yea Tina. I know. And if _you_ ever have a problem, you can _always_ come talk to me." I said in the most sarcastic voice I could muster. I could feel the rest of the Glee Club staring at me, so I grabbed my books and walked out of the cafeteria and headed for the choir room.

**BLAINE**

Hey, slow it down  
Whataya want from me  
Whataya want from me  
Yeah I'm afraid  
Whataya want from me  
Whataya want from me

There might have been a time  
When I would give myself away  
Oooh once upon a time I didn't give a damn  
But now, here we are so whataya want from me  
Whataya want from me

The choir room was empty. Mr. Schue must have been eating lunch with Emma.

Just don't give up I'm workin it out  
Please don't give in, I won't let you down  
It messed me up, need a second to breathe  
Just keep coming around  
Hey, whataya want from me  
Whataya want from me  
Whataya want from me

Yeah, it's plain to see  
That baby you're beautiful  
And there's nothing wrong with you  
It's me, I'm a freak  
but thanks for lovin' me  
Cause you're doing it perfectly

There might have been a time  
When I would let you slip away  
I wouldn't even try  
But I think you could save my life

Just don't give up I'm workin' it out  
Please don't give in, I won't let you down  
It messed me up, need a second to breathe  
Just keep comin around  
Hey, whataya want from me  
Whataya want from me

Just don't give up on me  
I won't let you down  
No, I won't let you down

So hey just don't give up, I'm workin it out  
Please don't give in, I won't let you down  
It messed me up, Need a second to breathe  
Just keep coming around  
Hey, whataya want from me

Just don't give up I'm workin' it out  
Please don't give in, i won't let you down  
It messed me up, need a second to breathe  
Just keep coming around  
Hey, whataya want from me  
Whataya want from me  
Whataya want from me

I turned around and saw Sam standing at the door. He started to walk towards me, but there was a weird feeling in the air. He didn't look concerned, he looked almost afraid. "Blaine. You need to calm down. You're acting crazy. What you had was a dream. It wasn't real. Tina's not going to bring a gun into the school and shoot me." He wrapped his arms around me as I sobbed into his shoulder. "I'm not going anywhere."

Through the tears, I managed to get a few words out. "I know. I just don't want to lose you." I was still worried about my dream though. It wasn't the first time I'd had a dream about losing Sam and Tina being angry with me.

I sobbed into Sam's shoulder for a few minutes until I was finally able to compose myself. The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch.

"Listen Blaine, you'll be fine. You only have three more classes to get through, and none of them are with Tina. I'll meet you after school at your locker. We can walk to Glee together. Okay?"

"O-okay." Sam rubbed my head and started towards the door. I ran up behind him and gave him one last hug. "I love you Sam."

He patted my hands which were locked together on his chest. "I know Blaine. I love you too."

* * *

___2:30 P.M._

Oh sure, now my locker decides to open without a problem. Why couldn't it do that before lunch? I would have avoided making that whole scene then. That's just my luck I guess. Suddenly, I felt two arms wrap around my head and two hands covered my eyes.

"Sam?" I smiled and turned around, but then I noticed that it wasn't Sam. It was not at all who I thought it would be.

"No silly, its just me." Tina said. "Why'd you think it was Sam? Waiting for him?" she winked.

Not this again. "No, Sam told me he would meet me here after school. I figured it was him."

"Riiiight." Tina rolled her eyes. It was kind of annoying. Why couldn't she just understand that Sam and I were _friends_. That was it. "Anyway, I wanted to know if you were going to perform in Glee Club today."

"No. Probably tomorrow. I want to work on my song a little bit more."

Tina's face lit up in a smile. "Awesome, because I really wanted to go today!" She turned around and walked towards the choir room. She walked down the hallway like she was a runway model in Paris. This was so not like her.

I turned back to my locker and finished putting away my books. Luckily I didn't have any homework tonight so my bag would be light going home. Plus, I could spend the night working on my song for Glee tomorrow.

I closed my locker as I heard someone calling my name from behind me. I whipped around, recognizing the voice and I watched as Sam walked towards me. His eyes lit up when our eyes met and a smile crept across both of our faces. He embraced me in a quick hug and started towards Glee.

"Tina's been acting really weird Sam. She came up to me before you showed up and asked if I was performing in Glee today. Then she like, stomped away like she was Adriana Lima or something." Sam stopped and looked at me, confused.

"Who the hell is Adriana Lima?"

I couldn't help but chuckle. Sam may be gay, but he was definitely more into sports than fashion. "Victoria's Secret model."

Sam shrugged his shoulders, probably not getting it and we continued walking towards Glee. "Just don't worry about her Blaine. She's probably just paranoid about that thing that she told us." I had totally forgotten about it. Now that her secret about her proposal to Mike at graduation was out to a few of us, she was probably worried that someone would spill it and somehow it would get back to Mike.

Sam and I were the last ones to walk into Glee Club, and the minute we stepped in, Tina began her song.

**TINA**

I stare at my reflection in the mirror  
Why am I doing this to myself?  
Losing my mind on a tiny error  
I nearly left the real me on the shelf  
No, no, no, no, no

Don't lose it all in the blur of the stars  
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing  
It's okay not to be okay  
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart  
Tears don't mean you're losing  
Everybody's bruising  
Just be true to who you are

Who you are, who you are, who you are  
Who you are, who you are, who you are  
Who you are, who you are, who you are

Brushing my hair, do I look perfect?  
I forgot what to do to fit the mold, yeah  
The more I try the less it's working, yeah, yeah, yeah  
'Cause everything inside me screams  
No, no, no, no, no

Don't lose it all in the blur of the stars  
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing  
It's okay not to be okay  
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart  
But tears don't mean you're losing  
Everybody's bruising  
There's nothing wrong with who you are

Yes, no's, egos, fake shows like boom  
Just go and leave me alone  
Real talk, real life, good luck, good night  
With a smile, that's my home, that's my home, no  
No, no, no, no, no

Don't lose it all in the blur of the stars  
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing  
It's okay not to be okay  
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart  
Tears don't mean you're losing  
Everybody's bruising  
Just be true to who you are  
Yeah, yeah, yeah

The choir room erupted in applause. Tina waited until the noise died away and explained herself. "As an Asian female, there were many stereotypes placed on me. I haven't let them get to me and I have become the person that I wanted to be, not what society wanted to tell me to be. And if anyone has a problem with that, then they can go screw themselves.

Artie cheered, "That's my girl. Woo!" and the rest of the Glee Club joined in. I sat there, not sure what to think. Tina seemed to be really angry during the performance and afterwards. I was just hoping it didn't have anything to do with me.

* * *

___4:45 P.M._

I practically fell into my house. I was so tired from Glee Club today that all I wanted to do was lay down and take a nap. I checked the kitchen for a note from my mom but she didn't leave one. I guess that means I'm just going to have to get something myself. I'm not in a rush, I just need to sit. My legs are on fire after Booty Camp.

I dragged myself over to the couch and plopped down on it. It felt so good to finally get off my legs and take a minute to unwind. I grabbed the remote and flipped through the TV guide. Nothing good was on. I looked next to the TV at the row of Harry Potter movies that Sam and I had started the other day. I guess I could always finish that marathon. I decided to text Sam and see if he wanted to come over and watch it.

**Blaine: **Hey! Are you busy right now?

While I had my phone out, I figured I would see what time my mom was going to get home so I could figure out if I had to get dinner for myself or if she would be home in time.

**Blaine: **Hey mom, what time are you going to be home?

Right after I hit the send button, a new text message appeared.

**Sam: **Just doing homework but its not hard. What's up?

**Blaine: **Well I don't really have anything to do, so if you wanna come over, we never did finish our movies on Sunday.

I wasn't sure if we would end up actually watching the movies. If it was anything like last time, we would probably end up just watching each other.

**Mom: **Probably not until 10. Sorry, but I got swamped with paperwork. I love you.

The news that my mom was working late was bittersweet. It sucked because I did love hanging out with my mom and I wanted to tell her about my song for Glee Club, but at the same time, it meant that I got to spend some alone time with Sam.

**Sam: **Do you want me to come over just to watch movies or to do something else? ;)

I could feel my cock hardening as the memories of the last time Sam was over came back to my head. I definitely wouldn't mind Sam taking his shirt off again so I can admire his physique again. I already know he's going to tell me to loosen up, so I might as well already be loosened up by the time he gets here.

**Blaine: **Just get over here. :P I have a surprise for you. ;)

**Sam: **Well when you put it that way. I'll be over in 10.

I pulled my shirt off and threw my pants on the floor. I stood there in my briefs and smirked at my reflection in the mirror. Sam Evans, I hope your ready.

* * *

___6:25 P.M._

I sat at the table, staring at Sam while he finished his sandwich. Granted, he only made sandwiches, but they were really good. Knowing that Sam knew his way around a kitchen only made him that much more appealing to me. Attractive, talented, and a good cook? It was almost to good to be true. Throw him being gay on top of it and I was sold.

When Sam knocked on the door and came inside my house, he had no idea what was going to hit him. I stood there in just my underwear and his eyes looked at every inch of my body. He liked what he saw and instantly began to take his own clothes off. "I don't want to feel over dressed," he chuckled. I wasn't complaining, I mean, beautiful guy taking his clothes off in my house? Who wouldn't be in heaven?

I leaned my elbow on the table, with my hand resting on my fist as I stared at Sam's chest. It was just the right amount of muscle that I wanted to lay my head on it forever. His abs looked firm enough that if you had enough of them, you could build a house. I just wanted to run my tongue through them. I wanted to taste Sam's body. I wanted to feel him inside of me.

Sam must have noticed me staring at him because he began to look very concerned. He almost began to fold up so that nobody could see him. "I-is something wrong Blaine?"

I totally forgot about Sam's body issues. He's obsessed with being perfect and is constantly looking for a way to get there, no matter what the cost. "Sam, no. In fact, everything is right. You're perfect. You're definitely the most attractive person that I have ever met."

Sam's cheeks got red at the compliment and he smiled. "Thanks Blaine. Coming from you, that means a lot."

I felt my own cheeks getting red and before I made a fool out of myself, I began to clean up. In a matter of minutes, the kitchen was clean and we were back on the couch. I pressed play on the remote and we picked up our movie marathon where we had left off the other night, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. This one was my favorite because in a way, its the climax of the whole series. Voldemort comes back and the Second Wizarding War begins.

I felt Sam's arm wrap around my shoulders and he pulled me in. I put my head on his shoulder like I did this morning, and again, I just wanted to stay like this forever. We sat in silence, watching the movie and I placed my hand on his knee. I felt Sam's back straighten as soon as it happened.

I stifled a laugh and ask, "Something wrong babe?"

Sam replied nervously, "Babe? That's new. And no, nothing wrong at all." He turned his attention back towards the movie, clearly trying to keep himself under control.

We'll see how long that lasts Sammy.

* * *

___8:10 P.M._

My hand was now halfway between Sam's knee and his crotch. Every time I had adjusted my hand's position, Sam's breath quickened a little bit more. I shifted myself again and placed my hand on Sam's inner thigh. Sam let out a small moan and shifted his own position. He was clearly trying to cover up the growing bulge in his underwear, but it wasn't working.

I moved my hand a little bit closer, but something set Sam off. He stood up quickly, excused himself and ran up the stairs. Shit. I went too far. Now I've really fucked up. My own desires took hold of my body and I didn't think about Sam at all. He's never been with another guy before. He's still sensitive about his sexuality, and I totally just took advantage of him. That wasn't what I wanted to do at all. I just wanted to watch him squirm a little bit.

I ran up the stairs, trying to find Sam. The door to the bathroom was locked, so I knew he was in there. I was about to knock on the door and apologize, but I heard something going on. From inside the bathroom, I could hear soft moans. There was another sound that I was all too familiar with.

Sam was masturbating in my bathroom.

What I wouldn't have given for x-ray vision. The thought of Sam's hands rubbing his own body was too much. I pulled my briefs down, leaned against the door and started to masturbate right there in the hallway. I pictured Sam standing there, worshiping his body in the mirror as we stroked his cock. If what they say about guys with big hands is true, then Sam was definitely not packing lightly.

Sam's moans started to grow louder and his breathing quickened. I could hear Sam whispering inside the bathroom, "Oh fuck. Oh that feels good. Yes." I was getting even more turned on as Sam neared his climax. He let out a loud moan and must have finished just as I did. I had to act fast. All I could think about was making sure that Sam had no idea that I just masturbated outside of the bathroom. I grabbed the tissues on the bookshelf right by me and wiped off my chest and stomach. I bolted downstairs and jumped on the couch.

Sam was only seconds behind me because I head him coming down the steps. I didn't turn around. I let him come over to the couch and when he was standing next to it, I stood up. "Sam, I'm really sorry if I went to far. You're just really attractive and I wanted to make you squirm like you make me sometimes." Sam just looked at me like a deer in headlights. "Sam? Is everything okay?" I placed my hand on my bare hip.

My heart sank. In my rush of cleaning up after my orgasm, I had totally forgotten to put my underwear back on. And now there I was, standing naked in front of Sam. I quickly grabbed the blanket off the couch and covered myself, but it was too late. Sam had already seen everything.

"Sam! I'm so sorry." He was already putting his clothes back on and heading for the door. The door slammed shut and I was standing in my living room naked. And alone.

* * *

___10:00 P.M._

My pillow was soaked from all of the tears I'd been crying for the past hour and a half. I laid on my bed, my head buried in my pillow, crying my eyes out in the dark. I locked my door so I wouldn't have to worry about my mom coming in, she'll just think I'm asleep.

I can't believe I could have been so stupid. I should have known that Sam was going to react the way that he did. All this time I've been telling myself to take it slow for Sam's sake and tonight I just royally fucked that up. After he left, I tried calling him to apologize, but it kept going to voicemail. I left message after message, begging for him to call me back, but he never did.

I fucking hate myself for doing that to Sam. The boy has been nothing but kind towards me and I just tried to take advantage of him. What the hell does that say about me? Am I some kind of freak that just wants to have sex with every hot guy I can be around? Did I just lose by best friend and possibly the greatest love of my life?

**BLAINE**

Goodbye, little dream, goodbye,  
You made my romance sublime,  
Now it's time to fly,  
For the stars have fled from heavens,  
The moon's deserted the hill,  
And the sultry breeze that sang in the trees  
Is suddenly strangely still.

It's done little dream it's done,  
So bid me a fond farewell,  
We both had our fun.

Was it Romeo or Juliet who said  
When about to die,  
"Love is not all peaches and cream",  
Little dream, goodbye.

I heard the front door open. Mom was home. "Blaine, are you here?" I heard her call through the house. I laid there quietly, hoping she would just think that I was asleep. I heard her come up the stairs and try to open my door. She knocked a few times, "Blaine are you in there? Are you awake?"

I willed my mom to go away. "Alright, you must be asleep. I love you Blaine and I'm sorry for working late tonight. I have off tomorrow, we can do whatever you want. Sleep well."

I couldn't recall the last time my mom had off of work for something other than a holiday. Maybe I can tell her to come to Glee Club tomorrow since my song is for her. That's if I even wanted to show my face at school. It was bad enough with the thought of Tina being pissed at me. Knowing that Sam was upset? My two best friends in the world? What was I going to do? I grabbed my phone and looked through the contacts for someone to talk to. I stopped at Kurt. It was a longshot, but maybe he would know what to say.

**Blaine: **Kurt, I fucked up big time. I made a huge mistake and I don't know how to fix it. Please, help me.

I put my phone down and closed my eyes. Before I knew it, I was falling into a deep sleep.

* * *

**AN: Whew. I literally wrote most of this over the course of one day. This was such a fun chapter to write because it really allowed me to dive more into what goes on in Blaine's head. I have a really good plan for where I want this "week" to go and I can't wait to start writing it. Thank you and I hope you enjoyed it. **


	18. Passing It On

**AN: Sorry it took me so long to upload this one! I've been super busy the past few days and just didn't have the time or the energy to really sit down and write. I got great reviews on the last chapter, and I hope this one is just as well received.**

* * *

**WEDNESDAY**

* * *

_7:30 A.M._

I dragged myself into the school. I really didn't want to go. I would have rather spent the day at home with my mom, trying to forget about what happened last night. We were starting a new lesson in Calculus though and I really needed to be there for it or else I would have no idea what was going on.

When I got into the school, I turned around and looked out, into the parking lot. Sam's black truck made its way into the student lot. I thought about waiting for him to come inside so I could apologize, but I already tried to do that. He clearly didn't want to hear it. I figured that I should just give him some time and give myself some as well. Did I love Sam just because he was hot and gave me attention? Were those the things that were telling me that I could have something more than just a friendship with the boy? Was there anything deeper at all?_  
_

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and turned it on as I walked to my locker. I was too worried to turn it on this morning because I was afraid that there would be a message from Sam saying that he never wanted to see me again. If I had seen that while I was alone, I don't know what I would have done. At least while I'm at school, there are people around that will stop me from doing something drastic.

There was a message on my phone from Kurt. I had almost forgotten that I had texted him last night.

**Kurt: **What's wrong?

Part of me wanted to call Kurt right there and tell him everything. But then I thought about how he would feel. Would he be hurt by me moving on so fast, especially to someone that he knew? Someone that he had taken in like a brother and cared for in his time of need? Then I wondered what I was doing. I needed someone to talk to and Kurt was the perfect person for it. Besides, he had already moved on to this Adam guy. There were pictures of them together all over Facebook, and quite frankly it was disgusting how cute they were together.

**Blaine: **Can't really talk now, but I'll call you at lunch.

I pressed the send button and looked up. Sam was walking down the hallway towards me. He was talking to some other football player. How I wish I could read lips. Was he talking about me? Was he talking about how gross I am and how I tried to make a move on him? Oh god he was getting closer. He glanced in my direction and I waved at him. He coughed and turned his head back towards his teammate.

I watched as the two boys walked away. Sam's strong arms bulged as he carried his books off to his first class. His shiny blonde hair glowed under the fluorescent lights of the school. His tight butt looked amazing in his jeans. I shook myself out of my daze. This was exactly what had gotten me into trouble in the first place. I had to stop seeing Sam as a sexual being. I needed to make things go back to the way they used to be. If I ever wanted to become friends with Sam again, I would have to start all the way back at the beginning. Just friends, nothing more. See each other during school and Glee and nothing else.

But first I'd have to get him to talk to me, otherwise we would never be friends again. I wished I could go back in time just twelve hours and take back everything I did last night. From the groping to the masturbating, my head stopped working and my penis took over. I walked towards study hall and felt my eyes beginning to water again. I couldn't cry now, not here in school where everyone could see me. I had to suck it up and get through the day.

I sat down and pulled out my government notebook. The best way to get Sam out of my mind was to put something else in it. I stared at the pages, trying to make sense of the words in front of me, but nothing made sense. I went back to chapter one and tried to make sense of it all.

**BLAINE:**

I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us  
How we met and the sparks flew instantly  
People would say "They're the lucky ones."

I used to know my spot was next to you  
Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat  
'Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on

Oh, a simple complication  
Miscommunications lead to fallout  
So many things that I wish you knew  
So many walls up, I can't break through

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room  
And we're not speaking  
And I'm dying to know, is it killing you  
Like it's killing me

I don't know what to say since a twist of fate  
When it all broke down  
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now  
Next chapter

How'd we end up this way?  
See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy  
And you're doing your best to avoid me

I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us  
How I was losing my mind when I saw you here  
But you held your pride like you should have held me

Oh I'm scared to see the ending  
Why are we pretending this is nothing?  
I'd tell you I miss you, but I don't know how  
I've never heard silence quite this loud

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room  
And we're not speaking  
And I'm dying to know, is it killing you  
Like it's killing me

I don't know what to say since a twist of fate  
When it all broke down  
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

This is looking like a contest  
Of who can act like they care less  
But I liked it better when you were on my side  
The battle's in your hands now  
But I would lay my armor down  
If you'd say you'd rather love then fight  
So many things that you wish I knew  
But the story of us might be ending soon

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room  
And we're not speaking  
And I'm dying to know, is it killing you  
Like it's killing me

I don't know what to say since a twist of fate  
When it all broke down  
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now  
Now, now  
And we're not speaking  
And I'm dying to know, is it killing you  
Like it's killing me?

And I don't know what to say since a twist of fate  
'Cause we're going down  
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

The End

* * *

_10:45 A.M._

"Mi scusi Signora Giotto." I couldn't take it anymore. Having to stare at the back of Sam's head for a whole period and not be able to say anything to him was too much. I bolted out of the room and into the bathroom across the halls. I entered the farthest stall and locked the door behind me. I was finally alone, and the tears started to fall. All I wanted to do was tell Sam how horrible I felt last night after he caught me. I wanted to apologize for basically taking advantage of him. He didn't deserve it. He had been nothing but an amazing friend to me and I took advantage of it. I knew that I couldn't talk to him though. He would get angry at me and start yelling, which would cause a scene and only make me feel worse about what I had done.

"Is someone in there?" There was a knock on the stall door. I recognized the voice, it was Mr. Schuester. "Blaine is that you?" How did he know it was me? Had I been crying that loud? Had he seen me come inside? He was a Spanish teacher and all the foreign language classrooms were in the same hallway. Maybe he saw me run inside and was worried. "Blaine, are you okay? What's going on?"

I took a deep breath, wiped my eyes, and sniffed back the tears. I opened the stall door and saw the only teacher in the entire school that I could talk to standing in front of me. Maybe it was his dorky sweater vests, his winning smile, or his physique that all of the girls and I wanted to get our hands on, but there was something about him that just told you that you could trust him. That he was a good person. That he wouldn't think any less of you if you tried to cop a feel on your best friend.

"Can we go to the choir room and talk?"

"Of course Blaine, this is my free period. Let's go."

We walked down to the choir room together and I could feel the nerves kicking in. I was taking a huge risk telling someone about what I had done last night to Sam. I had to do it though. I obviously couldn't talk to Sam, Tina was out of the question with how awkward she'd been recently, and I would have to wait another hour until I could call Kurt. Mr. Schue was like a father figure to all of the kids in New Directions and I knew that he would be able to help me out.

"Mr. Schue, can you promise me you won't tell anyone. Whatever I say doesn't leave us?"

"Of course Blaine. What's on your mind?"

Somehow I knew that I could trust him, and before I knew it, the words were flowing out of me.

* * *

_Noon_

The lunch bell rang about 15 minutes ago and I was still in the choir room. Mr. Schue said it would probably be a good idea for me to just spend some time alone today. I didn't protest because I knew that going to class would mean having to watch Sam give me the cold shoulder, and I wouldn't have been able to keep doing that all day. He was out talking to Ms. Pillsbury about something so I had some real alone time.

I looked at the Nationals trophy in the case. There was a picture behind it of New Directions from last year and a wave of memories started to come back. There was nothing more that I wanted than to go back and relive some of those memories. Before everything became so difficult. There were so many things that I wish that I could have changed, and I think about what things would be like now. What if I had never cheated on Kurt? Would we still even be together? Would I have ever fallen for Sam the way that I did?

Shit, I totally forgot. I promised Kurt I would call him during lunch. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called Kurt. He was still saved as one of my favorite contacts.

The phone didn't even finish its first ring before Kurt answered. "Hey Blaine. How are you doing?"

It was nice to hear his voice again. There was always something so reassuring about it, especially when he wasn't in a rush. "Not that great. I made a huge mistake and I lost my best friend."

There was a slight pause until Kurt asked "Who are you talking about?"

"..Sam." My voice cracked as I had to struggle to say his name.

"Blaine, what did you do?"

"I...I...I moved on too fast. I tried to turn something into something it wasn't supposed to be and I just want to take it back. I was being stupid and selfish but I just couldn't help myself." I stood there crying into the phone, waiting for Kurt to say something. It seemed like an eternity. "Kurt? Are you still there?"

"Yea Blaine. I just...I'm a bit surprised is all. I'm not really sure what to say, but that you have some things that you need to work on. Obviously, jumping into things too quickly has been a problem of yours and you need to learn to think first. If there's anything that you should do, its apologize to Sam. Don't just apologize for your actions, but apologize for why you did it. That's what he will need to hear before you can even think about getting your friendship back with him."

There was a sternness to Kurt's voice. It almost felt like he was yelling at me, but it was what I needed. He was right, I had to apologize, but that was a lot easier said than done. "I don't know if I can Kurt. Its hard enough to even look at him right now, let alone speak to him."

"Then don't say it Blaine. Do the one thing you have always been able to do. Sing."

* * *

_2:25 P.M._

10 more minutes. Come on bell, hurry up and ring.

My pep talk with Kurt earlier definitely made me feel a little bit better. He told me what I needed to hear and that gave me the boost to go back to class. Plus, I hated missing classes because I was afraid that I would fall behind and then fail a test which would plummet my grade and I could say goodbye to college. Call me a nerd, I just want my future to be in order.

I forgot that I didn't leave my mom a note this morning telling her to come to school. I snuck my phone out of my pocket and sent her a quick text.

**Blaine: **Hey, can you come to the school? Its important.

**Mom: **What's wrong Blaine? Are you okay?

I chuckled to myself and Mr. Jackson looked at me. I threw my phone into my lap and looked like I had been paying attention the whole time. Him and his damn no cell phone policy. Not like anyone listened to it anyway.

**Blaine: **I'm fine. I have a surprise for you.

_Ding. Ding. Ding. _

Finally. School is over and its time for Glee Club! I bolted down the stairs to my locker, almost tripping over my bag. I thought I saw a glimpse of Sam's hair, but the girl in front of me turned and it was just Ryder. I hadn't seen Sam since the morning and didn't want to before I got to Glee. I weaved my way through the other students and got to my locker. I opened it quickly and threw my books inside. I wanted to get to the choir room first, so I figured I would just come back for them later. Besides, I didn't have a lot of homework tonight anyway and I had study hall first thing tomorrow morning.

I walked into the choir room and the only other person there was Mr. Schue. Perfect. He looked up at me and smiled, "Hey Blaine. Are you doing better?"

"Yea Mr. Schue. A lot. Thank you. I wanted to ask you something."

"What's on your mind kiddo?"

"Well, I wanted to perform my song today. I wanted to know if it was okay that I invited my mom. I wanted to dedicate it for her. I'll explain it all when its time."

Mr. Schue smiled, "Of course! You know that guests are always welcome to Glee Club!"

This is great. Mom will be here, so if I start to freak out, she'll be able to calm me down. Plus, she can watch me do what I love to do. She could never really come see the competitions because of work. Grease was the first time she ever really got to see me on stage. I turned around and saw the other kids start to come in. As always, Tina and Artie were right behind me. Tina flashed me an obviously fake smile and I knew that that was another friendship I needed to fix. Now wasn't really the time though. Maybe I'll call her tonight.

Everyone else started to walk in, but Sam wasn't there. The phone rang and Mr. Schue answered it. He caught my attention and pointed towards the door. I figured that meant that my mom was here and walked out of the room. Everyone's heads turned as I walked out of the room, but I told them I would be right back.

As I walked down the hallway, I saw him coming towards me. I wanted to give him a hug, but I knew I had to keep my cool. I didn't want my mom to see me crying. I took a deep breath and passed by Sam.

"Hey Sam!"

He didn't say anything. He didn't even look my way. He just kept on walking towards the choir room. I turned around and watched him walk away. It hurt to know that he was ignoring me, especially we had spent so much time together and told each other things we hadn't shared with anybody else before. I had to calm myself down before I started crying. What was it about him that just made me want to break down into tears every time I saw him? Did he really mean that much to me that I needed him in my life? Was he the only thing that would ever really make me happy again?

Stop it Blaine. You're mom is waiting for you. Go get her and make her the proudest parent in the world. I took a deep breath, got a quick drink from the water fountain, put on a smile and walked towards the front doors of the school.

* * *

_3:10 P.M._

"Blaine, I don't know what you have planned, but I'm sure it can't be good," my mom joked as we walked into the choir room. The new presence in the room seemed to confuse everyone.

Mr. Schue got all of the other kids to quiet down and turned the floor over to me. "Everyone, this is my mom."

There were some hellos and waves from the group, but Sam just looked down at the floor.

"Wait," Brittany raised her hand after she had already started speaking. "so like, this is your mom? She looks just like you. I can see where you get your crazy hair from."

My mom and I looked at each other in shock and started laughing. It was true. When my mom didn't straighten her hair, it was a crazy, frizzy mess just like mine was whenever I didn't have any gel in it. "Anyway, mom, if you wouldn't mind, go take a seat. Its time for your surprise."

My mom looked at me one more time with a look of concern. I looked towards the chairs and she cautiously took one, crossing her legs in a very dignified manner. Typical mom.

"Mr. Schue told us at the beginning of the week that we could sing about anything that we were proud about. I'm proud of my mom. She has always tried her best to be the best parent that she could be. She got herself out of a very bad situation when I was younger and she raised me for the past years on her own, not taking any help from anyone. It takes a lot to be able to do that, and I'm very proud to call her my mom. My song is something that my mom was told when she was my age, and she passed that wisdom down onto me. And one day, I'll pass it down to my kids. This one is for you mom."

I looked at my mom, and there were already tears in her eyes. The music started and I felt the music course through my body like blood.

**BLAINE**

Hurry up and wait so close but so far away  
Everything that you've always dreamed of  
Close enough for you to taste but you just can't touch

You wanna show the world but no one knows your name yet  
Wonder when and where and how you're gonna make it  
You know you can if you get the chance  
In your face and the door keeps slamming

Now you're feeling more and more frustrated  
And you're getting all kind of impatient, waiting  
We live and we learn to take

One step at a time there's no need to rush  
It's like learning to fly or falling in love  
It's gonna happen and it's supposed to happen  
That we find the reasons why, one step at a time

You believe and you doubt  
You're confused and got it all figured out  
Everything that you always wished for  
Could be yours, should be yours, would be yours if they only knew

You wanna show the world but no one knows your name yet  
Wonder when and where and how you're gonna make it  
You know you can if you get the chance  
In your face and the door keeps slamming

Now you're feeling more and more frustrated  
And you're getting all kind of impatient, waiting  
We live and we learn to take

One step at a time there's no need to rush  
It's like learning to fly or falling in love  
It's gonna happen and it's supposed to happen  
That we find the reasons why, one step at a time

When you can't wait any longer  
But there's no end in sight  
It's the faith that makes you stronger  
The only way we get there is one step at a time

Take one step at a time there's no need to rush  
It's like learning to fly or falling in love  
It's gonna happen and it's supposed to happen  
That we find the reasons why, one step at a time

I looked at Sam as I sang the last chorus. Part of me wanted to devote it to him as well, but I couldn't say it out loud. I wanted him to know though, and I wanted to make sure that he got the message.

One step at a time there's no need to rush  
It's like learning to fly or falling in love  
It's gonna happen and it's supposed to happen  
That we find the reasons why, one step at a time

My mom had pulled a tissue out and was patting her eyes, careful not to smudge her makeup. Typical mom again. She stood up and wrapped me in a hug. "Blaine, that was fantastic. Thank you." She kissed my forehead and there were several sounds of admiration from the group.

My mom and I pulled apart and I looked over her shoulder at Sam. His elbows were on his knees and he was looking towards the floor. He brought his hand up to his face and wiped something from his face. Was it a tear? It had to be. Why else would he rub that close to his eye?

Mr. Schue brought me out of my daze. "Blaine, that was very moving and your mom is very lucky to have someone as talented as you as her son. If you would like Mrs. Anderson, you are more than welcome to stick around for the rest of rehearsal."

"I would love to." She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and pulled me in for another hug.

* * *

_5:15 P.M._

"Delicious mom." I said as I took the last bite of my mom's homemade lasagna. It was always my favorite, but it had been ages since she'd had the time to make it. "Thank you."

"No Blaine, thank you. I had a great time today and I'm glad I got to spend some time with you. And the song was amazing. I will never forget it."

"You are welcome mom. I know we don't spend a lot of time together, but I understand you have to work to support us both." My mom smiled across the table. I returned it instantly. "Now if you will excuse me, I have a little bit of homework to get done."

"Not so fast Blaine." There was a certain intensity in her voice that I knew couldn't be good. "You have something you have to explain first."

A shock of worry went through my body. What did I do now?

"When I came home the other day, you and that blonde boy were thick as thieves. What was his name again, Sam?" I nodded as she continued. "Then I come to rehearsal today and you two are on opposite ends of the room and not even saying a word to each other. Is everything alright between you two?"

Now this I was not prepared for. I couldn't tell my mom about why Sam wasn't talking to me. She'd kill me. I had to come up with something, quick. "Well, Sam came out over the weekend." Shit. I promised Sam that I wouldn't out him to anyone, and I've already fucked that up. "It was just to the seniors at the lock-in, so please don't tell anyone. I kinda took him under my wing after that so to speak. I wanted him to feel comfortable with himself and comfortable with accepting who he was so it would be easier for him when he does decide to come out to everyone else. I was a little too overbearing though, and it freaked him out."

My mom looked at me with skepticism. I hoped she'd buy it. She shrugged, "Okay. But you apologize to that boy. He was too nice for you to let slip."

"That he is mom." I whispered. "That he is."

"Now go, get your homework done. If you need anything, just holler."

* * *

_7:20 P.M._

I closed my Government text book, printed out my new chapter notes and leaned back in my chair. I always hated doing government outlines, but without them, I would get so lost during lectures. I stood up and arched my back. I felt the cool air from my fan blow across my stomach. I scratched my abs, feeling the lines running between them. Not as deep and chiseled as Sam's, but they were still pretty good. Sam. Somehow, all the time I spent with my mom today made me forget about him.

This was around the time of night that we typically talked, but of course, tonight would be different. I knew he wouldn't want to talk to me, so I grabbed my phone and called Tina. I might as well try and fix one friendship tonight.

She answered on the second ring, "Hello?"

"Hey Tina. Its Blaine."

"What's up?" I could tell she was a little confused as to why I was calling her. I hadn't exactly been the warmest person to her recently.

"I uh, I just wanted to apologize for acting so weird lately. I had a weird dream the other night and it just kinda freaked me out."

"Oh." There was a pause. "Its no big deal Blaine. I'm just glad I didn't do something stupid."

I laughed at the thought of Tina doing something stupid. "Never."

"Alright, well I've gotta finish these Government notes. This chapter is ridiculously long, what was she thinking assigning this for us to do in one night?"

"I know right? I just finished them. I'll talk to you tomorrow Tina."

"Bye Blaine." I hung up the phone and looked at it in my hand. The screen changed from Tina's ID photo to the background. It was a picture of the sunrise that I had seen with Sam the other morning. It had been so beautiful that I wanted to carry it with me all the time.

I thought back to that morning. Sitting in the park with a beautiful boy, watching a beautiful sunrise, sharing a beautiful kiss. Words couldn't describe how perfect it was. I had known right there that I was falling for Sam, and falling quickly. I wanted so badly to just relive those minutes over and over again. Feel that happiness over and over again. Kiss those lips forever.

I had to call Sam. I had to apologize. I found his contact, the picture was set to the scandalous one he'd sent me the other night of him, presumably naked. The phone rang four times and went to voicemail. I had to leave him a message or else I never would.

"Hey, you've reached Sam. I'm busy right now, but leave a message and I'll call you back when I can."

Even his recorded voice was endearing. I took a deep breath and started talking when I heard the beep. "Hey, its Blaine. I know you're probably still freaked out about last night, but I wanted to apologize."

I calmed myself, and took Kurt's advice. I didn't know what to say, so I sang into the phone.

**BLAINE**

Remember all the things we wanted  
Now all our memories, they're haunted  
We were always meant to say goodbye

Even with our fists held high  
It never would've worked out right  
We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out  
I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop

I want you to know that it doesn't matter  
Where we take this road someone's gotta go  
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better  
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder  
But I know that you'll find another  
That doesn't always make you want to cry

Started with a perfect kiss then  
We could feel the poison set in  
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive

You know that I love you so  
I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know that it doesn't matter  
Where we take this road someone's gotta go  
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better  
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone  
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong  
I'm already gone, already gone  
There's no moving on so I'm already gone

Already gone, already gone, already gone  
Already gone, already gone, already gone, yeah

Remember all the things we wanted  
Now all our memories, they're haunted  
We were always meant to say goodbye

I hung up the phone and started crying. I had lost the greatest thing that had ever happened to me. He saved me, he brought light to my life, he was supposed to be my angel. I crawled into my bed and sobbed into my pillow.

* * *

_10:15 P.M._

There was a knock at my door. "Blaine, honey. Are you alright?" Mom.

I sniffed back my tears, "Yea mom. I'm fine. Just got a little sidetracked." I opened my door and stepped out into the hallway. My mom had a smile on her face.

"There's someone here to see you."

I raced down the stairs, hoping that it would be Sam. I got to the door only to see Ryder. I was a little disappointed, but Ryder wasn't too hard on the eyes.

"What's up Ryder?"

"Can we go outside? You're the only one that I can tell."

"Uh, sure." I grabbed my jacket from the closet and threw on a pair of slippers. Ryder and I walked into my backyard and took a seat on the patio. "What's up?"

"Blaine, Sam told me what happened. He sent me here. He couldn't stand to face you, so he sent me." Ryder reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper folded up into a square. "He wanted me to give this to you. He said only to open it after I've left."

I stood up, thinking that we were done, and started back into the house. Ryder put his hand on my shoulder and spun me around. "I want you to know that I'm not mad about what you did. Sam's my best friend, that's why he told me and trusted that I would give you that. I heard about what happened between you and Kurt, and now between you and Sam. You need to wake up Blaine. You can't keep doing what you are doing with guys. You wonder why everyone around you leaves, its because you do stupid things like this. Keep it up and you really will be alone. Or, you can change your attitude and maybe you'll find the right person one day."

I stood there in shock as Ryder walked around my house and drove away. I couldn't believe what he had just said to me. I was shocked that Sam would tell him about what happened. I was angry that Ryder had just yelled at me for my actions, which he didn't understand. Or did he?

Maybe he did know what he was talking about. I had to change. I looked down at the piece of paper in my hand and walked back inside.

"What was that about Blaine? It sounded like it got serious."

"Don't worry about it mom. I'm gonna go get some sleep. I love you."

My mom's face fell into a frown when I shot her down. "Alright. Sleep well."

I trudged up the stairs into my room and locked the door behind me. I turned off the lights, crawled into my bed and turned on the lamp on the table next to my bed. I carefully unfolded the note and began to read.

_Blaine, _

_At this point, you know exactly why I have not spoken to you today. I wish that I could say it was easy, but it wasn't. You were my best friend. You were the person that I trusted the most. After everything that happened over the weekend, I felt comfortable with you._

_However, I'm not so sure about that anymore. I listened to your voicemail and I appreciate the apology. I'm not sure if I am ready to accept it yet. By the time Ryder gives you this note, I will still be thinking about what it is I want to do and whether or not our friendship will continue._

_I am currently thinking of a new song to sing for Glee Club. It will answer the question of whether or not we will be able to be friends again after all of this. Please do not try to contact me tonight or speak to me tomorrow before Glee Club. If you do, it will be a definite no._

_I will see you tomorrow._

_Pleasant dreams, _

_Sammy._

* * *

**AN: I am super proud of this chapter. I can't wait to hear your feedback on it. I apologize again for the longer wait, but I hope this chapter makes up for it!**


	19. Making Memories

**THURSDAY**

* * *

_6:15 A.M._

I sat up out of bed and turned off my alarm. I fell asleep last night with Sam's note still in my hand and it stayed there all through the night. I wasn't sure if what had happened last night was real or not until I opened the note and read it again.

_Pleasant dreams, _

_Sammy._

Sammy. The name that I gave him, that he would only let me call him. Did he do that just because the note was for me or was there something more to it? Did that mean that things were going to be okay? Were things going to go back to the way that they used to be?

I fought my way out of my bed and stood up. I couldn't think about Sam. I couldn't have another day like yesterday. I needed to get my head back into the right place. I rubbed my lower back. I must have slept weird because it felt really tight. I reached up and stood on my toes. If I wasn't so short, I probably could reach my ceiling. That's definitely one thing I wish I could have gotten from my father.

I laid down on the floor, flat on my back. I started doing sit-ups. Exercise was always a good way for me to get my mind off of whatever I need to stop worrying about. Lucky for me, that happens enough that I can keep a somewhat attractive physique. I rolled over and started doing push-ups. Pushing away all of my problems never worked. It was time to face it head on.

I stood up and looked in the mirror. My forehead shined with a slight amount of sweat. I took off the plain white t-shirt I wear to sleep and flexed in the mirror. I didn't have a problem with my body. Its what I was given, and I've made it the best that I could.

If I could, I would totally fuck myself. Any guy would be lucky to have me in their bed. Talent, good looks, great personality, and from what I've heard from other guys, pretty good in bed. What else could anyone want? I checked myself out in the mirror and stopped at my hair. The curly mess was just sitting on my hair like a plant that needed to be watered.

I walked into my closet, grabbed a white and purple striped button up and a black bow tie to round out the outfit. I put a glob of gel in my hair and smoothed it down into the perfect hairstyle. I looked at myself in the mirror one last time. "I am Blaine Anderson, here me roar."

**BLAINE**

Happiness, it hurt like a train on a track  
Coming towards her, stuck still no turning back  
She hid around corners and she hid under beds  
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled  
With every bubble she sank with a drink  
And washed it away down the kitchen sink

The dog days are over  
The dog days are done  
The horses are coming  
So you better run

Run fast for your mother and fast for your father  
Run for your children for your sisters and brothers  
Leave all your love and your longing behind you  
Can't carry love with you if you want to survive

The dog days are over  
The dog days are done  
Can you hear the horses  
'Cause here they come

And I never wanted anything from you  
Except everything you had  
And what was left after that too. oh.

Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back  
Struck from a great height  
By someone who should know better than that

The dog days are over  
The dog days are gone  
Can you hear the horses  
'Cause here they come

Run fast for your mother and fast for your father  
Run for your children for your sisters and brothers  
Leave all your love and your longing behind you  
Can't carry love with you if you want to survive

The dog days are over  
The dog days are gone  
Can you hear the horses  
'Cause here they come

The dog days are over  
The dog days are gone  
The horses are coming  
So you better run

The dog days are over  
The dog days are gone  
The horses are coming  
So you better run**  
**

* * *

_11:00 A.M._

Staring into the back of Sam's head for 45 minutes is not as easy as it sounds for me. It was just my luck that I would have to sit behind him again during Italian. There were plenty of times I just wanted to reach forward and mess up his hair, but I couldn't. If I wanted to have even a chance of being his friend again, I would have to act like I had never known him. I would do anything to be his friend again, but this was almost too painful.

Finally, the bell rang. I had to get out of there. Only one more class, and then lunch. If I could make it that long without talking to Sam, I knew that I could make it until the end of the day.

"Uh, Blaine. A word please." Signora Giotto called from her desk. I turned around and started walking towards her. She had a look of concern on her face. Once all of the other kids were out of the room, she leaned in close to me. "Blaine, you haven't been yourself the past few days. Is everything okay?"

"I've just been really tired. I'm still trying to catch up on all the sleep that I missed because of the musical, but with Regionals just around the corner, that's not going to be happening very soon."

"I understand. Its a very stressful time for you, it being your senior year and all. Just don't lose track of your grades. Now go."

"Grazie Signora." I turned around and walked out of the room.

I turned the corner towards the mathematics hallway. I felt someone place a hand on my shoulder and turned around. It was Ryder.

"Hey, what's up man?"

"Hey Blaine. I just wanted to apologize about last night. What happened was really uncomfortable for the both of us. When Sam told me what went down Tuesday night, I didn't know what to feel. I was pissed that you would do that, I was disappointed that you would let yourself do that, I was happy that you're moving on from Kurt, I was scared that I was going to lose Sam, and I was confused because I didn't know what to think. I didn't have a lot of time to process my own feelings about the situation before I showed up at your house. So I'm sorry if I came off like a dick, but I was just looking out for Sam. He's like a brother to me and I would do anything to protect him."

Ryder did kinda scare me last night. He came on really strong and I was worried that he was going to hurt me for hurting Sam. His apology meant a lot though, especially because I was worried that the entire Glee Club would soon enough be turning against me.

"Its alright Ryder. I understand where it is you're coming from. I've gotta get to class or I'm gonna be late, but I will talk to you later on." I turned around and started towards class, wanted to get out of this situation before it became any more awkward.

"Uh, Blaine!" I stopped and turned on a dime and saw Ryder staring at me. "I know what song Sam is singing today." He smiled at me and started down the stairs. I wanted to chase after him and ask him what it was or at least who sings it, but he was already gone.

I walked towards calculus, my head reeling with possible song choices. I was hoping that it was going to be something to let me know that we were going to be okay, but Sam always was unpredictable.

* * *

_1:50 P.M._

I was walking down the hallway with Tina. There was only one more class left until Glee. I hadn't seen Sam since lunch which was great and upsetting at the same time. His face always brightened up my day, but at least now I wasn't tempted to talk to him. If he was going to reject our friendship today, I was going to have to get used to not speaking to him.

"Blaine, are you okay?" Tina interrupted my thought process. "You seem like you're totally not here." She stopped me and stood in front of me. "Is it about Sam?" she whispered.

"Tina, I made a huge mistake Tuesday night with him. I tried apologizing a thousand times but he wouldn't speak to me. Ryder showed up at my house last night with a note from Sam and all it said is that his performance in Glee Club today would give me the answer that I need." I decided not to tell Tina the whole story, not just because she didn't need to know, but also so that she wouldn't judge me for it.

"Okay...but just remember, not everything works out the way we want it to. Be prepared for everything, and no matter what, I'm here for you."

I wasn't sure why Tina would say that. Did she want Sam to cut me off? Who the hell does she think she is saying something like that? Sam's my best friend and I'll be damned if I let our friendship go away just because of one stupid mistake I made. "Everything will be fine Tina. I'll see you at Glee Club."

I turned left, heading towards my last class of the day. I didn't even think about looking back to see if Tina was still standing there. She really needs to watch the way she says things because they can be taken the wrong way. If she wants my friendship with Sam to go down the drains, she's going to have to try a lot harder.

* * *

_3:20 P.M._

"Sorry I'm late Mr. Schue, I had to run home and grab my guitar." Sam walked into the auditorium and ran up on stage. "Can I still do my song?"

"Go right ahead Sam!" Mr. Schue motioned for everyone except Sam to get off the stage and take a seat in the audience. Sam walked backstage while we all took our seats. I was the last one off the stage and took a seat on the end. That way, if I needed to, I could just get up and run away and nobody could stop me.

He came back out with a stool and sat down in the center of the stage. Sam closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and looked at us all. There was a moment of eye contact between the two of us before Sam began. "I'm gay." The members of New Directions that didn't already know were all taken aback by Sam's declaration. I was instantly proud of Sam for finally working up the courage to come out to the rest of the group. "I've known for a while now, but never really had the courage to admit it. The first time I admitted it to anyone was during the senior lock-in after the musical. Brittany, Artie, Tina," he swallowed before he could say my name "Blaine, thank you all for keeping my secret as if it was one of your own."

I saw Sam wipe a tear away from his eye as the people around me were still trying to process the news. They couldn't believe that Sam, the hunky quarterback who seemed to have a new girlfriend every month could be gay. I sat there on the edge of my seat, waiting for the next words to come out of Sam's mouth.

"There was one person that really inspired me to be myself. His courage gave me the courage that I needed." Ryder, who had been sitting in front of me turned around and smiled. We both knew that he was talking about me. "If it weren't for that, I don't think I ever would have owned up to my real sexuality. I never would have been able to feel comfortable admitting something so personal to myself, let alone my friends. That's what this song is about. I have some of the greatest friends in the world, and I wouldn't trade them for anything. I know you guys will always have my back, and I will always have yours."

**SAM**

Oho, oho, oho, oho, oho, oho  
Remember make believe in you  
All the things I've said I do  
I wouldn't hurt you like the world did me  
Keep you safe, I'd keep you sweet

Everything that I went through  
I'm grateful you won't have to do  
I know that you will have to fall  
I can't hide you from it all

But take the best of what I've got  
And then you know no matter what  
Before you walk away you know you can

Run, run, run,  
Back to my arms, back to my arms  
Run, run, run  
Back to my arms, they will hold you down  
They will hold you down

Sam's voice began to crack as his emotions began to get the better of him.

Here's the bloody, bloody truth,  
You will hurt and you lose  
I've got scars you won't believe  
Wear them proudly on my sleeve

I hope you have the sense to know  
That sadness comes and sadness goes  
Love so hard and play life loud  
It's the only thing to give a damn about

But take the best of what I've got  
And then you know no matter what  
Before you walk away you know you can

Run, run, run,  
Back to my arms, back to my arms  
Run, run, run  
Back to my arms, they will hold you down  
They will hold you down

All this time I swear I'm never wasting  
All your smiles I'm always gonna save it  
Put it in the back of my mind,  
Whenever I'm away from you

Sam looked right at me and smiled. It was the first time that our eyes had met for longer than half a second.

All this time I swear I'm never wasting  
All your smiles I'm always gonna save it  
Put in the back of my mind  
Whenever I'm away from you

Run, run, run, back to your arms, back to your arms  
Run, run, run, back to your arms,  
and they will hold you down

Sam stood up, putting his guitar on the floor and opening his arms up. He finished the song a capella.

Run, run, run,  
Back to my arms, back to my arms  
Run, run, run  
Back to my arms, they will hold you down  
They will hold you down.

When Sam finished, the room exploded in applause. Sam was on the stage in tears, with a smile on his face and his arms still stretched out. I got up from my seat, ran up on the stage and towards Sam. He turned towards me and I ran into his arms.

I had my best friend back.

* * *

_5:30 P.M._

I opened the front door to my house and walked inside. I stopped and admired the beautiful weather outside before closing the door behind me. I rushed up the stairs, taking two at a time. I headed towards my room and flopped onto my bed. I put my hands behind my head and stared up at my ceiling. It was a great day. Everything was back to the way that it used to be.

I stood back up and looked in the mirror. My smile hadn't left my face since Sam finished his song. For once, my smile was genuine again.

I went back downstairs and went into the kitchen. There was a note from my mom on the counter saying that she probably wouldn't be back until I was already asleep. I thought about calling Sam to see if he wanted to hang out, but after what happened the last time he came over, I guess that wouldn't be such a good idea.

I had to find something to do. I didn't have any homework tonight and I didn't have any plans either. I guess I could enjoy a night by myself. Mom wouldn't be home, so I could walk around naked. I can't remember the last time I did that.

I went back upstairs, took off my shirt and bow tie and threw them in the wash. I undid my belt and pulled it out slowly. I dropped my pants to the floor and stepped out of them, hanging them over the side of my chair. My orange briefs clung tightly to my hips and butt. I looked at myself in the mirror as I ran my hands down my body and over the bulge in my pants.

I admired myself in the mirror a little longer. I knew that at the end of this, I was going to have the desire to text Sam. I didn't want to do anything I would regret. I have to take it easy with him and make sure that we are on good terms and we can stay that way. Almost two days without talking to him almost made me want to kill myself. I can't imagine a lifetime without him in it.

I didn't bother putting my clothes back on as I didn't really plan on going anywhere. I grabbed my phone and decided to call Kurt and update him on what was going on. The phone rang four times and then went to his voicemail. He was probably busy with school or hanging out with Rachel.

"Hey, you've reached Kurt Hummel. Leave a message and I'll give you a call back when I get the chance. Mwah!"

"Hey Kurt, its Blaine. I just wanted to update you on my Sam dilemma. Please give me a call back when you can. Thanks."

* * *

_7:45 P.M._

I'll just move this over here, and perfect. My closet is finally organized. I took a step back and admired my hard work. Yea, it looks like a gay pride flag threw up all over my closet, but I'll never have to go searching for another specific color again. All of the reds are on the left, all of the purples are on the right. My bow ties are in clearly marked boxes for stripped, solids, and spotted. Its like a dream come true and it only took me two hours.

I went downstairs to get something to drink. Who knew closet organization would be so exhausting? I poured myself a glass of iced tea and sat down on the couch. I flipped through the TV channels, but as usual, nothing interesting was on. Everything was reruns that I've already seen plenty of times. My phone pinged with a new text message. I grabbed it right away, hoping it was Sam.

**Kurt: **Hey, sorry I didn't answer earlier. I was out with Adam all day.

I probably should have assumed that earlier when I called.

**Blaine: **Its no problem. Are you free now?

Seconds after the message had sent, Kurt was calling me.

"Hey Kurt!"

"Blaine! How are you?" He paused for a moment and asked in a whisper, "Everything okay?"

"Better than okay. Great."

"What happened? I wanna know everything." This was the first time since he left for New York that Kurt seemed to take a genuine interest in what was going on in my life. It was nice having my friend back, but it was still a little uncomfortable knowing what we had put each other through.

"Well, last night, Sam sent Ryder to my house with a note. It said that Sam's song for Glee Club this week would give me the answers that I needed. So of course, I was all freaked out today about whether or not we would ever be friends again. So, the day ends and Sam isn't at Glee and I'm freaked. He showed up almost an hour late because he forgot his guitar at home."

"Wait, it took him an hour to get his guitar? Did he get lost or something?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "Well, you know Sam. Anyway, he comes back and gives his little talk about the song. It was pride week and he said that it was all about how proud he is of the friendships that he's made."

"Well, what song did he sing?

"'Run' by Pink and it was beautiful. Afterwards, I ran up on stage and just gave him a big hug."

"Blaine that's great. I'm glad things are getting back to normal for you. Just remember, think with your head, not your penis."

"Haha, thanks Kurt. How are you and Rachel doing up in New York?"

"Oh, I'm fine. NYADA is a lot tougher than I thought it would be, but Rachel seems to be holding her own. Sadly though, around the apartment, she's back to high school Rachel Berry. High maintenance, pushy, demanding, the whole nine yards."

"Can't say I'm surprised. She doesn't have someone like Santana up there calling her out on it."

"Oh I'm about to. I've almost had enough of it."

"Just remember that you two will always be friends. Tell her its bugging you, but don't go Lima Heights on her."

Kurt started laughing and I soon followed. "Oh gosh Blaine. I miss you a lot. I have to go, but I promise we'll talk soon. Okay?"

"Sounds great Kurt. And thanks for still being there."

"I always will be." We said goodbye and we hung up at the same time.

* * *

_9:35 P.M. _

**Sam: **Meet me at my tree at 9:30.

I looked at the time on my phone again, it read 9:35. I was looking right at Sam's tree, the same one he'd shown me the other morning, but he wasn't there. I walked towards it, thinking maybe I just couldn't see him because it was dark out. As I got closer, I still didn't hear him.

When I was about 50 feet from the tree, I began to hear something. Sam emerged from behind the tree with his guitar strapped over his shoulder. His face glowed in the light from the streetlamps lighting the path in the park. He motioned for me to sit down underneath the tree while he sang.

**SAM**

My mother bought it secondhand  
from a silent movie star  
It was out of tune  
but still I learned to play

And with each note we both would smile  
forgetting who we are  
And all the pain would simply  
fly away

Something secondhand and broken  
still can make a pretty sound  
Even if it doesn't have a place to live

Oh, the words were left unspoken  
when my Mama came around  
But that Secondhand White Baby Grand  
still had something beautiful to give

Through missing keys and broken strings  
the music was our own  
Until the day we said our last goodbyes

The baby grand was sent away  
A child all alone,  
to pray somebody else would realize

That something secondhand and broken  
still can make a pretty sound  
Even if it doesn't have a place to live

Oh, the words are still unspoken  
now that Mama's not around  
But that Secondhand White Baby Grand  
still has something beautiful to give

For many years the music had to roam  
Until we found a way to find a home  
So now I wake up every day and see her standing there  
Just waiting for a partner to compose

And I wish my mother still could hear  
that sound beyond compare  
I'll play her song till everybody knows

That something secondhand and broken  
still can make a pretty sound  
Don't we all deserve a family room to live

Oh, the words can't stay unspoken  
until everyone has found  
That Secondhand White Baby Grand  
that still has something beautiful to give

I still have something beautiful to give

I stood up and applauded Sam. "That was absolutely beautiful Sam."

"Blaine, I know I was an ass to you the past few days. When I saw you standing there naked on Tuesday, I felt like you were just using me to try and satisfy your own needs. I was so hurt that I wanted nothing to do with you. I went home that night and cried my eyes out because I thought I would never be able to trust anyone ever again. My mom was watching old episodes of Smash last night and I heard this song. I knew that I couldn't let you go because of something as little as that."

"Why didn't you just talk to me Sam?"

"Because I still couldn't look at you the same way. I asked Ryder to give you the note because I needed another day to work up the courage to talk to you again. Even right now I'm freaking out about what either of us might do. I think the reason why this song spoke to me so much is because it describes our friendship perfectly. We're both broken and beat up, but together, we make an amazing pair. And that's what is so scary to me. You're the only person in the whole world that I'm not afraid to be myself around and I don't know what that means."

Sam's eyes started to water. He really was scared. He still wasn't used to being out and he needed a friend. I was that friend until I screwed up and made Sam question everything he thought he knew. I couldn't stop myself from grabbing Sam's hands and looking him in the eye. "Sam, I'm scared too. I thought I knew what love was while I was with Kurt. From spending time with you, I know that what I felt for Kurt was only a fraction of what true love really is. I care more about you than anyone else in the world Sam, and I promise that I will never, ever mess that up again."

Sam pulled me in for a hug and I felt moisture on my shoulder. Sam's eyes were still watery, and I planned on letting him stand there and cry for as long as he needed to. This was a new world for him and I needed to let him take his time exploring it instead of just throwing him right in.

* * *

_10:45 P.M._

Sam and I walked passed the tree for the 15th time. Sam keeps saying that he's terrified to tell his parents about being gay. They are both very conservative and Sam is worried that they will take the news the wrong way.

"Sam, they are your parents. They will love you no matter what you are."

"You don't know them Blaine. My dad didn't want me to join Glee Club because he said that it would turn me into a whimp. The only way I could convince him to be okay with it was by telling him that it would help me meet girls. I wanted to quit football two years ago, but my mom made me keep doing it. She said it would help keep me strong and all of the girls would want me. They don't understand that I don't care about any of that. I just want to be me."

Sam moved in a little closer to me. The entire time, I tried to keep a friendly distance between the two of us so I wouldn't be tempted to try and hold his hand or something that might scare him. I needed to wait until he was ready.

"Sammy," the boy smiled at the use of his nickname. "You have to tell them sometime. Look, tomorrow after school, I'll follow you to your house. I'll do the same thing you did for me when I went to talk to Kurt. I'll be outside the whole time."

Sam stopped in his tracks. "You would really do that for me Blaine?"

I turned around and looked into Sam's wide eyes. "I would do anything for you Sam."

Sam looked down at his phone, "Oh shit, its getting late. I need to get home."

"I probably should too. I'm not sure when my mom will be home, but I gotta make sure I'm there before she does." We walked back to our cars and hugged one last time. "I'll talk to you tomorrow Sammy."

"Bye Blaine. Thank you again for showing up tonight. And I'll let you know about tomorrow after school. I have to sleep on it tonight." He kissed my forehead and got into his truck. I walked around his truck while he started it up and got into my own car. I waited for Sam to pull out and then I followed him back into Lima.

My heart tells me that Sam is the one. I want nothing more than to be able to bring him home and reintroduce him to my mom as my boyfriend. I want to hold his hand during school, kiss him before going to class, and spend every single minute being Sam's boyfriend. But I know that I can't rush it. Sam still has a lot of growing to do, as do I. Its easy to think you're ready to be in a relationship, but I don't think that you ever really are. As much as I know Sam and I get along, there is still a lot we both have to work on before we can really make it work. When Sam is ready for a relationship with a guy though, I just really hope that it is with me.

I pulled up in front of my house and my mom's car was still not there. I guess she really was going to be stuck at work all night. I walked up the pathway to my house while I sent her a text.

**Blaine: **Going to bed. I will see you tomorrow.

I opened the front door and locked it behind me. As I went up the stairs, I felt myself getting tired. I stripped off my clothes except for my briefs and climbed into bed. I looked at the background of my phone one more time. It was a picture of Sam and I in the park just a few minutes ago. He had his arm wrapped around my shoulder and we both had smiles on our faces that were genuine. I smiled that same smile and thought back to the conversations that Sam and I had shared tonight. I would never forget running into his arms after his performance in Glee Club, or his raw emotion while singing tonight at the tree. I promised that I would always be there for him, and I planned to hold true to that promise.

My only hope is that there are going to be plenty more memories like tonight with him.

* * *

**AN: Of all of the chapters I've written, this is probably one of my favorites. The songs that I chose are three of my absolute favorites and I've been waiting for the right time to use them. I am very excited for Chapter 20 because I have some very interesting things planned for this section of the story and its all going to start there. Please continue reviewing the story as I do take your comments into consideration when writing. **


	20. Double Whammy

**AN: I thought that this chapter was going to go quickly, but I was stuck towards the end. I knew what I wanted, I just couldn't get it into words. I think I managed to get the message across. Warning you now, that this chapter is a very emotional chapter, but all necessary. The weekend is here and there is a lot in store for our boys.**

* * *

**FRIDAY**

* * *

_7:35 A.M._

"Hey Blaine!" Just as I was halfway across the parking lot, I turned around and saw Sam running to catch up to me. Having my best friend back was a thousand times better than I had ever hoped it would be. When I woke up this morning and turned my phone on to see the two of us smiling in the park, butterflies filled my stomach, just as they were now that he was approaching me. "How'd ya sleep last night bro?" Sam wrapped his arm around my shoulder as we walked into the school.

"The best sleep I've had all week." I wrapped my arm around Sam's waist and we walked into the school together without a care in the world. It was great to see Sam so comfortable around me again. I pushed open the front door and immediately felt eyes on Sam and I. News of Sam's homosexuality spread quickly through McKinley. His phone last night had practically been exploding with texts asking if it was true.

"Well well well, what have we here?" Phil Lipoff, Bobby Surette, and a couple other members of the football team surrounded Sam and I in the hallway. I looked at their hands and saw the slushie cups and knew what was about to happen. "If it isn't Miss Congeniality himself, Blaine Anderson. So charming you managed to turn Sam gay? How'd you manage to do that, rape him?"

Before I could begin to protest, Phil jerked his hand towards me. I knew what was coming and I flinched, but the slushie stayed in the cup. "Keep you and the rest of your faggot friends away from me and my boys. The last thing any of us want is more of your gay stink up in this building." The blue slushie flew through the air and right into my face. It wasn't the first time it had happened, and it probably wouldn't be the last considering there were seven or eight other guys surrounding us with slushies.

"Back the hell off Phil. Blaine didn't make me anything. I am who I am, and you're just gonna have to deal with it." Sam tried to break through the line of football players, but they far outnumbered the two of us. Well, considering that I was busy trying to wipe all the sugar out of my eyes, I guess I wasn't really of much help anyway.

Before I knew it, there was more slushie flying and in a matter of seconds, Sam and I were both painted in a variety of colors. Everyone else just stood by and watched as the two of us ran into the bathroom. As a member of the football team, the amount of slushie that Sam had ever had to endure wasn't nearly as much as the rest of us. He wasn't taking this one very well either. His jaw was chattering, his lips were turning purple, and his eyes were bloodshot. I had never seen him that vulnerable before. He always appeared so strong and resilient that the person standing in front of me, clutching the sink, didn't seem like Sam at all.

"I'm guessing you don't have enough spare clothes for the both of us, do you?" Sam picked his head up and looked at me. His eyes were still watering with the pain of knowing that he wasn't going to be accepted by everyone for who he was.

"No, I don't. I don't really think they would fit you very well either considering how broad your shoulders are compared to mine." I teased Sam, trying to get him to smile a little bit. I could tell that it didn't work because he turned his head back towards the sink and took slow, deep breaths. "Look, I'll change in here really quick and then run down to the locker room and get your gym clothes. Those should be enough to hold you over for the rest of the day. For right now, get out of those wet clothes before you get sick or something."

I walked into a bathroom stall and started to change. I listened for Sam to start moving into the stall next to me, but he never did. He was probably waiting for me to leave before he started to change.

I finished up and opened the door. Sam was standing in the middle of the bathroom in his underwear. A small gasp escaped my mouth, but it was loud enough for Sam to hear and turn towards me. "What? Its not like you haven't seen me in briefs before." A small smirk crossed his face. It was glad to Sam's spirits starting to get lifted again.

"That is true, I definitely have. Now I'm going to go before I get any more turned on by this. I'll be right back, just hang tight." I made my way out of the bathroom.

I stopped into Mr. Schuester's office to drop off my wet clothes. He let me in with a puzzled look, but when he saw my wet clothes, he knew what had happened. "We've really got to do something about this slushie business. Its gone unnoticed for way too long." Mr. Schuester looked concerned. He knows how tough the Glee kids have it around here, even if we were national champions.

"I know. I've gotta go, they got Sam and I promised I would bring him his gym clothes to wear. I'll see you later Mr. Schue!" As I walked down towards the gym, I couldn't help but wonder if Sam had fully thought through everything that he would have to deal with when he came out. It was one thing for him to come out so publicly, it was another for him to be seen walking around McKinley so close to me. He should have known it would have set some people off. I had to do something to keep him safe, even if it meant keeping a little bit more distance between us.

* * *

_11:50 A.M._

I walked towards the lunch table where the rest of New Directions sat. As much as I wanted to sit next to Sam, I couldn't let what happened this morning happen again. I needed to look out for his best interests instead of my own. I owed the kid that. I took the seat next to Marley, three seats away from Sam.

It was hard to look at him without wanting to press him up against a wall. His gray "Property Of McKinley Football" t-shirt showed off his muscular arms and broad shoulders. His blue basketball shorts left his strong legs bare. He looked at me with confusion as I deliberately avoided the chair he had been saving for me. I mouthed to him that I would explain later.

As I sat down, I saw Phil and Bobby walk by. They whispered back and forth and kept looking at Sam like he was a piece of raw meat. I wanted to get up and tell them to leave him alone and if they had a problem, to take it up with me. But I knew that I could never do that. I did want to protect Sam, but at the same time, that would have been suicide. I ignored what I was seeing and tried to eat something.

For the most part, lunch was a blur. I tried not to look in Sam's direction because I didn't need anyone associating the two of us any farther. It was for his own good as much as it hurt.

**BLAINE**

Oh, nowhere left to go  
Are we getting closer? Closer?  
No, all we know is "No"  
Nights are getting colder, colder

Hey, tears all fall the same  
We all feel the rain  
We can't change...

Everywhere we go we're looking for the sun  
Nowhere to grow old, we're always on the run  
They say we'll rot in Hell, but I don't think we will  
They've branded us enough, "Outlaws of Love".

Scars make us who we are  
Hearts and homes are broken, broken  
Far, we could go so far  
With our minds wide open, open

Hey, tears all fall the same  
We all feel the rain  
We can't change...

Everywhere we go we're looking for the sun  
Nowhere to grow old, we're always on the run  
They say we'll rot in Hell, but I don't think we will  
They've branded us enough, "Outlaws of Love".

Everywhere we go we're looking for the sun  
Nowhere to grow old, we're always on the run  
They say we'll rot in Hell, but I don't think we will  
They've branded us enough, "Outlaws of Love".

Outlaws of Love  
Outlaws of Love  
Outlaws of Love  
Outlaws of Love

* * *

_2:25 P.M._

"Mr. Anderson, you are needed in Principal Figgins' office." Mr. Jackson looked at me and nodded towards the door. What the hell could Figgins want with me? I don't think I've done anything wrong. Have I? Did I accidentally say something offensive to someone? Have my grades been slipping because I haven't been right this whole week? Maybe those assholes from this morning were finally getting what they deserved. Mr. Schue did say that he wanted something done about it.

My head rambled on with possibilities as I walked down the stairs and into the principal's office. Figgins always said what a strong student I was, I couldn't possibly imagine what he would need with me. I knocked lightly on the door and Figgins picked his head up from his paperwork. He motioned for me to come inside.

"Mr. Anderson. Please, have a seat." He pointed to the chair situated across from his desk. I pulled the chair out and hesitantly took a seat. Figgins clasped his hands together and looked at me with a look of worry. "You are not here because you are in trouble, Mr. Anderson, you can take a breath."

A sigh of relief passed through my body. This close to graduation, the last thing that I needed was something messing up my spotless record. I sat back in the chair, "Well, what's going on Principal Figgins? What's the big news?"

Principal Figgins adjusted in his seat and leaned forward onto his folded hands. "Mr. Anderson, there is no easy way to tell you this. It appears that your mother was in a car accident on her way home from work this afternoon."

My heart dropped and I couldn't understand what he just said. There was no way my mother was in an accident. "Surely you are joking. My mom is the most careful driver that I know."

"That she might be, but that does not mean that she cannot get into an accident. Somebody ran a red light and hit the side of her car. Luckily, they collided with the passenger side, otherwise she would not have made it. She is currently in the hospital being monitored. Many bones were broken and there was some internal bleeding."

The thought of my mother, lying on a hospital bed with machines hooked up to her body. It was absolutely absurd. This couldn't be happening. Figgins turned his computer screen towards me and there was an online article about the accident that he was talking about. A car that looked like my mom's was totaled in the middle of the road. It wasn't until I read the license plate that I knew that it was really happening.

There was no stopping the tears from coming down my face. I couldn't believe that this was happening to me. My mom was the only family that I had left, I couldn't lose her. She was the only person that had always been there. I needed her.

I didn't know how, but this day that was supposed to be the best day of the week just turned into the worst. I supposed to spend all day with Sam, having a great time. But now what was I going to do? My mother was in the hospital alone. I couldn't just leave her there. I couldn't be around anyone. My stomach was in knots and I could barely see straight. "Can I go to the nurse's office and lie down? I just, I can't be around anyone."

"Of course Mr. Anderson. I will let them know you are coming. My prayers are with you and your mother."

"Thank you" I whispered as I stood up slowly. I kept my hand on the chair to maintain my balance and stumbled out into the hallway. I managed to move down the hallway to the nurse's office before the bell rang, signaling the end of the day. I couldn't look at anyone. The nurse helped me into the back room and ushered me onto a bed. I laid down, tears still streaming down my face. The world around me was crumbling. My mom was in the hospital, Sam was getting bullied because of me, and there was nothing that I could do about it.

I closed my eyes and cried.

* * *

_3:00 P.M._

I watched as the red truck ran into the side of my mom's car. It all happened in slow motion. I stood across the intersection, screaming for the truck to stop, but nobody could hear me. I tried to run towards the wreckage, but my feet wouldn't move. I was helpless as I watched the smoke rising from the two automobiles, the glass falling from the destroyed windows, and the people screaming from the streets. I could feel myself shaking as I just stood there and watched.

"Blaine? Are you okay man?" I opened my eyes and saw Sam standing over me.

"Sam?" I was confused as to how he knew where to find me. "What are you doing here?"

"Figgins told Mr. Schue what happened, and he told me. He said that I needed to make sure you were okay. I am so sorry about what happened and wanted to make sure that you weren't by yourself."

I wrapped my arms around Sam and pulled myself up, resting my forehead on his shoulder. "I'll be fine," I whispered. "As long as I don't talk about it, I'll be fine. My mom is in good care and she'll be better before I know it." I pulled myself away from his, but his arms which had been wrapped around my back weren't allowing me to go far. "Thank you for coming though. Its nice to have someone here."

Sam pulled me back in for another hug and rubbed the back of my head. My fingers dug into his back. I didn't want to let him go. I knew in his arms, everything would be fine. They would have to pry him away from me before I let our friendship die again. This is what I needed right now, and I was going to take every moment that I could get. I felt Sam kiss my cheek and my grip on his faltered as he pull us apart.

"Mr. Schue said that I should take you home, but I couldn't help but notice that you didn't eat much at lunch today. Let's go get something to eat."

"Okay." Sam helped me stand up and once I had my bearings back, we walked out of the school together. We were the only ones in the hallway. Sam slipped his hand into mine and squeezed my hand, reassuring me that he was still here. "Can we make one stop after we are done eating Sam?"

"Of course Blaine. Where do you want to go?"

I squeezed Sam's hand just as he had done. "If you still want to, your house. I don't want my mom's accident to get in the way of talking to your parents. If you don't want to, we can do it another day, but I know you wanted to do it today."

Sam smiled a weak smile. He looked down at our hands and squeezed again. "Of course we can. As long as you promise to be there if something goes wrong."

"Sammy," I stopped and stood on my toes so my head was even with Sam's. "You know I will always be there for you." I closed my eyes and gently kissed Sam on the lips. When I opened my eyes again, the weak smile that was on Sam's face widened into a genuine smile.

"Thank you Blaine."

* * *

_5:15 P.M._

**Blaine: **Everything going okay in there?

I texted Sam 15 minutes after he went inside his house. I was starting to get worried for the kid, which mixing with my anxiety over my mom's accident this morning was not a good combination. When Sam and I left, we both agreed that I wasn't in the best position to drive, so he offered to drive and we could come back and get my car sometime tonight or this weekend.

I looked down at my phone and thought about calling Kurt or Rachel to tell them what had been going on today, but then I heard the driver's side door to Sam's truck open up. There were tears in his eyes and he kept his head in his hands.

"Sammy, what's wrong?"

Sam sobbed into his steering wheel. I could only guess how his parents had taken the news. Clearly, it hadn't been very well. I rubbed his back with my hand, trying to comfort him. "They kicked me out Blaine. They're disgusted by me." The words were so heavy, it had begun to make me upset. I couldn't let Sam see me cry right now. He needed me like I had needed him after I found out about my mom. "They said to never come back. They made me get all of my stuff, put it in bags and told me to leave. What am I going to do Blaine? My life is over. I don't have a family, everyone at school hates me except for Glee Club." Sam let out a loud cry.

It pained me to see him like this. First he got a face full of slushie this morning, and now he just got slapped in the face by his own family. How much of a beat down could one boy take? "Sam, it'll all be okay. They just need time to get used to it. I promise you, everything will be fine."

Sam was still crying. I had to let him go. All of these years of pent up emotions, always trying to keep a smile on his face, he needed to just let it all out. And I needed to be there for him. He'd been there for me countless times in the past week, and now it was my turn to step up and be his best friend. I shuffled closer to him and pulled him into me. I was going to let him sob into my shoulder for as long as he needed to.

As time went by, Sam slowly began to run out of tears. He picked his head up and looked at me, his eyes still glistening with tears. "Thank you for being here Blaine. If I hadn't known you were here, I'm not sure what I would have done."

"I already told you that you'll never lose me Sam. Now look, neither of us should be alone the next few days. I know its weird, but why don't you stay at my house. At least until your parents turn around and see that kicking you out was a dumb idea."

"Blaine," Sam's eyes began to fill with tears again, "would you really do that for me?" There was a glimmer of hope in his eyes, as if he could tell that at that moment that not everyone in the world was out to get him.

"Of course silly. What else are friends for?" Sam grabbed my head and kissed me. It took a minute for me to fully process what was happening, but Sam was kissing me. It wasn't at all unpleasant, but it had certainly caught me off guard.

He pulled away and looked at me with his jaw hanging from his head. "I'm sorry Blaine, I don't know wh-"

"Relax Sam. Don't apologize. Let's just get out of here. We both need some time to just be together."

Sam started his truck and we headed off to my house. We both figured we could just leave my car at the school until tomorrow when we were both calm. What we both really needed was to just lay down and relax.

I looked over at Sam who looked like he was going to break back into tears at any minute. I flipped through the radio stations, trying to find something that would cheer us both up. What I had found instead was something that I knew we were both feeling.

**BLAINE (SAM)**

Right from the start  
You were a thief  
You stole my heart  
And I your willing victim  
I let you see the parts of me  
That weren't all that pretty  
And with every touch you fixed them  
Now you've been talking in your sleep (oh oh)  
Things you never say to me (oh oh)  
Tell me that you've had enough  
Of our love, our love

**BLAINE/SAM**

Just give me a reason  
Just a little bit's enough  
Just a second we're not broken just bent  
And we can learn to love again  
It's in the stars  
It's been written in the scars on our hearts  
We're not broken just bent  
And we can learn to love again

**SAM (BLAINE)**

I'm sorry I don't understand  
Where all of this is coming from  
I thought that we were fine  
(Oh we had everything)  
Your head is running wild again  
My dear we still have everythin'  
And it's all in your mind  
(Yeah but this is happenin')  
You've been havin' real bad dreams (oh oh)  
You used to lie so close to me (oh oh)  
There's nothing more than empty sheets  
Between our love, our love  
Oh our love, our love

**BLAINE/SAM**

Just give me a reason  
Just a little bit's enough  
Just a second we're not broken just bent  
And we can learn to love again  
I never stopped  
You're still written in the scars on my heart  
You're not broken just bent  
And we can learn to love again

**BLAINE**

Oh tear ducts and rust  
I'll fix it for us  
We're collecting dust  
But our love's enough

**SAM**

You're holding it in  
You're pouring a drink  
No nothing is as bad as it seems

**BLAINE**

We'll come clean

**BLAINE/SAM**

Just give me a reason  
Just a little bit's enough  
Just a second we're not broken just bent  
And we can learn to love again  
It's in the stars  
It's been written in the scars on our hearts  
That we're not broken just bent  
And we can learn to love again

Just give me a reason  
Just a little bit's enough  
Just a second we're not broken just bent  
And we can learn to love again  
It's in the stars  
It's been written in the scars on our hearts  
That we're not broken just bent  
And we can learn to love again

**SAM**

Oh, we can learn to love again

**BLAINE**

Oh, we can learn to love again

**BLAINE/SAM**

Oh oh, that we're not broken just bent  
And we can learn to love again

* * *

7:30 P.M.

Sam was lying on my bed, staring up at the ceiling when I came back upstairs from getting something to drink. He didn't move when I opened the door, lost in his own world. He looked so peaceful laying there. All of his clothes were still thrown into his dark blue duffel bag that was at the foot of my bed. I picked up the bag and started taking some of his clothes out and folded them nicely so that they wouldn't get wrinkled.

It was complete silence in my room. His hands were behind his head and his breaths were long and slow. If he stayed there any longer, he probably would fall asleep.

"Hey Sam?" He didn't reply, he just continued staring up at the ceiling, motionless. "Sam? Are you okay?" Still nothing. I climbed onto my bed and laid down next to Sam, staring up at the ceiling with him. For the first time in almost 20 minutes, he finally moved. He brought his right arm down to his side and rested his hand on top of mine. I turned my head to look at him and saw that his eyes were closed and a tear running down his cheek.

"Thank you Blaine," he whispered. I squeezed his hand and he opened his eyes. He turned his head towards me and I could see that this whole time that he was lying in my bed, he had been crying. For the first time, I was looking at the real Sam. Afraid, hurt, and broken. The glow that he typically had about himself was gone and there was nothing but raw emotion on his face.

It was strange seeing Sam so heartbroken. This was nothing compared to how upset he was after things had ended with Mercedes. I almost didn't recognize the boy that was laying right next to me.

"You're welcome Sammy." Sam rolled over onto his side and wrapped his other arm around my body. "I love you," I said as I pressed my lips against his forehead and wiped away the tears that were forming under his eyes. Again he closed his eyes, but this time, he smiled. He looked so peaceful, as if nothing that had happened today had ever occurred. "And thank you."

Sam's eyes opened up. "For what?"

"For not leaving me alone today." I smiled and felt my own eyes starting to water. "I don't know what would have happened if you-" Suddenly, Sam's lips were on mine again. He always seemed to know the perfect moment to kiss me before I really start to cry. It calms me down and everything else just seems to melt away. His hands began to roam my body. Shivers ran down my spine at his touch, but I didn't want it to stop.

I rolled over so that I was laying on top of him, our lips never parting. My hands found their way to his cheeks and held his head still while we made out. His hands ran their way down my body and settled at the small of my back. I moved my lips slowly down his neck. I heard a small gasp escape his lips. "Blaine."

I stopped in my tracks and looked at Sam. "What's wrong?" Perhaps I had gone too far again.

"Nothing." Phew. "Its just," Oh fuck. "This isn't how I want to try and get over everything, and I know its not how you want to either." Dammit, I did it again. "Its not that I'm not enjoying it." Sam motioned towards his shorts which were now sporting a rather large bulge. "And I can tell that you are too." True story. "But now just isn't a good time."

I climbed off of Sam and laid back down on my side, facing him. I put my hand on his chest. I could feel how strong and muscular it was through his shirt. "Okay babe. That doesn't mean we can't just lay here together for a while though."

Sam turned his head towards me and smiled, "Of course not."

* * *

10:35 P.M.

I opened my eyes and looked over at my clock. Shit, I must have fallen asleep. I looked back over my shoulder and saw that Sam was still lying there on his back. At some point, he must have taken his shirt off because his bare torso was exposed. I sat up and noticed that the blankets on my bed were covering Sam's lower half. I remember him saying once that he liked to sleep in the nude, and I wondered if being in my bed would stop him from making himself comfortable.

I felt myself starting to reach for the covers to pull them up and take a look, but I stopped myself. What the hell was I doing? Sam just told me that this is not the time for stuff like this. I've already freaked him out once and almost lost it. I'm not going to run the risk of waking it up and losing him for good. I rolled onto my back and sat up. I accidentally bumped Sam's shoulder as I did so and his body jerked as he woke up.

"Wha-what happened? Did I fall asleep?" Sam was looking around like he had no idea where he was. I couldn't help but laugh. Sam gave me a look and hit me with a pillow. I turned my back to Sam and climbed out of my bed. Based on the movements I could feel, I was guessing that he was doing the same. I wanted to see if he had in fact been sleeping in the nude, but I decided against it yet again. I had to be a good friend, not a sexual deviant.

"Its such a nice night." Without thinking, I turned my head to look at Sam who was now standing at my window. He was wearing shorts, but his shirt was still on the floor. "Hey, I have an idea," Sam said as he turned to face me. "Why don't we sleep outside tonight? We can camp out under the stars. It'll be awesome."

The last time I could remember ever sleeping outside was when I was still in middle school. Cooper had been celebrating a birthday with a bunch of his friends. They were all too loud and I couldn't sleep, so my mom told me to sleep outside where it would be quieter. Unfortunately, it started to rain in the middle of the night, so I had to take shelter underneath the table on our back porch. I was sick the next three days.

"Come on Blaine, it'll be fun!" Sam urged me on with his idea.

"Alright, why not. Go down to my basement and get two sleeping bags. They should be right next to the safe. The biggest ones are on the bottom, get those. I'll go outside and move some of the furniture on the porch around so we don't have to worry about getting mud everywhere."

I followed Sam down the steps and turned outside while he opened the door to the basement. I opened the back door and took in the fresh air. There was something about nighttime that gave it its own smell. I couldn't describe it, but it was very calming. I looked up at the moon and thought of how my mom would always tell me stories of the man that lived on the moon and how he would always smile back at whoever looked up at him. I wished that my mom had been here with me, but it was going to take some time until she would be able to come home.

I shook my head and started moving some stuff around. I couldn't keep thinking about my mom, as selfish as that sounded. I had to try and keep my composure, not just for my own sake, but for Sam's as well. He was hurting more than I could probably ever imagine and he needed someone strong. I stood up and felt Sam's arms wrapped around my waist and his lips brushed against my ear.

"I could only find one sleeping bag," he whispered. "Not that it should be a problem." I put my hands on top of Sam's and smiled. Wait a minute, I know for a fact there were at least four sleeping bags down there. I just saw them the other day. Sam was lying. He wanted to sleep in the same bag as me. My heart started to beat faster. It was going to be a lot harder to control myself around him tonight than I thought that it would be. Now we would be pressed up against each other all night, with very little room.

"Sam, are you sure?"

Sam turned me around. The moonlight bounced off his face. He had thrown a black tank top on that showed off his arms and chest. "Positive. And hey, this way, if either one of us has a nightmare, the other one is right there."

I guess he had a point. How did anyone expect me to pass up the chance to sleep with Sam Evans? Especially since it was his idea.

* * *

11:45 P.M.

Sam yawned and stretched his arms over his head. I could tell his eyes were starting to get heavy. I didn't blame him for being exhausted. We've both had really rough days. "Sammy, if you want to go to bed, I don't mind. I'm getting tired too." Sam stood up and lifted his tank top over his head. I couldn't believe I was about to spend a night in the same sleeping bag as him. It was like a dream come true. Sam pulled his shorts off and started to take off his underwear.

"Uh Sam, what are you doing?" I asked Sam with my eyes wide.

"I usually don't wear anything when I sleep. I'm more comfortable that way."

As if it wasn't enough that Sam was already comfortable sharing a tight sleeping space with me, he was willing to do it naked. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Normally, I would have jumped at the change. "Sam, you realize we are sharing a sleeping bag, right?"

"Yea. What's your point?"

"It'll just be really awkward I think. I'll go get another sleeping bag." I started back into the house when I felt Sam grab my arm.

"No. I'll leave my briefs on if it'll make you feel more comfortable."

I turned and saw Sam. He had a pleading look in his eyes. He really did want to do this tonight. He didn't want to be left alone, and I didn't blame him. We both needed each other tonight. "Okay." Sam's eyes lit up and he pulled me into him and held me close.

Sam climbed into the sleeping bag first and I squeezed my way in next to him. Luckily, Sam grabbed the biggest sleeping bag we had and there was just enough room that the two of us wouldn't be pressed up against each other all night. I wouldn't have minded if there wasn't, but I guess it'll be slightly easier to resist him with the tiniest bit of space between us.

I felt myself being pulled over by Sam. I laid flat on my back, looking up at the stars while Sam's hand found its way into my shirt. His hand moved its way from my stomach, up to my chest. Sam started playing with my nipples when he whispered into my ear, "Take off your shirt. Its warm outside and there's a lot of body heat in this bag."

I grabbed Sam arm and pulled it out of my shirt. What the hell was getting into him? He was probably just trying to keep his emotions from coming out, and he did that by being sexual. "Sam, what happened to 'now isn't the time'?"

**SAM**

I don't know but I think I maybe  
Fallin' for you dropping so quickly  
Maybe I should keep this to myself  
Waiting 'til I know you better

I am trying not to tell you  
But I want to  
I'm scared of what you'll say  
So I'm hiding what I'm feeling  
But I'm tired of holding this inside my head

I've been spending all my time  
Just thinking about you  
I don't know what to do  
I think I'm fallin' for you

I've been waiting all my life and now I found you  
I don't know what to do  
I think I'm falling for you.  
I'm falling for you.

As I'm standing here and you hold my hand  
Pull me towards you and we start to dance

All around us  
I see nobody  
Here in silence  
It's just you and me

I'm trying not to tell you  
But I want to  
I'm scared of what you'll say  
So I'm hiding what I'm feeling.  
But I'm tired of holding this inside my head

I've been spending all my time  
Just thinking about you  
I don't know what to do  
I think I'm fallin' for you

I've been waiting all my life and now I found you  
I don't know what to do  
I think I'm fallin' for you.  
I'm fallin' for you.

Oh, I just can't take it  
My heart is racing  
Emotions keep spinning out.

I've been spending all my time  
Just thinking about you  
I don't know what to do  
I think I'm fallin' for you

I've been waiting all my life and now I found you  
I don't know what to do  
I think I'm fallin' for you.  
I'm fallin' for you.

I think I'm fallin' for you

I can't stop thinking about it  
I want you all around me  
And now I just can't hide it  
I think I'm fallin' for you

I can't stop thinking about it  
I want you all around me  
And now I just can't hide it  
I think I'm fallin' for you.  
I'm fallin' for you.

I had tears in my eyes by the time Sam was done singing. I couldn't control it anymore. I took off my shirt, rolled on top of Sam and started to kiss him. His hands went straight to my shorts and started to slide them off of my legs. I didn't protest. This was something that we both secretly wanted. He threw my shorts out of the sleeping bag and broke from the kiss. We looked each other in the eyes and at the same time, reached into the sleeping bag and pulled our underwear off. As soon as both of our briefs were on the porch, our lips crashed together again.

I couldn't believe that this was happening. Sam and I were lying together, completely naked, outside. Our bodies pressed together like that was what they were meant to do. I didn't want this moment to end ever. Sam said he was falling for me, and I had already fallen so hard, I was never going to be the same again.

I pulled away from the kiss. "I love you Sam."

"I love you Blaine. Don't ever leave my side."

"I won't." I pressed my lips back against his and let his hands explore my body.

I knew right there that Sam was the one. I could only hope that I was the one for him too.


	21. Please

**SATURDAY**

* * *

_2:30 A.M._

Sam's breathing became slow and steady as he fell off to sleep. I looked up at the moon, not quite full, and knew that I had made the right decision. Sam kept wanting to have sex, but I refused. As much as I would have loved to mess around with the boy, Sam's emotions are all over the place right now. I wouldn't want him to do something that he would just end up regretting later on. Until everything is sorted out in both of our lives, we can't make any huge decisions. For now, we'll just have to be friends.

Friends who share a sleeping bag and sleep naked together. Friends who make out with each other. Friends who are probably going to be more than friends soon.

I looked up at the sky and got lost in all of the stars. The lucky thing about living in Lima is that there aren't a lot of streetlights, at least not around my house, so on a clear night, the sky is sprinkled with stars. Just above the moon was a star so bright, it looked like it could have been another planet.

Star light, star bright, the first I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might have the wish I wish tonight. Please let Sam's parents come around. They are everything to him and I don't want to see him so upset anymore. He deserves to be happy.

* * *

_8:05 A.M._

Sam's fingers woke me up. They were so delicate as they rubbed my chest and played with my nipples. I never would have guessed that Sam's strong hands could be so soft. I tried to lay as still as I could, so I wouldn't let Sam know that I was still awake. As long as he thought I was asleep, he wouldn't want to try anything.

His hands began to slowly make their way down my body. He rubbed down my arms, across my stomach and started to move down to my dick, which at this point was now making a tent out of the sleeping bag. I grabbed Sam's hand, startling him.

"Nuh, uh, uh. What did I tell you last night? No sex." I rolled over to look at Sam. I could still see the hunger in his eyes. There was also a hint of determination, as if he wasn't going to stop until he got what he wanted. I was a little worried that he was going to end up taking me by force, but he was already trying to make his way out of the sleeping bag.

"I've gotta take a massive whiz. Meet you inside babe," he said as he grabbed his underwear off the porch and ran inside my house. I wasn't sure if he realized that he had just called me babe, or if he did that on purpose. It wasn't that I minded, it just caught me off guard. I brushed it aside and climbed out of the sleeping bag. I put my underwear and shorts back on. The cool morning air made me shiver a little bit.

I rolled up the sleeping bag and threw it inside my house. I moved the furniture back to their right places. I went back inside the house and closed the door behind me. I loved having Sam around all the time. He took my mind off my mom. I couldn't keep worrying about her. She was in good care and if something was going wrong, I'm sure I would have heard by now. As far as I could tell, no news was good news.

I threw the sleeping bag back down in the basement. Sam was coming down the steps as I turned around. His chest was rising and falling pretty quickly. Unfortunately, he had put his underwear back on. I was really hoping to get another peek at his perfect body. We looked at each other and I could tell that he was breathing pretty heavily. I shook my head and turned around laughing, knowing that Sam had just masturbated in my bathroom again. Sam walked into the kitchen behind me and took a seat across the table from me.

It was complete silence while the two of us sat in the kitchen. I looked over at the stack of colored sticky notes my mom always wrote her notes on. The one on the top was blank, which only happened on days that my mom didn't have to work, which was practically never. Knowing that she was in the hospital, alone, killed me. I just wanted to see her, let her know that everything is okay. That I'm okay and she will be okay soon.

I heard Sam sniff and looked over at him. He was staring out the window like he was trying to find something. I wish I could have looked into his head to know what he was thinking. He had a look of loneliness that I'd never seen on anybody before. He just got thrown out of his house by his own parents. That was going to take a lot of time to fix, and I was going to have to make sure that he kept his spirits up.

**BLAINE**

You know I'd fall apart without you  
I don't know how you do what you do  
'Cause everything that don't make sense about me  
Makes sense when I'm with you

Like everything that's green, babe, I need you  
But it's more than one and one makes two  
Put aside the math and the logic of it  
You gotta know you're wanted too

'Cause I wanna wrap you up  
Wanna kiss your lips  
I wanna make you feel wanted  
And I wanna call you mine  
Wanna hold your hand forever  
And never let you forget it  
Yeah, I, I wanna make you feel wanted

Anyone can tell you you're pretty, yeah  
And you get that all the time, I know you do  
But your beauty's deeper than the make-up  
And I wanna show you what I see tonight...

When I wrap you up  
When I kiss your lips.  
I I wanna make you feel wanted  
And I wanna call you mine  
Wanna hold your hand forever  
And never let you forget it  
'Cause, baby, I, I wanna make you feel wanted

As good as you make me feel  
I wanna make you feel better  
Better than your fairy tales  
Better than your best dreams  
You're more than everything I need  
You're all I ever wanted  
All I ever wanted

And I just wanna wrap you up  
Wanna kiss your lips  
I wanna make you feel wanted  
And I wanna call you mine  
Wanna hold your hand forever  
And never let you forget it  
Yeah, I wanna make you feel wanted  
Baby, I wanna make you feel wanted

You'll always be wanted

I got up and sat down in the chair right next to Sam. His hands were on his lap. I grabbed his left hand and intertwined our fingers. "Let's go do something. We need to get our mind off of everything and enjoy the rest of our weekend."

Sam placed his other hand on top of mine. "As long as I'm with you, nothing else matters."

* * *

_10:25 A.M._

Sam and I got into his truck. I sat in the middle of the seat instead of all the way to the right like I should have. I just wanted to be next to Sam the whole time. It wasn't like we were going very far, just to that little spot in the park. Getting out in the fresh air was exactly what Sam and I had needed. As soon as we left my house, Sam's face began to brighten and I could feel all of the bad thoughts being left at the door.

I felt Sam's phone vibrate inside his pocket. "Blaine, can you check that?" I reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. "The password is Evans69. Don't you dare laugh."

"You couldn't have picked another password?" I rolled my eyes and punched the password in.

"You probably wouldn't want to know what my other idea was then," Sam smirked.

He was right, if that was the better of the two, I was a little worried as to what else was going through his head. I opened his texts and saw that there was a new one from Ryder. The picture ID for him was one of him flexing in the locker room, clearly not knowing that Sam was taking the picture. I wondered how many other of the football players Sam had snuck pictures of, but I didn't want to find out.

**Ryder: **Hey, you busy man?

"Uh, it was Ryder. He wanted to know if you were busy."

Sam looked at me for a second before putting his eyes back on the road. "I don't know Blaine. Am I?"

Last time Ryder hung out with Sam and I, I'm pretty sure I had made an idiot out of myself. It was nice hanging out with both of them though. They are both really attractive and similar in so many ways. I definitely wouldn't mind being between the two boys in the car or in the bed. "I guess not."

Sam made a sharp turn as we headed towards Ryder's house. "Let's go get some breakfast then. Let Ryder know we will be at his house shortly."

**Sam: **Nah. Be at your house shortly. Blaine is with BTW.

I know it was just wishful thinking, but Sam and Ryder were without a doubt the two most attractive guys in Glee Club. Spending the day with both of them would not be a problem. In fact, maybe luck will shine down on me and I'll get to see both of them strip down. But that's just wishful thinking.

* * *

_Noon_

I watched Ryder as he walked into my house. Something about him just seemed a little off. He excused himself to go to the bathroom and I followed him upstairs saying that I had to get something out of my room. When the three of us hung out last weekend, everything was fine. I noticed that ever since Sam came out in Glee Club, he was a little off kilter.

I waited outside the bathroom door for Ryder to come out. I didn't hear anything coming from inside, so I knew he was lying when he said he had to piss. The door opened slowly and Ryder flinched when he saw that I was standing in the hallway.

"Alright dude, what's wrong? You've been acting all kinds of weird since Thursday." Ryder's eyes fell to the floor. He grabbed my arm and pulled me into the bathroom with him. He slammed the door behind me and leaned against it. His eyes were still focused on the floor.

"Until I moved to McKinley, I had never met a single gay person in my entire life. I never thought that I would meet one. Then I joined New Directions and met you, but we never really talked much until last week and even then I still wasn't used to it. Then Sam comes out and it almost flips my whole world upside down. I'd always thought of gay guys as being more girly and stuff and never thought that someone like Sam could be gay."

Ryder was looking up at the ceiling now, avoiding eye contact with me at all costs. I could tell he felt a little awkward, and I understood. "Ryder, just because Sam and I both like guys, you know that doesn't make us any different."

Ryder sighed, trying to collect himself before he broke down, "I know that now. I didn't before. You and Sam are two of the nicest people I've ever met and you aren't ashamed of who you are. You're both great role models."

"Well I appreciate that Ryder. The last thing that I want is for you to feel awkward. Just remember that we're all people." I gave Ryder a reassuring hug. His grip on me tightened slightly before I pulled away. "Now come on, let's go back downstairs before Sam starts to assume things." A smile appeared back on Ryder's face as we walked out of the bathroom and back down the stairs.

Sam was standing in the living room in all of his shirtless glory. His back was turned to Ryder and I, so he was surprised when Ryder asked, "Uh Sam, wh-what are you doing?"

Sam turned around and eyed Ryder. He had that mischievous look in his eyes again. "Sorry man, its just Blaine is always dressed so formally that I wanted to get him to loosen up a little bit. Easiest way to do that is to make him comfortable in his own skin, so every time I've come over, we both strip a little bit."

Ryder looked over at me, his mouth agape. I couldn't help but blush a little bit, especially because Sam insinuated that Sam spends a lot of time at my house without a shirt on. Which I suppose is somewhat true. Ryder looked back at Sam, who was smiling that devious little smile of his. You could cut the awkwardness in the room with a knife. That is, until Ryder lifted his shirt over his head and dropped his shorts so that he was standing in his underwear, clearly trying to one up Sam.

I look at Ryder, completely mind fucked by what just happened. Five minutes ago he was telling me that he felt really awkward about having two new gay friends, something he'd never had before. Now he's comfortable enough to strip down in front of the both of us without a second thought otherwise. Ryder was just as much of a mystery to me as Sam was. Who knows what was going on in that boys head.

I looked back at Sam who was staring at me with one of his eyebrows arched. I looked over at Ryder who had a similar expression on his face. They were both waiting for something. It took a minute, but I realized that they were waiting for me. I was the only one still wearing a shirt. I rolled my eyes and pulled my shirt over my head. When I got it off, both blonde boys had a huge smile plastered across their faces.

In a way, I guess I had asked for this. I wanted to see them both strip down, and well, here they were. There was still a lot of Saturday ahead of us though, and who knew what else would happen today.

* * *

_2:10 P.M._

The three of us were all sitting on my back porch. I could tell that Ryder was starting to loosen up a little more, but he was still a little uncomfortable. I hoped that it didn't have anything to do with what happened with Sam earlier this week. I was worried that I would never be able to escape that dumb mistake. Sometimes though, things have to haunt us so we can grow from them.

Suddenly, "Everybody Talks" started to play. I looked around, trying to figure out where it was coming from. Ryder reached into his pocket and pulled out his. He looked at the screen, "Jake's calling." He answered the phone and put it on speaker so Sam and I could hear. "Hey man, what's up?"

"Nothing. I had plans with Marley but she bailed. You up to anything today?" Ryder looked at Sam and I. We all exchanged looks as if we were having a silent conversation. I hadn't really gotten to know Jake that well, and knowing that he was Puck's little brother, I could only imagine what he was like. At the same time, I didn't want the kid to have to spend his Saturday alone. I looked over at Sam and shrugged my shoulders as if to say that I didn't really care. Sam gave Ryder a thumbs up. "Nah, I'm just hanging with Sam and Blaine. If you wanna come over to Blaine, you're more than welcome."

There was a level of excitement in Ryder's voice that had been missing practically all day. At least now he would have another straight friend around, maybe he wouldn't feel so awkward. Ryder hung up his phone and looked at Sam. The boys were smiling, I could only imagine why.

Then it hit me. Jake was coming over to my house, where the rules was, underwear only. Jake was a pretty attractive kid, and along with Sam and Ryder here, I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to keep myself from getting noticeably excited. A day that was already going really well just got a lot better.

At least I wouldn't have to worry about anyone walking in on the four of us.

* * *

_4:30 P.M._

I stared at myself in the mirror, wondering exactly what the hell was going on in my life. There are three deliciously hunky boys sitting right outside my house. I was surprised at how eager they were to strip down and show off their stuff. I thought that with Sam and I both being gay, they would have been a little bit more reserved. Of course, if I looked as good as they did, I'd probably show it all off too.

I don't know what it is about that Puckerman family, but both of those boys are beyond sexy. When I first met Noah, I wanted him to do all kinds of things to me. Normally, I hate guys with cocky attitudes, but he was allowed to be because he was so hot. Then the rumors of Puckasaurus came around and I wanted to know if they were true or not. Still one of life's unanswered questions if you asked me. Then Jake auditioned for New Directions and we all found out he was Noah's half-brother. The first thing that I though of was if he had a Puckasaurus of his own.

The thing that made Jake so much different from his brother though is that Jake's sexuality sneaks up on you. Its not in your face like his brother's. He didn't boast about his sex life, but somehow you could just tell that he had experience and that he was good at it.

Then there's Ryder. Clothes on, he's a very cute boy. Cute smile, that sort of innocence that made you want to just be locked in a room with him and corrupt him. He reminded me a lot of Sam when I'd first met him. They looked almost identical, but Ryder's features were softer. Then he takes his shirt off and his bulging muscles are probably one of the last things that you would have seen coming. He's so smooth, but he looks like he would be incredibly rough in the bedroom.

And then of course, there's Sam. Every little thing about him was attractive. His muscles, his eyes, and his voice just pulls you right into him and like a drug, you almost start to need him. His attitude was the best thing about him though. He was the right amount of confident that he wasn't cocky, but he still took compliments and knew that boys and girls alike drooled over him. However, he was still reserved. There was more to Sam than anyone else knew, and there were things that everyone still had to learn about him. There was nothing more attractive than mystery, and Sam definitely had a lot of it.

This might be the last chance that I have to have all three of these boys together without shirts on. Hands down the three hottest guys at McKinley were all right downstairs and I had them all for the day. I was determined to make sure that it would be a day that none of us would ever forget.

**BLAINE**

I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock  
Your peacock, cock  
Your peacock, cock, cock  
Your peacock  
I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock  
Your peacock, cock  
Your peacock, cock, cock  
Your peacock

Word on the street, you got somethin' to show me, me  
Magical, colorful, Mr. Mystery, ee  
I'm intrigued, for a peek, heard it's fascinating  
Come on baby let me see  
Whatchu hidin' underneath

What's up your sleeve  
Such a tease  
Wanna see the show  
In 3D, a movie  
Heard it's beautiful  
Be the judge  
And my girls gonna take a vote

Come on baby let me see  
Whatchu hidin' underneath

I want the jaw droppin', eye poppin', head turnin', body shockin'  
I want my heart throbbin', ground shakin', shoe stoppin', amazin'

Are you brave enough to let me see you peacock?  
Don't be a chicken boy, stop acting like a biatch  
I'm a peace out if you don't give me the pay off  
Come on baby let me see  
Whatchu hidin' underneath  
Are you brave enough to let me see you peacock?  
Whatchu waiting for, it's time for you to show it off  
Don't be a shy kinda guy I'll bet it's beautiful  
Come on baby let me see  
Whatchu hidin' underneath

I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock  
Your peacock, cock  
Your peacock, cock, cock  
Your peacock  
I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock  
Your peacock, cock  
Your peacock, cock, cock  
Your peacock  
I wanna see ya

Skip the talk, heard it all, time to walk the walk  
Break me off, if you bad, show me who's the boss  
Need some goose, to get loose, come on take a shot

Come on baby let me see  
What you're hiding underneath

I want the jaw droppin', eye poppin', head turnin', body shockin'  
I want my heart throbbin', ground shakin', shoe stoppin', amazin'

Are you brave enough to let me see you peacock?  
Don't be a chicken boy, stop acting like a biatch  
I'm a peace out if you don't give me the pay off  
Come on baby let me see  
Whatchu hidin' underneath  
Are you brave enough to let me see you peacock?  
Whatchu waiting for, it's time for you to show it off  
Don't be a shy kinda guy I'll bet it's beautiful  
Come on baby let me see  
Whatchu hidin' underneath

I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock  
Your peacock, cock  
Your peacock, cock, cock  
Your peacock, cock

Oh my God no exaggeration  
Boy all this time was worth the waiting  
I just shed a tear  
I am so unprepared  
You got the finest architecture  
End of the rainbow looking treasure  
Such a sight to see  
And it's all for me

Are you brave enough to let me see you peacock?  
Don't be a chicken boy, stop acting like a biatch  
I'm a peace out if you don't give me the pay off  
Come on baby let me see  
Whatchu hidin' underneath  
Are you brave enough to let me see you peacock?  
Whatchu waiting for, it's time for you to show it off  
Don't be a shy kinda guy I'll bet it's beautiful  
Come on baby let me see

I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock  
Your peacock, cock  
I wanna see ya  
Your peacock, cock, cock  
You peacock  
I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock  
Your peacock, cock  
I wanna see ya

Come on baby let me see  
Whatchu hidin' underneath

* * *

_7:00 P.M._

The sun set was almost just as beautiful as the three boys that were all laying around me. I wanted to just freeze this moment forever. It was perfect. The phone rang from inside the house. As much as I didn't want to answer it, I had to since my mom still was in the hospital. I hadn't heard anything from her yet and hoped that it was good news from the hospital. Of course, there was still a part of me that was horrified it could be bad news.

I took a deep breath and answered the phone, "Hello?"

"Is this Blaine Anderson?" A male voice answered on the other end.

"It is. Who is this?"

"This is Dr. Howard at Lima Medical Hospital. How are you today Mr. Anderson?"

My heart began to speed up. "Okay I suppose. Yourself?" I took a seat at the kitchen table in case the news wasn't good.

"I am well. I have some news for you."

"What happened to my mom?" I began to panic. He was being too nice.

"Your mother is fine. She suffered some broken ribs, a broken arm and minor internal bleeding after the accident. Luckily, we got to her in time to fix her up. We are going to keep her here for another week so that we can keep an eye on her and make sure she stays as healthy as she currently is. Come Monday, you can visit her anytime that you would like."

A wave of relief washed over my body. "Thank you so much Doctor. Please tell my mother that I love her the next time you can and that I will see her soon."

"No problem Blaine. Enjoy the rest of your weekend." Dr. Howard hung up the phone and I couldn't help but start to cry. My mom was going to be okay. She wasn't going to die and she would be home in a week. That meant that Sam could still stay here with no questions asked for a little while longer. I knew his parents would come around eventually, and the sooner the better. Although I probably would miss spending so much time with him.

I collected back and walked back out onto the front lawn. I noticed that Ryder was missing. Sam and Jake were laying on the grass talking. It was almost like that hadn't noticed that Ryder was missing. I ran back inside the house to find the boy. He was probably just upstairs using the bathroom, but the last time he said he had to do that, he almost broke down. It was weird, but I almost felt the need to care for the boy like I had cared for Sam all week.

I knocked on the bathroom door quietly. A voice came from inside, "Who is there?" It was Ryder.

"Its Blaine. Are you okay?"

"Come in. Please." I was a little hesitant at first. Ryder needed me though. I cautiously opened the door and saw Ryder sitting on the floor, propped up against the wall. His eyes were red and puffy. Tears streaked down his cheeks. He buried his head back into his knees and let out another sob. I knelt down in front of him and rubbed the back of his head in an attempt to comfort him.

Ryder was mumbling to himself, but I couldn't understand what it was that he was saying. "Ryder, what's wrong?"

He slowly lifted his head up and looked at me through his tears. "I-I'm attracted to Jake." His head fell back down to his knees and he started to cry again.

I hadn't even thought for a minute that Ryder could be gay. The conversation we had just a few hours ago assured me of that. But it all made a little bit more sense now. He was struggling with his own sexuality. When Sam came out, he realized that just because he was a football player, that didn't mean he had to be straight. That's why he said Sam and I were such good role models. That's why he was so excited when he invited Jake to come over. That's why he was starting to open up a little bit more. He used Sam and I as examples and started to embrace himself for who he was.

And he was scared, just like Sam was.

* * *

_9:15 P.M._

"You guys should totally spend the night. Would that be cool with you Blaine?" Sam looked at me with a pleading look in his eye. I think he was as excited to have Ryder and Jake here as I was.

"Doesn't matter to me. My mom won't be home." I hadn't told Ryder and Jake about my mom yet. As far as they knew, she was away on business as usual.

"I'm down," Jake answered. "Not like I have anywhere else to be this weekend." I could tell he was still a little bit pissed about Marley bailing on him. I wasn't sure what her reasoning was, but I'm sure it was logical and Jake was just being a typical overreacting Puckerman.

"Ryder?" Sam looked at the other blonde, who clearly was in another world.

"Huh? Oh, uh, I don't know. Let me see if my mom's cool with it." He pulled out his phone and sent a text. I could tell he wasn't sure if he really wanted to. He just came to the realization that he might be attracted to Jake and that's scary for him. "I don't even have any other clothes to sleep in or change into."

Sam smirked, "In that case, just sleep naked." He winked at Ryder whose eyes immediately shot open and cheeks began to redden. I had to get him out of there.

"Ryder, can you help me bring sleeping bags up?" Ryder jumped up and bolted inside the house with me.

"Thank you for getting me out of there."

I looked back at Sam who was confused. I mouthed to him that I would explain later and walked down into the basement with Ryder. "What happened this afternoon that you were so freaked out?"

"The three of us were laying out on the grass. Sam was going on about all of his sexual fantasies, saying that one was to have sex in public." Typical Sam. He wanted everyone to see how attractive he was, but I wouldn't have guessed he would want to be that open. Of course, we did sleep together last night...naked. "Jake said that we should just do it right there then. He started to feel both of us up. At first I didn't protest, and neither did Sam. His hands were so rough that I was getting aroused quickly. I realized that I had to get out of there quick, so I bolted inside and into the bathroom. I couldn't get it to go down, so I took care of my business." Is my bathroom just masturbatory grounds for everyone now? What the hell. "I realized that it was another dude that was turning me on. That had never happened before and it scared the shit out of me. So I broke down and that's when you came upstairs.

"Ryder, are you sure it was Jake that turned you on? It was probably just a certain spot on your body that makes you excited. Everyone has one."

Ryder was shaking his head, "No, it was Jake. Nobody else has ever been able to turn me on with just a single touch. And all I could think about while I was upstairs was how I wanted to feel his touch all over my body. What's happening to me Blaine?"

"Nothing. Look, you're probably just overreacting. I know you didn't actually text your mom, I could tell you were faking it. Stay the night. You shouldn't be alone in the state that you are in. I promise you will wake up tomorrow morning and everything will be fine." I put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. He smiled weakly and grabbed three of the sleeping bags. I grabbed the one that I had thrown down this morning and we headed back outside.

I knew that I had lied to him, but I wanted to make sure that he calmed down. Ryder was going to have to figure out what was going on with him by himself. I couldn't help him too much. Just like Sam, he needed to figure himself out.

* * *

_10:30 P.M._

Ryder and I sat on the porch while Jake and Sam continued their argument about who should get the biggest sleeping bag.

"I'm the guest, I should get it." Jake protested. Technically, they were both guests, but Sam did pretty much live here now. But I don't think Jake knew that yet.

"So what pipsqueak? I'm taller, stronger, and I have a bigger dick."

A voice inside my head was screaming and I almost caught myself telling them both to whip it out. I controlled myself though, and let them continue to hash it out. I looked over at Ryder. His eyes were locked on Jake's body. I snapped my fingers in front of his face, bringing him out of his daze. The last thing that needed to happen tonight was Jake finding out that Ryder had a thing for him. Talk about awkward.

"Well if that's the case, why don't we just share it?" Jake teased. Sam being Sam just shrugged.

"Then you should know that I like to sleep in the nude." Sam smiled, more than willing to take Jake up on his offer of sleeping with each other. The thought of the two of those boys sharing a sleeping bag was both arousing and made me jealous. I wanted all these boys to myself. It was my house after all.

"Well I do too, so that shouldn't be a problem, should it?" Jake was playing Sam's game and doing it quite well. Last time I tried to play Sam's games, it didn't really end so well because I ended up naked and totally embarrassed. It was certainly entertaining to watch. Well, at least for me. I looked over at Ryder and I could tell he was trying to cover up the bulge that was growing in his pants. I didn't blame him of course, Sam and Jake were really hot.

"If you want to sleep on my cum stain, be my guest Puckerman." Jake threw the sleeping bag back at Sam in disgust. "That's what I thought." Sam turned and pretended to dramatically storm off after his victory. Jake and I couldn't help but laugh. However, my laugh wasn't a confident one. Did Sam really mean that, or was he just trying to convince Jake to give him the sleeping bag? Did something happen in the middle of the night that I didn't even notice?

I went to lean my head against Ryder's shoulder and almost fell over. I looked at the side of my porch and saw Ryder, in his sleeping bag, facing away from the rest of us. I felt bad for him. He was in a weird state of mind and all of the flirtatious joking going on certainly wasn't making it any easier. Sam tapped on my shoulder and pointed at Ryder. A look of confusion plastered across his face. I pulled out my phone and texted Sam. I didn't want to say anything out loud, at the risk of Jake hearing me or Ryder knowing that I spilled his secret.

**Blaine: **Ryder's confused. About Jake. He might have a thing for him.

Sam pulled his phone out seconds after I hit the send button. The screen lit up his face and his eyes widened in surprise. He put his phone back into his pocket and went over to talk to Jake. I couldn't really hear what it was they were saying, but a look of regret flashed across Jake's face. As the two continued their conversation, I laid my sleeping bag down next to Ryder's so that I could look at his face. He wasn't asleep. His eyes were open and just as red and puffy as they had been earlier. So much has happened to this boy in the last 24 hours.

"If you ever need to talk," I whispered so that the other guys wouldn't hear. "I'm here." A hint of a smile crossed Ryder's face. All he needed was to know that someone was there for him.

He mouthed the words "Thank you" as he closed his eyes. I stood back up and walked over to Sam and Jake. They both looked concerned about Ryder but I shook my head, letting them know not to worry about him.

Sam pulled me in for a hug and whispered, "Thank you for taking care of him."

* * *

_11:50 P.M._

It had been a long day for Ryder, so I understood why he decided to clock out early. We all let him sleep because we had all seen that he wasn't right at all.

"So Sam, I gotta know. When did you really know you liked dudes," Jake finally asked the question that I knew he had been wondering since Thursday. "I mean, you dated some of the hottest girls to walk the halls of McKinley."

"Well, it had started before I even got to McKinley."

This was when I started to tune out their conversation. I had already heard it before and didn't really need to have the image of Sam and some other guy masturbating in a locker room together in my head any more than it already was. I had been texting Tina, keeping her updated for the past hour about what exactly was going on.

**Tina: **I still can't believe that you have all three of those hotties at your house.

I slyly took a picture with my phone of Sam and Jake and sent it to Tina. Hopefully that wouldn't make her too angry at me for being put in this divine situation. Within seconds she had texted back.

**Tina: **Oh my god. Blaine Anderson, you might be the luckiest person in the world.

I noticed that it had gotten oddly quiet. I looked up and saw Sam staring at me. Jake was too busy texting someone, probably Marley, to have noticed. I guess he had finished his story. My phone vibrated and this time Sam had texted me.

**Sam: **Are we gonna share a sleeping bag again tonight babe? ;)

As much as I would have loved to, I knew that with Ryder and Jake here, it would just end up being really awkward. I slowly shook my head and saw the smile that was on Sam's face fall. It broke my heart a little bit, but that was going to have to be saved when it was just the two of us.

**Blaine: **Tomorrow night, we can share my bed. Promise.

Sam read his new text message, his face not changing. Jake looked over at Ryder, with a look that I had never seen before. It was almost a mix between complete elation and complete regret. I looked back at my phone. I hadn't felt it vibrate when I got the new message from Sam.

**Sam: **I will see you there then. Remember, no clothes. ;)

I still wasn't entirely sure what I was going to do about that. There was no denying what Sam and I had, but I think we both have two different views of what exactly that is. Sam seems to think its more sexual than what I want it to be. I get that he probably hasn't had sex in a while, but sex isn't everything to me. I'd much rather have someone that I can just sit down and talk to. Someone that I can hold while I sleep. Someone that will hold me while I sleep.

**BLAINE**

I never thought that you  
Would be the one to hold my heart  
But you came around and you  
Knocked me off the ground from the start

You put your arms around me  
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go  
You put your arms around me and I'm home

How many times will you let me  
Change my mind and turn around?  
I can't decide if I'll let you  
Save my life or if I'll drown

I hope that you see right through my walls  
I hope that you catch me 'cause I'm already falling  
I'll never let a love get so close  
You put your arms around me and I'm home

The world is coming down on me  
And I can't find a reason to be loved  
I never wanna leave you  
But I can't make you bleed if I'm alone

You put your arms around me  
And I believe that it's  
Easier for you to let me go...

I hope that you see right through my walls  
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling  
I'll never let a love get so close  
You put your arms around me and I'm home

I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth  
And I've never opened up  
I've never truly loved 'til you put your arms around me  
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go

I hope that you see right through my walls  
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling  
I'll never let a love get so close  
You put your arms around me and I'm home

You put your arms around me and I'm home

* * *

**AN: Thank you all for being so patient with this chapter. Its the longest one that I've written so far, and it definitely wasn't the easiest. Please continue reviewing and sending in any suggestions that you may have, especially for songs. I read every review and use them to try and make the story better. **


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